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Original poster

Can I give my nearly naked nanny notice...advice?

149 replies

helpwithnanny · 21/05/2008 18:01

As some of you will know from my previous thread I have been having 'issues' about my live in nanny wandering about half starkers all the time with norks on full display!! She has had a verbal and written warning but hasn't managed to put them away pull up her socks and Im feeling the need to quit and think alternatives. I have been chatting to a lovely lady locally who is a childminder. She is fab. Not only could she have them both for exactly the right hours but she will cost us WAY less than the current nanny and of course offer the benefit of not having a live in hanging about!
What Im asking I guess if what do you think is the best way to break the news to the ex nanny?
I could if I was that way inclined issue another written warning for the norks hanging out at which point I could sack her! (Im assuming anyway as contract states 1 verbal, 2 written). Im tempted as she has been a bit of a moo. But at the same time she is generally a nice girl and this option leaves her homeless (although her parents and boyfriend are both living locally) and I don't want to ruin the poor girls career by sacking her blah blah
At the same time if I give her notice Im stuck with her norks in my face for another month!
I guess I could pay her off but thats a hell of a lot of money!
Cant think of a better way of doing it, being legal and not costing me a fortune.

HELP!

K.

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imananny · 21/05/2008 19:11

you have asked nicely to put jugs away, and you have given her a written warning as she ignored your request YET she is STILL getting her boobs out.

imo you are quite within your rights you sack her/dimiss her - maybe offer a weeks wages if it makes you feel better

regards to live in - she can stay at her boyfriends/mum house if they are local

hope all works out with cm - sounds a much better childcare solution

limecrush · 21/05/2008 19:16

flaming heck!! Don't know what I'd do. She sounds bonkers. Lock up your dh!

thisisyesterday · 21/05/2008 19:21

I would totally sack her.
you shouldn't be worrying about leaving her homeless, I am sure she has family and it isn't like this has come out of the blue, she knew it could come to this if she kept blatantly getting her tits out and she has chosen to do it anyway, so tough

NotABanana · 21/05/2008 19:53

What about your poor children's eyes????

NotABanana · 21/05/2008 19:54

Give her notice and get rid sharpish.

TeaDr1nker · 21/05/2008 20:00

i can't believe a nanny would behave like this!!!!

grumpybum · 21/05/2008 20:23

I would be furious.

Tell her to leave or get sacked - just get rid

Thefearlessfreak · 21/05/2008 20:42

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Thefearlessfreak · 21/05/2008 20:46

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mogs0 · 21/05/2008 22:23

I had a friend who was "made redundant" from her live-in nanny job. They told her Monday night and she had to leave Friday, although, they did pay her for the 4 week notice period in her contract. She wasn't expecting it, so was a huge shock and very upsetting. Also, her family lived over 100 miles away from her job so quite a stressful experience for her. However, your nanny has been warned about her conduct at work and has family/boyfriend close-by so wouldn't be stranded. I would pay her for the 4 weeks and ask her to leave in a week rather than have her work for the next 4 weeks.

I read your other thread and couldn't believe her attitude towards you after asking her to dress appropriately (sp).

The CM you've found sounds like a great solution!

elkiedee · 21/05/2008 23:58

Tell her it's not working out. You've raised the dress/lack of with her. She's ignored you. Have you also told her about your concern that she should do more with the kids? Not that she needs further warning.

Tell her you want to end the arrangement. Don't give her notice - maybe pay in lieu if you feel that's the only way under the contract but the sooner she's gone and the kids can start with a CM the better for you, proably all.

NotABanana · 22/05/2008 10:10

It sounds like she thinks she can get away with speaking to you in a very rude manner and ignoring your perfectly reasonable request to put clothes on, so you need to follow through with consequences. Treat her like a child as she is acting like a stroppy teenager.

Is she half naked in front of your children or just you and your husband?

Zippidy · 22/05/2008 10:20

Just wanted to say !!!

Mary Poppins would never have done that!

Think you have been more than reasonable and should sack her asap...

Good luck with CM

Saturn74 · 22/05/2008 10:29

I'm amazed that the nanny is still there.

Your first thread about her was 9th May, when you were given similar advice as on this thread.

It is now nearly two weeks later, she is still there, and you still have the same problems.

She's been working for you for less than a year.
You say you've given her warnings.
Why is she still there?

I'm really confused, because the image you paint of her is not great, but yet you say she is "generally a nice girl", and you "don't want to ruin the poor girls career by sacking her".

