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Original poster

Can I give my nearly naked nanny notice...advice?

149 replies

helpwithnanny · 21/05/2008 18:01

As some of you will know from my previous thread I have been having 'issues' about my live in nanny wandering about half starkers all the time with norks on full display!! She has had a verbal and written warning but hasn't managed to put them away pull up her socks and Im feeling the need to quit and think alternatives. I have been chatting to a lovely lady locally who is a childminder. She is fab. Not only could she have them both for exactly the right hours but she will cost us WAY less than the current nanny and of course offer the benefit of not having a live in hanging about!
What Im asking I guess if what do you think is the best way to break the news to the ex nanny?
I could if I was that way inclined issue another written warning for the norks hanging out at which point I could sack her! (Im assuming anyway as contract states 1 verbal, 2 written). Im tempted as she has been a bit of a moo. But at the same time she is generally a nice girl and this option leaves her homeless (although her parents and boyfriend are both living locally) and I don't want to ruin the poor girls career by sacking her blah blah
At the same time if I give her notice Im stuck with her norks in my face for another month!
I guess I could pay her off but thats a hell of a lot of money!
Cant think of a better way of doing it, being legal and not costing me a fortune.

HELP!

K.

OP posts:
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Mtorun · 22/05/2008 21:30

I would sack her the day she told you to get a life! I would never ever tell this to my employer its just very rude!

You seem lovely and deserve better.

flowerybeanbag · 22/05/2008 22:00

sleepyeyes unfortunately helpwithnanny doesn't get to decide how much notice the nanny deserves, it has to be what's in the contract, however annoying it might be.

QuintessentialShadows · 22/05/2008 22:02

If she is walking around pushing her tits in everybody s face isn't that pretty close to sexual harassment?

And working with children?

She should think about her career, not you.

silvermum · 22/05/2008 22:38

don't have time to read the whole of this thread but am stunned - her behaviour sounds TOTALLY inappropriate. i'd get rid of her pronto. do whatever it takes. i'd be very uncomfortable with your situation. good luck

Janni · 22/05/2008 22:58

She sounds like a real attention seeker, which is not a good quality in someone whose job requires them to put the needs of small children before their own.

More worryingly, she could be laying out her wares for your DH to sample.

She's had the warning, she's ignored it. Go with the childminder. You and your DH together should tell the nanny why she now needs to hand in her notice pronto.

AtheneNoctua · 23/05/2008 07:20

I don't think OP is obligated to give her any notice at all if she is sacking her(unless of course the contract says otherwise). So giving her notice is simply a gesture of kindness on the OP's part. However, nanny is unlikely to see it that way.

I for one would not give notive. I'd give her 24 hours to pack her things and go (if I decided to sack her) and I wouldn't leave the house in this time. I'd also take the house key off of her immediately so she can't go copy it if she leaves the house.

flowerybeanbag · 23/05/2008 09:23

I'm afraid notice pay is not a gesture of kindness, it's a legal obligation. This isn't a gross misconduct situation - she is perfectly within her rights to dismiss her obviously, but she also must pay notice - whatever is in the contract assuming something is specified, or if not, the statutory minimum of a week.

Here you go.

Original poster
helpwithnanny · 23/05/2008 13:19

She walked out

[jumps up and down wildly] emoticon

Yesterday I pulled her up for swearing repeatedly on the phone in front of the ds' and I said I wanted to talk to her at the end of her shift. Didn't see her for the rest of the day (ds2 said they watched tv all afternoon ) then at finishing time she came downstairs and plonked the house keys on the table and said "Im leaving, you're a muppet!" and I said "Im glad as I was just about to sack you" Her boyf was outside and they loaded up his car and off they went. Room is a pigsty and she has written F**k you muppet on the wall in marker

But she is gone

Children are starting with fab childminder after the holidays

Scary how lovely, sweet, experienced nanny with great refs can turn out to be such a nutter! Scary that I trusted her with my children

K.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 23/05/2008 13:22

Saved you sacking her anyway, and saved you the notice pay

Glad it's over and you have a good childminder sorted as well.

CarGirl · 23/05/2008 13:23

I'm sure the CM will be a much better experience

BradfordMum · 23/05/2008 13:23

Oh My Goodness, how awful!!!?
You are So well rid of her. Talk about the hand that rocks the cradle eh?!
She is one psychotic person!
Thumbs up for Childminders!!

Sally xx

Freckle · 23/05/2008 13:25

She might regret that little display of nastiness when her next employer asks her to produce a reference from you.

MinkyBorage · 23/05/2008 13:30

Oh my goodness!!!
Photograph the wall! What a total utter bitch!
Congratulations on losing her though.

bethoo · 23/05/2008 13:30

surely you could bill her for the graffiti on the wall? i would certainly let future employers know what she did. how awful the little b

MinkyBorage · 23/05/2008 13:32

I am seething for you because of this, it's so shocking.

flowerybeanbag · 23/05/2008 13:32

As it's only been a few months, if she has any brain at all (yes I know...) she will not disclose this employment at all, and will say she was travelling or something instead, to avoid the reference issue.

snice · 23/05/2008 13:34

Do you need to change the locks?

flowerybeanbag · 23/05/2008 13:34

Good idea snice, yes do change locks.

onepieceoflollipop · 23/05/2008 13:35

Minky did you mean "photograph the wall and if her next employer asks you for a reference send the photo as a little extra with the reference!?"

MinkyBorage · 23/05/2008 13:36

yes, that's what I meant!

Earlybird · 23/05/2008 13:37

Remind us again where you found this nanny? If an agency, I'd inform them.

bran · 23/05/2008 13:40

That is really shocking. Do you think it might be worth your while contacting her referees to let them know what has happened and to see if there were any warning signs that they might not have passed on to you? Otherwise they will presumably keep passing on excellent references to unsuspecting employers.

I know that they wouldn't be able to say anything negative that you have told them in a future reference because it's just hearsay, but they would be able to pass on your name and contact details to prospective employers.

dittany · 23/05/2008 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
helpwithnanny · 23/05/2008 13:57

Yes locks are being changed this afternoon, thought of that one.

Have a decorator coming to give me a quote for re-painting and then will take it from this months salary and am getting the cleaner to come in specially too. Also 2 duvet sets are gone, a cd player, a digital camera (which was downstairs) so don't think she will be getting much in the way of wages this month. Need to make sure nothing else has grown legs before I sort the final bill!

Im so about all of this. We have been the nicest employers, we welcomed her into our family and treated her so well and she has walked all over us, been rude and disrespectful and stolen from us. This experience has really put me off ever having a nanny again!

Im just SO glad we have found a lovely childminder to use, or I don't know what I would do!! You know when you meet someone and its like 'you are just so lovely' and ds was running up to her and hugging her etc She takes the kids she minds to all sorts of places and groups and when we went to see her the children were all in the garden in the sanpit and they were all so happy and laughing.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 23/05/2008 13:59

at stealing! Worth calling the police I'd think.