Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

Even my ex MIL gave me an ovulation test kit on the last Christmas I was with her son

Bloody hell. Mind you, doesn't surprise me. At my parents' wedding reception, DM's new MIL said 'Now don't make me a grandparent too soon.' Some people have no filter either way.

I think there's a big difference between encouraging women to have children and forcing them to. And this concept of "oh motherhood is such a blessing and such a glorious thing to do for your country" is frankly disturbing.

Plus there're people that look down at single child couples on why you only had just the one child. The number of children that a couple wants is only decided by them - NOT by friends, family or anyone else.

Or indeed whether a woman wants children at all is decided by her

"shag for victory" 😂

@Normalsizedsalad

Good grief, the comments some women have experienced are just AWFUL! I admit I don't really remember any particularly bad comments. I've known from.a very young age that I didn't want children. So my parents have always know they would be getting 0 GC from me! They're both in their late 60s and have told me multiple times how, even if I had wanted kids, they don't feel old enough to be GPs 🤣 It appears I'm very lucky to have parents who are very much, 'you do you' people.

My ILs are similar. Although I suspect that if my SIL hadn't had our neice they'd have been very sad not to be GPs. They're far too polite to say it though! I do think it's likely that they sometimes curse the day I met their son as it's likely he'd have had kids with someone who wanted them (he said he wasn't bothered either way, but had always imagined he'd be a dad as that's what people do. Thankfully he's very much in the CF cheerleader camp with me now 😉).

I've had the standard: you'll change your mind, it's 'different' when they're your own (a screaming kid is a screaming kid - DNA doesn't make it less annoying surely?), who'll look after you when you're old? Those kinds of things. But I just laugh at those people now, or point out how monstrous it is to even ask and get mad at them (I know sooo many childless people who've been through the wringer trying to conceive).

Oh the 'who'll look after you when you're old?' question. From the same people who'd vehemently deny they expect care from their DC when they're old and call us CF'ers 'selfish.'

Even the briefest perusal of threads here about how much (little) people are willing to do for their parents/in-laws, and how easily people go low contact/no contact should disabuse anyone of the notion that parents will have someone to look after them when they’re old.

A lot of people also seem to massively de-prioritise their own parents (and massively encourage same for their inlaws) once their own kids arrive. I won't discuss specifics and make this a TAAT but you'll all have seen it.

@JudgeAnderson if it's the one I'm thinking of then it's just awful how some people think that children take priority over adults all the time and adults are called selfish and precious for daring to want something basic.

I predict that in a few years time many of the posters who are bringing up their children to believe that they are the centre of the universe, more important than their own grandparents etc will be on here complaining about how awful their teenagers/young adult children are and how they never seen them.

I predict that in a few years time many of the posters who are bringing up their children to believe that they are the centre of the universe, more important than their own grandparents etc will be on here complaining about how awful their teenagers/young adult children are and how they never seen them

It's weird that these posters never seem to realise that they're modelling to their DC how to treat people as they age.

That's it, isn't it? They honestly seem to forget that they're going to be the next generation of grandparents, and their children, now adult, will have been brought up to believe that they're the centre of the universe and that older adults have little worth.

The minimization of head lice is pissing me off at the moment "its just a treatable parasite"

As a child free woman, why does that bother you? Not sure I follow!

Why didn't you just tell them rather than let them keep asking you questions about it.

@toadinthebucket Niece works in a school but lives with my elderly parents She caught head lice off one of the kids. DM is unable to wash but refuses to let others help her. Shes 88 and has osteoporosis My niece lives there and works in a school for SEN children and caught head lice off one of the kids. Apparently the child has had it for ages and the reason is the parents cant keep on top of it because he and his brothers and sisters keep passing it to each other. 🙄 Dreading DM catching it because she will just refuse to be touched. Cant wash properly but refuses help. I dont want it either. i dont have a shower so would struggle to keep rinsing and rinsing. I have a bath and a washing up bowl to rinse my hair. All im entitled to apparently. And quite frankly i dont get the perks of being a parent so why should i risk getting the shit bits. The kids family keep making excuses about why they cant get on top of it so my niece is likely to catch it again.

Er, because it shouldn’t be on people to divulge painful and personal information to stop other people being nosy and inappropriate?

Exactly!

Because funnily enough people commenting on whether or not they think they think someone should be having more regular unprotected sex isnt necessarily something everyone wants to discuss with anyone who feels like it

And also those same people who ask seem to get terribly offended when asked intrusive questions about their own sex life back

And if you do tell people you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of useless advice and irrelevant anecdotes about relatives or friends who got pregnant by doing x, or worse “just gave up and stopped trying” and now they’re expecting their second, asked if you’ve tried IVF or “why don’t you just adopt?” I’m amazed that this actually has to be spelled out.

Not a comment I have received directly, but I was reading the Gateway Women website the other day, and there is a comment on there (actually from the founder) which says that childless women have a 'whiff of death about them'. I think that's absolutely awful!

Gateway Women has such a miserable and depressing mindset, though. Definitely not one for anyone who wants to make lemonade- strictly for the wallowers.

@LoobyDop Yes, I do find that. I know others have found it helpful, but I don't. There's a group of older Gateway Women who describe themselves as the 'NomoCrones'. I find that completely depressing.

Do they? I met my tribe through GW and I don't find that at all. They are an inspiring group of ladies who I love spending time with.