Fuck fuck fuck nanny has resigned

[PalindromicUser]

I know she absolutely has the right to resign but I’m so cross! It’s been such a difficult year. DD only has another 9 months until she starts school then nanny could look after as many babies as she wants to (she’s taken a job looking after a 5 month old).

I’m also really disappointed she resigned via WhatsApp rather than calling me. I can understand that she wanted to avoid having a potentially difficult conversation but that’s what being a grown up is like, surely?

It will be fine, we will go back to more nursery and wrap around but I just wanted to let of steam with people who know how much I feel left in the lurch! Plus the additional organisational burden will almost certainly fall to me - the nanny was most helpful to me rather than DH and relieved so much of that burden.

Annoying yes but she obviously has to put her livelihood first. If you would be getting rid of her or potentially cutting hours in the near future she had every right to go for another job.

Soupy!

Of course the nanny has to look out for herself. Resigning by what’sapp was sneaky
Letter or call would have done it.

I’m not sure what you want people to say? It’s clear you are blaming her and she is not responsible for your life. She has done a great job and now must move on.

Nothing wrong with resigning over whatsapp if she anticipated your disappointment in fact it was wise of her as in person you may have become emotional.

It would have been convenient for you if she stayed on but she has to think of herself and find a new role.

I sincerely hope none of you is ever in the position of having your childcare arrangements fall through unexpectedly at short notice.

I've been in this position many times unfortunately OP.

It's really hard

There have been a good number of posters offering support to you tho - don't tar us all with the same brush!

Resigning via WhatsApp seems to me she wants out and knew the reaction she would get. Says it all really.

@SentientAndCognisant that’s not true how ridiculous

Thankfully, most mums with nannies understand that whilst it’s always sad to have a nanny resign and yes, terribly inconvenient - it is inevitable in life.

What exactly is ridiculous @Bidenfairy I’ve made multiple posts
Care to elaborate?

If she resigned by WhatsApp she probably felt nervous about approaching you and talking it through, do you know why she would feel like that?

Sympathy OP.

This happened to me though I was a month into my exH leaving and as single mother working full time I was in the shite basically. I also had considerable health issues and was on my knees as a result.

I was similarly upset about it but more because I couldn't cope even with her helping me so without her it felt impossible.

However it worked out fine. I replaced her with someone much better on a part time basis and it proved wonderful for my kids. She was a great nanny but in the end the change was a bonus- even if it was hell at the time.

I used to be a nanny. Unfortunately in one position, I was given notice when they found out I was pregnant. The family made out that had always been the plan, that when the child reached a certain age, they would be sending the child to nursery, but obviously this had never been communicated with me until they wanted to finish the contract.

It made me much harder to the business side of things. If parents can get rid of nanny with a months notice, then nanny is also free to leave the position.
Lots of childcarers have a preferred age to care for and if yours prefers babies, then she is bound to look elsewhere. 9 months is a long time to have a job you aren’t enjoying.
Did you cut her hours when your child started nursery? If so, Maybe she isn’t happy with the reduced hours or if you kept her hours the same but she Is now Expected to do housework Or other chores to make up her hours, that isn’t working for her. Or, if you pay her to sit and twiddle her thumbs, maybe she is bored and wanting to actually be working during that time.
I do get why you are frustrated with the WhatsApp message, but I’ve had to send difficult topics through emails before as I just haven’t got the words to say it/it’s too awkward. It’s not ideal and I get why you are upset about that though.

Lol, what did you think would happen? Nanny would wait until 4 weeks and 1 day before your precious starts school and then give you a handwritten letter in black ink on Basildon Bond? I also can't believe this is real.

Since you won't be needing a nanny for very much longer she probably decided to look for a new job now. You can't really blame her for that although it's inconvenient for you.

“No you don’t owe anyone an apology op, and they're here for the pile on anyway
On mn a working mum with a nanny is always an easy target . And boy did you get it both barrels”

Firstly that she’s been urged to apologise, this is not the case. She has been urged to stop seeing this purely from her position.

How utterly ridiculous of you to say that mums on here are a target because they have a nanny. A high percentage of people do have a nanny and would never disparage them like this.

@Chicchicchicchiclana

When I knew it would be the end of the line for my nanny, I told her to start looking. A fantastic position came up with a neighbour to which I happily let her go as I knew she may not find another position like that. It isn’t easy for nannies to find good families to work with as this post shows.

She resigned by WhatsApp but still has to work a month? How awkward is THAT first meeting going to be?!

The assumption is the op is mean spirited employee and nanny cowed by op
However just as likely is nanny has a new job and is avoidant of a difficult conversation
On mn women employing other women for childcare or domestics is always seen as an imbalance. Employer. Never allowed to have an opinion or be exasperated. And obviously the employer must always feel indebted and heap praise & gifts on the nanny & cleaner

@SentientAndCognisant

No you don’t owe anyone an apology op, and they're here for the pile on anyway On mn a working mum with a nanny is always an easy target . And boy did you get it both barrels

Bit dramatic, even for you.

@SentientAndCognisant

Oh dear...either you have an axe to grind or are very ignorant.

Biden, having a nanny on mn equivalent of being a Dickensian mill owner
No the op doesn’t owe any apology she’s been shabbily treated imo
She’s been Called entitled
Posters have said she’s a bad employer no wonder the nanny left
Told her tone is off

Biden yes many folk have a nannies , what’s your point?
However mn is generally unfavourable to employers of nannies

i can see it is stressful to have to unexpectedly make other child-care arrangements.
but OP if you have the chance of a better preferred job opportunity at short notice, wouldn't you grab it, even if it left your boss with a gap.
also it does sound like you are deflecting frustration at your husband's hand-off behaviour onto the nanny pursuing her own career. it is her career. it is your husband's family.
look nearer for fairness complaint.
good luck.

No axe, but nor do I have my pitchfork
The mob mentality on the thread is risible

I can see why you’re fed up. But that’s life. She can leave if she wants. I’m sure that, with all the job losses around, you’ll find someone else really easily.

Very difficult for you op and understandable that you are worried about childcare. Whatsapp is an awful way to find out as well. However I also understand that your Nanny would know that she would likely not have a job in a few months time so it is reasonable for her to secure her employment future. Many people, in far better paid jobs than Nannies, move on at times which are inconvenient to their current employers in order to secure better employment opportunities.

From your perspective, it somehow seems more personal when the employee looks after your children and works in your home. From her perspective, it seems that she would know that her employment time with you was coming towards its end as you mention she could look after babies in a few months time. I wonder how much notice she expected to get when you no longer needed her.

I sympathise with you wanting to vent on here and I understand your disappointment at the Whatsapp resignation which I think was very poor. Other than that I don't think there is fault on either side. The nature of nannying is that the nanny is expected to move on every few years which must seem a precarious position to be in when a contract is nearing its end