Fuck fuck fuck nanny has resigned

[PalindromicUser]

I know she absolutely has the right to resign but I’m so cross! It’s been such a difficult year. DD only has another 9 months until she starts school then nanny could look after as many babies as she wants to (she’s taken a job looking after a 5 month old).

I’m also really disappointed she resigned via WhatsApp rather than calling me. I can understand that she wanted to avoid having a potentially difficult conversation but that’s what being a grown up is like, surely?

It will be fine, we will go back to more nursery and wrap around but I just wanted to let of steam with people who know how much I feel left in the lurch! Plus the additional organisational burden will almost certainly fall to me - the nanny was most helpful to me rather than DH and relieved so much of that burden.

@Jeeperscreepers69

You bred. You nurture. You bring up your children. Its that simple. I did it all alone. Wow yip i surely did. And you no what it was my job not a weekend job.

I don't understand your point here. You chose to be a SAHM - your choice. Are you saying it's wrong for mothers to work outside the home? Do you believe it's wrong for fathers to work outside the home too?

You have every right to be annoyed.
She should not have WhatsApp-ed her resignation!

As for the rest of you I don't know why everyone is getting upset its not like OP named and shamed her!
If you have nothing nice to say, keep quiet....or sign off with your real names !!!!!

Speaking as a nanny, there's never a good time to resign or a good way. I have always resigned in a face-to-face conversation but can understand the temptation to do it by WhatsApp - I hate confrontation! As others have said, you are right to be frustrated with the situation, but not really with the nanny. Whether you speak directly or get a WhatsApp message, it's the same information, it's not really a two-way conversation - unless you thought you could persuade her to stay.
I am looking for other work (my nanny family don't know this) and if successful in getting another job I will be giving four weeks notice.

Hillary that’s a ghastly post you’ve written
There is covid,wars,disease,tragedy affecting millions and some are unaffected. Doesn’t make them bad or unconnected people.it just makes them fortunate by geography,health and luck

I had a wee moan that’d run of dishwasher salt. Doesn’t make a a Rotter it just means it was a minor gripe

Is it worth offering her more money to stay?

We have just hired a nanny 3 months back when I rejoined work and she is a blessing. I can completely see why OP would be so overwhelmed with the situation. Yes, the nanny has to make the best decision for herself and yes, it is definitely well within her rights. But it's a thread purely aimed at reacting to a difficult situation. Some of the responses are just mean. Is this because it's a nanny and not a nursery? I do remember MANY parents working and trying to arrange childcare when the nurseries were closed, having similar venting threads on the site. So how is this different? It's 4 weeks to not having any childcare while a parent is trying to juggle work and caring for a person dependant on her for everything.. it's not a bloody easy task. All the posts with the sanctimonious tones about doing everything themselves really need reflection about who was getting the food on the table, heating, supplies and the roof over their heads while spending their time caring for the children. Or maybe tell the other non-magical mothers the ways they developed extra arms cooking, cleaning, working, feeding, entertaining and getting their children to sleep at the same time..

@SentientAndCognisant

Hillary that’s a ghastly post you’ve written There is covid,wars,disease,tragedy affecting millions and some are unaffected. Doesn’t make them bad or unconnected people.it just makes them fortunate by geography,health and luck

I had a wee moan that’d run of dishwasher salt. Doesn’t make a a Rotter it just means it was a minor gripe

Excuse me, you make my point, but who started off with major profanity? The title didn't offend you? That wasn't a minor gripe

It was all about me me me,
Get on with it,
Yes there are many suffering all over the world and all this person can think of is who is going to bring up her children, there's a clue there, HER CHILDREN

That was my point, look within and see the cause and the solution

Good god

@elcoucho

Speaking as a nanny, there's never a good time to resign or a good way. I have always resigned in a face-to-face conversation but can understand the temptation to do it by WhatsApp - I hate confrontation! As others have said, you are right to be frustrated with the situation, but not really with the nanny. Whether you speak directly or get a WhatsApp message, it's the same information, it's not really a two-way conversation - unless you thought you could persuade her to stay. I am looking for other work (my nanny family don't know this) and if successful in getting another job I will be giving four weeks notice.

It’s a sheer lack of respect. Plus has the nanny not bonded with OPs child? To resign on watsapp is bad manners to say the least.

If it was me I would have a good long think about if the nanny was unhappy about working for my family. It’s a bit odd.

Some of the responses are just mean. Is this because it's a nanny and not a nursery?

I am guessing it's a lot more to do with the attitude of the OP. My kids had nannies, I still find the OP very unpleasant in her posts.

