Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

Go away. I don't need your advice.

I've had so many people say this to me I've lost count. 'You can always adopt' - as if that had never occurred to us before, as if it's easy, and as if it's an actual substitute for having your own biological children.

I don't know why people feel the need to give advice on things they know nothing about.

I think a lot of us are numb to it now but it’s the relentless of these comments. Over and over again by EVERYONE. The insults we receive, the disgust etc.

Have you seen the comments on the fist page - unnatural, abnormal and one of the worst I’ve seen ‘what’s the point of staying alive’ I don’t think a ‘sweet smile and more tea’ is a suitable response to someone basically telling another human to kill themselves because they chose not have kids!

*first page not fist!😁

I've had so many people say this to me I've lost count. 'You can always adopt' - as if that had never occurred to us before, as if it's easy, and as if it's an actual substitute for having your own biological children

I had this. I'm afraid I once said "I don't want anyone else's brats"

Where do you get that from?

This is a thread about comments made to those who don't have children.

Commenting that 'mothers get it too' or any other anecdotes that end with 'but anyway I have children' ... really isn't the point of this thread.

You’re wrong, this was debated to death before the topic was formed. It’s for anyone without children. Other posters are welcome, but need to read the brief.

I think I've misunderstood. I thought this board was for child free women, not childless. Obviously those comments are appalling, heartbreaking, for the childless.

"You're failing as a Christian woman and will probably go to hell" or variations on that theme. Makes me glad I left the Fundamentalist movement. Delightful theology there -NOT.

With respect some of these comments are appalling to be made to anyone!. Yeah I'm ok with not having children but I'm not ok with the reactions I have received from some. I am disabled, multiple serious health issues and a traumatic childhood from which I'm still recovering. Yes I never desired children which makes it easier for me compared to some but for me the "by choice" thing is more complex than it sounds as I wouldn't medically be advised to have them even if I did want them.

So I'm not sure actually . Am I still childfree or would I really be childless? I also have diagnosis of PCOS and I'm in my 40s, so I could also fit into the childless category . But if I were to say to anyone I'm childless I would get the "poor you" kind of comments which may be well intentioned but I honestly don't think I need sympathy for not having children, as since childhood they have always been a "no thank you" for me. I enjoy other people's children but I feel like a fraud when people dress sympathy for my not having my own. I don't feel any grief over it . In the other hand if I admit that to non childfrees ,does it make me seem unnatural and cold hearted?

I also never had a desire to marry either and as for sexual desires or attracrion, they aren't non existent but I could happily live without ever having a romantic attachments to anyone . Since leaving Fundamentalist Christianity I have joined an Anglican church and they consider people like me to "have a gift of singleness" because I have never wanted to be a wife and I'm indifferent to potential boyfriends. I'm content single , I have friends and I enjoy their company, but that's enough. Sometimes I do wonder what it's like to feel loved by someone but I also know I have major trust issues and would probably struggle to be with someone until I've worked through them.

What does being happy with your choice have to do with not being offended by what other people say? They’re not mutually exclusive. I know being childfree is the right choice me and I’m grateful every day that I’m alive in a time where I have the choice, but I still get upset by shitty comments from dickheads.

I’m happy with the way I look, but would still get upset if someone called me fat and ugly.

New starter in my Team (hadn’t been in the workplace an hour). “Any children? What no biological clock ticking?”. Quite loudly so most of the wing could hear.

“I don’t believe you do have a bad shoulder. I think it’s your body telling you, you want a child” ~ GP, because I was 36 and had a frozen shoulder.

So you are saying it’s acceptable and not appalling and heartbreaking for childfree women to be told we’re unnatural, abnormal and what’s the point of us being alive?

Oh absolutely. The childless are to be pitied whereas the childfree are cold selfish harridans so have at it.

“That makes you a bit selfish, really, doesn’t it?”

”You barren or what?”

“What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you want children? They’re the only reason for living.”

This

Also to the PP who said justifying your life choices or words to that effect, justifying implies someone has done something wrong. There is no crime or sin in refusing to bear children.

Wow these comments are disgusting and the people should be ashamed. Sadly, I think a lot of people are very narrow-minded and dare I say it whispers a bit dim. They can't fathom the idea that somebody may not want to live exactly the same life that they do.
I haven't had anything this bad, I once had a 22 year old ask 'Really?!" With a wide eyed expression and mouth wide open when I told her I wasn't sure about having kids. I also had an acquaintance tell me when I was 27 that if I wanted them, I needed to hurry up, LOL.

Honestly, a lot of people feel their life lacks purpose and don't know what to do with it, so decide to have children as it's something to focus on.

@fitzwilliamdarcy "
Oh absolutely. The childless are to be pitied whereas the childfree are cold selfish harridans so have at it."

I think you'll find I said nothing of the sort. But hey, in the words of the prophet "why let the truth get in the way of a good story?"

Can't believe these taxi drivers, what the hell?! They should seriously be reported if they're speaking to passengers like this.

Colleagues too, report them to HR.

Friends/acquaintances, ditch if possible.
I know it's not always so easy though, especially when it's family.

"You're not really an adult with real responsibilities 'til you have kids" (I was caring for a dying relative at the time, I felt pretty fucking responsible)

"Oh, bet Mr Beeskipa is regretting that ring now!" - an ex boss. Prick. Mr Beeskipa wants kids as little as I do pal.

"Well, some of people are just cut out for slog of parenting and some aren't." - as though I'm just too lazy to try

Bonus: When I responded to the last comment with "it's not that I couldn't hack it, it's that I don't want to", she asked why and I said I didn't think it be much fun for me personally. She said (witheringly), "You don't have children to have fun, you have them for the good of society". You're reaaaaaaally not selling it to me babe!

I think you'll find I said nothing of the sort. But hey, in the words of the prophet "why let the truth get in the way of a good story?"

@CurlewKate so what did you mean by your post:
Today 17:59
I think I've misunderstood. I thought this board was for child free women, not childless. Obviously those comments are appalling, heartbreaking, for the childless.

Indeed, it’s suggested as though it’s a mere formality to be approved as an adoptive parent, rather than the invasive, intrusive process it actually is.

Bonus: When I responded to the last comment with "it's not that I couldn't hack it, it's that I don't want to", she asked why and I said I didn't think it be much fun for me personally. She said (witheringly), "You don't have children to have fun, you have them for the good of society". You're reaaaaaaally not selling it to me babe!

The moral high ground she standing on was so high that she was obviously suffering from oxygen deprivation.

Oh yeah 'just adopt' as if it's like buying a McDonald's or something.