So she's a crap nanny that you don't want to sack for being a crap nanny, in case the fact that she is a crap nanny stops her getting other jobs, where she will continue to be a crap nanny?

I wouldn't have looking after my children for another minute, frankly. And not because of the nudity issue, but because she clearly doesn't respect her employer, so I wouldn't trust her to care for the children properly.

Saturn74 · 22/05/2008 10:30

"I wouldn't have her looking....."

Flibbertyjibbet · 22/05/2008 10:46

go on, someone put a link to the other thread by this op about this nanny, I'm beside myself with wanting the full story!!

Agree totally with Humphrey Cushion by the way - if you ebayed nannies and passed this one on to someone else with a good description, you would get SERIOUSLY bad feedback

Norks out and thongs is soooo soooo outrageous in a family setting. Perhaps she sees you as some kind of 'past it' saggy old mare and is now just trying to rub your nose in it after you told her off. She probably thinks you are incredibly jealous of her fab bod.

I will check back mumsnet later on and expect to see a thread entitled 'I've done it I've sacked my stripper nanny'.

juneybean · 22/05/2008 11:21

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2300/527713

flowerybeanbag · 22/05/2008 11:28

It never ceases to amaze me how many people post on this topic with awful nannies that have sometimes done dreadful things or just been generally very rubbish, and yet seem reluctant to do anything about it even after asking for advice!

NotABanana · 22/05/2008 11:33

I agree.

And they are looking after the most precious person.

MeanBeans · 22/05/2008 12:58

To be fair, helpwithnanny HAS tried to address the situation after her original post and things DID seem to improve, but then it seems to have deteriorated again. And it seems that she now needs advice about how to actually handle the dismissal.

SO - I understand how difficult it can be to take action in situations like this, when you've "committed" yourself to a nanny, especially if you are providing her accomm. But I think you've been good to her to give her the warnings and you shouldn't take on the responsibility for the nanny's career. The girl obviously has strong views about what she wears (or not...) and it's up to her to find a job that allows that "expression" of belief.

If you don't want to pay the notice in lieu, then the only way is to go for gross misconduct. You'll have to check your contract terms to see if her behaviour amounts to that. In my contract, one of the grounds was:

"Failure to carry out a reasonable order given by the Employer during working hours or serious disregard of duties"

Something along that may be useful.

Good luck and be strong!

flowerybeanbag · 22/05/2008 13:09

I really can't see that this could be gross misconduct tbh - yes she has failed to follow an instruction to improve, but if it was a verbal warning situation to start with, then a written warning following lack of improvement, it's not suddenly a gross misconduct situation. Gross misconduct is one incident that is so serious it warrants immediate dismissal/suspension as continuation of the employment contract would be impossible, and I wouldn't say that is the case here, as the employment has carried on after the instruction.

It sounds as though helpwithnanny has now come to the end of her tether with an ongoing situation, and that combined with her finding alternative childcare means she has decided to dismiss her nanny. Which is all fine, but it isn't gross misconduct. She can't get away without paying her notice pay I'm afraid.

AtheneNoctua · 22/05/2008 20:45

Oh my God, is she still at it? I'd sack her. And it wouldn't come with a month's pay. That is for people who are being let go dues to no fault of their own (i.e. made redundant). This girl is prancing around with no clothes on.

Verbal warning. Written warning. Sacked... on the spot... you have 24 hours to get out.

Jeez, I sypathise. Can you just imaging if I walked into my boss' office in a thong and knockers (if I had any). I'm sure I'd be sacked, and I'd deserve it.

Nannies do not have the right to walk around my house in inappropriate attire whether or not they are within their contracted work hours.

AtheneNoctua · 22/05/2008 20:47

Flowerybeanbag, she isn'tsacking her because she found a childminder. She found a childminder because she is sacking her.

flowerybeanbag · 22/05/2008 20:51

AN I read it as she was thinking about sacking her, or what to do, then met the childminder and now feels in a position to go ahead.

Either way, if she wants to call it redundancy so it sounds a bit fluffier, she can do so, particularly at this early stage.

But I do agree with everyone who says absolutely no need for fluffiness!

sleepyeyes · 22/05/2008 21:25

As an ex-live in nanny I say sack her disgraceful behaviour.
I never left my room even to go to the bathroom in the dead of night unless I had bed clothes on Plus a house coat!

I would say if she is good with the kids then maybe give her a weeks notice to give her time to sort out a move BUT DO NOT give her a months notice etc she really dosen't deserve it.