When stacked against some of the comments other people have had here-I've come off lightly. I've been called "unnatural" and "abnormal" by an ex-boyfriend and his mother for not wanting children. This was when we were still together.
I remember one time, he asked me why I didn't want kids. I was 21 at the time. I turned it around on him as I find it nonsensical to justify not wanting to do something whilst he doesn't have to justify wanting to do something. He replied with, "It's just what you do." That was the true extent of his reasoning and I was still somehow in the wrong for thinking about it deeper and deciding that no, it's not something you just do.
The thing that always gets me is the dismissiveness of people, particularly family. I recently went through a wobble on my choice after many years of being child-free by choice. So, in some respects, it's understandable.
After much reflection, I realised how much work kids are and how much I don't want to be strapped down to that life. It's just not me and it's never been me. I'm very certain on that fact.
Now, I'm subject to "When will you give me a granddaughter?"-my mum-(even if I was to have a kid I couldn't guarantee it would be a girl). If I happen to mention the fact that I was walking my dogs and heard, through closed doors and windows, the sounds of kids shouting and screeching and that I didn't want that life as I couldn't cope (extremely noise sensitive) to be dismissed with "There's lots of good things too. It's just the weekend and everyone's off so they're like that,"-my dad.
It's the feeling that no matter what I say, how I justify it and explain how I feel, my feelings are dismissed as "You're only doing it because your boyfriend doesn't want kids." "You're convincing yourself now." It makes me, a 36 year old woman, feel like a child.
Yet, if I said, after 35 years of never wanting kids and having no maternal instinct whatsoever and being very vocal about that, that I wanted kids it would go unchallenged and encouraged. In fact, that's exactly what happened when I had my wobble. No one questioned my sudden change of heart. it was just "when?"
I wish more people understood that there is an element of sacrifice with this decision as well. I know that having kids could be great-but I know I'm not cut out for it-and I love my non-existent child enough to not inflict myself on them. Sometimes we make the choice for ourselves-but also because we know that unless we want them sufficiently, it's not fair to bring a child into the world.