Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

Gateway looks like a brilliant example of why "childfree" and "childless" do not go together!

GW isn't marketed as being for both, though, is it?

I know you have the bugbear about this board being totally unsuitable for us all because it allows both types to contribute, but I don't think what GW does has anything to do with this board.

Oh look, its you, popping up again to moan childfree and childless doesnt work together when 90% of the time on this board the only thing that doesnt make them work is you complaining they dont work 🙄

I just had a look at Gateway Women and definitely would not be for me.

Anyone know of anything similar for people who just… don’t have children? Almost every group I’m in has been taken over by parents and conversations about children / grandchildren are front and centre, even where that has no relevance to what the group was set up for (bonus points if it’s also a group that doesn’t encourage pet pictures, as that’s equally dull)

That’s what this is supposed to be.

I’ve seen parents take over threads on here as well, though

What kind of groups have you tried so far? This is a fear of mine for the future - that whatever I join will be dominated by talk of children and family and I will always be reminded of what I don't have.

I am just guessing, but maybe groups focused on a specific interest would be best - i.e the more niche the better, so that you are mixing with people who are fully absorbed in their hobby.

One of them was a support group for a medical condition, one a group for people who play a specific musical instrument, plus a craft group. So on the face of it, no need to bring family into all the conversations!

Hmm, that is frustrating. You have my sympathy.

Ditto the gym.

I go to a weight-lifting class with a group of very dedicated women in their 30s and 40s. The whole of 2023 and into the 2024 was dominated by talk about two of their son's moving from primary to secondary school.

I thought we'd all be too absorbed in not having a heart attack the weights, our form, improving our PBs to be yacking on about kids. Apparently not.

Caught one in the wild today, I got the 'oh you don't know what love is until you have kids'

I know this colleague very well and pointed out I found that incredibly offensive. I am very aware of what love is. She clarified she meant it's a 'different kind of love' and I pointed out I'm glad to hear it, otherwise there'd be some extremely inappropriate parent / child relationships out there 😂

Thankfully we have some very open and frank discussions at my work so neither of us was actually offended, but I hope it means she'll think about it before commenting in the same way in future

I note that the CF board is being blamed again for a rise in child and mum-hating posts - on the thread, posted by a parent, about how she finds the way small children eat repulsive. I’ve counted only one comment from a CFer compared to countless others talking about only finding their own cute - but of course it’s us lot to blame as ever!

@fitzwilliamdarcy ive just been reading a thread about the devaluation of motherhood on the feminism board. Few posters there are saying that women want children really and its all the fault of social media

Motherhood has always been undervalued, that is, taken for granted by men. That's why historically wives have been property, slave labour.

People have rose-tinted glasses on if they think there's some period in history in which motherhood was valued highly.

There was a thread started by a parent who was fed up with her friend always bringing her kids along to their meet ups, and one poster immediately assumed the OP was childless and told her she was a shit friend who lacked the empathy to understand what it means to be a mother.

I was chatting to someone at work on Friday, I’d never really spoken to him before as we work in different hospitals but on Friday we were at a meeting together. Anyway, I was beside him at coffee break so struck up a conversation. He (unprompted) started telling me all about his young adult children, their ages, what they did at 3rd level, what they’re doing now, what their longer term plans are etc. I listened politely, didn’t have to ask any questions as he monologued without needing any cues. When he’d finished, he asked me what stage of parenting I was at. When I said I didn’t have any kids his face dropped as if he’d stumbled upon a tragic fact and he leaned in, put his hand on my arm and earnestly told me how sorry he was to hear that. I cheerily shrugged him off and said “don’t be sorry, I’m not!” and the baffled look on his face was hilarious. He could not comprehend what I was saying.

And he's probably telling himself what a brave face you're putting on, because some people just cannot comprehend that a) other people don't want children and b) are happy with that.

Oh I fully expect so. It was clear by his reaction that he was absolutely taken aback.

I had a go on that thread, expecting a pile on, but I only got one (male) poster telling me how I was spoiling feminism.

What, singlehandedly? 😄

With the blokes who scold women for doing feminism wrong you almost have to admire the complete and utter lack of self-awareness and the arrogance.

Oh no, you lot are complicit as well 😂

Did you have a miscarriage? This was asked when I was volunteering in my local community cafe!! I thought I’d heard them all but apparently not.

Not a comment specifically but the hypocrisy of the "it takes a village" brigade.

Strange, Unnatural, Abnormal - in a current AIBU thread. It’s interesting when these types of threads on MN are created. All the -ists, cruel, evil people (mostly women) have a field day!

Childfree bingo eh. Which one is it?