Yes there are many suffering all over the world and all this person can think of is who is going to bring up her children, there's a clue there, HER CHILDREN

It's not all she can think of I'm sure, it's an unexpected pressure point that panicked and upset her. She isn't claiming to be centre of the universe.

And yes it's clear they are HER (sharing your use of caps) children which is why she is now going to organise alternative childcare. Not sure why you needed to point out they are HER children other then to imply she isn't 'raising them' herself as she is a working mum?

Many parents work and use childcare, it doesn't mean they aren't 'raising' their children, they are still their children and still loved. Such loaded language is disingenuous at best and mean spirited at worst. Good god indeed.

Just to be clear when I said 'raising them' I was referring to @Hillary4's phrasing re who would 'bring up' the children. As if working parents aren't worthy of the descriptor of bringing up their children...

How long was nanny with you ?

You have my sympathy having been in that situation myself a few years ago. It is hard not to feel emotional about childcare for your own little ones and I always felt guilty about working but equally, having spent 5 years in medical school, have also felt guilty about not working enough. Choosing the right nanny is a big decision and you don’t want your children to have lots of changes in their lives. Hope it all works out for you and take care of yourself as well as the family

I’ve noticed that the way people talk about nannies on mn is with a time that indicates that they are thought of as some kind of pet.
How dare they have their own mind and career aspirations!?
How dare they take a better offer if they find one!?

It was the way the op said the nanny could get another job and look after all the babies she wants that sounded do dismissive and high handed and it spoke volumes.

@ssd agree completely as though she looks down upon nannies for wanting to be with babies as though it’s childish.

OP I gave my loyalty as a nanny to many families over many years and I learnt very quickly to leave if I felt disrespected. Mainly because the children then grow up to be disrespectful.

I think a lot if women see childcare and staying at home as beneath them, so the fact you actually choose to do it as a living is something they look down on.

The best employers for nannies are the ones who tell you straight off the bat, they don't want to be at home all day, they'd rather work and they love their jobs. In other words, be honest. These employers appreciate a good nanny and never see her as less than them. The worst employer is the ones who tell you they'd love to be at home if only they could afford it ( whilst wearing designer gear and driving a top of the range car), they always cook from scratch at weekends (freezer full of birds eye nuggets etc) and generally give you the feeling they see you as choosing to do something they'd rather avoid = you must be an idiot.. And speak to you dismissively as I believe the op probably does.

And experienced nannies learn to spot the bs early on.

@ssd

I think a lot if women see childcare and staying at home as beneath them, so the fact you actually choose to do it as a living is something they look down on.

when you read the vile and abusive comments about SAHM, I think you have a point. That, or jealousy.

Vile and abuse comments about sahm. Don’t make me laugh.
Working mums are routinely pilloried on mn, evident on this thread
And working mums who employ a nanny, well they get the full treatment, not only are they avaricious & absent they’re a harridan of an employer

OP is getting a hard time. She could be working on a Covid ward full time for all we know, for the person calling her privileged.

Nanny here 🙋🏻‍♀️ And I have to admit I also handed in my notice to one family a few months ago via WhatsApp .. unprofessional maybe but there’s a few things to take into consideration here

Has the op’s nanny been furloughed since April ? Perhaps the new role she will be paid 100% of her salary instead of 80% ? perhaps the nanny was well aware she would be let go in a few months (with 4 weeks notice as per contract) and was actively seeking new roles , something perfect came up so she took it .. perfectly reasonable ..

A lot of things have happened / changed for nannys during this pandemic .. my situation has been massively negative , I’m a self employed nanny and have worked with the same handful of families for over 7 years .. first mention of lockdown I was instantly “ not needed” some even Refused to pay my two week notice period , some have moved on with other childcare options without even informing me they wouldn’t require my services ..

For the family I left via WhatsApp I literally heard nothing from for 4 months , not even a happy birthday and I have cared for all 4 of their children since birth .. I honestly couldn’t face the 1 hour journey to speak to them face to face or the awkward phone conversation , or how upset I felt about their lack of contact or concern over my finances . Respect goes both ways and WhatsApp is the same as email in my opinion if that’s how your regularly contact each other .

So many nannys are let go when they become pregnant , let go when grandma decides she will mind the children , let go when a nursery position becomes available , let go when charges start school or hours massively dropped when it suits .

Hopefully op will find a temporary solution until dc starts school x

@closetalker. The point is they are her children just have to do what you have to do and bring up your own kids. Got nothing to do with mams and dads working outside the home or any sexist bull crap your trying to start.