Fuck fuck fuck nanny has resigned

[PalindromicUser]

I know she absolutely has the right to resign but I’m so cross! It’s been such a difficult year. DD only has another 9 months until she starts school then nanny could look after as many babies as she wants to (she’s taken a job looking after a 5 month old).

I’m also really disappointed she resigned via WhatsApp rather than calling me. I can understand that she wanted to avoid having a potentially difficult conversation but that’s what being a grown up is like, surely?

It will be fine, we will go back to more nursery and wrap around but I just wanted to let of steam with people who know how much I feel left in the lurch! Plus the additional organisational burden will almost certainly fall to me - the nanny was most helpful to me rather than DH and relieved so much of that burden.

Bit of an over reactive thread title! Suggest you get some perspective OP.

Unexpectedly at short notice 'at the exact amount of time stipulated in the contract'. Fixed it.

And btw OP, loads of nannies are looking, I'm sure you should have no problem finding a replacement.

I'm sorry for you op. We are in a similar position, except I am starting a new job soon and I cannot be leaving every day early for the school run.

After school club is a poor option 5 days a week especially for the littlys and very expensive for 3 kids. We are knee deep in childcare. Co. UK and I veer between feeling optimistic and feeling that this is going to turn into a car crash.

It is a different type of relationship, after 8 years it feels like we have been dumped. By children are sad too. But it is indeed the nanny's right, and we have been very gracious and sent gifts etc.

@charlieclown the best thing I ever did was look for a reliable local childminder, who do pick ups. They’re worth their weight in gold, are marginally cheaper and sort out their own taxes.

None locally have spaces for 3 kids.

Although a nanny has the edge for us as the children are just knackered by the end of the day.

It’s clear to see which side has been vicious on this thread. People have tried to help OP understand and calm down regroup from her strop.

Would people really be so rude if someone was upset that their local nursery was shutting down in 4 weeks and informed them by WhatsApp.

I think that a minority of posters are trying to help her at all. She wasn't swearing at the nanny, she was swearing at the situation, where in 4 weeks during lockdown she would have to find alternative childcare and have her DC say goodbye to someone who has been a big part of her life for many years. Of course the nanny has the right to leave. WhatsApp isn't ideal but not so terrible. But the swearing was at the situation not the nanny. Lots of inverse snobbery on this one.

@OverTheRubicon

It’s clear to see which side has been vicious on this thread. People have tried to help OP understand and calm down regroup from her strop.

Would people really be so rude if someone was upset that their local nursery was shutting down in 4 weeks and informed them by WhatsApp.

I think that a minority of posters are trying to help her at all. She wasn't swearing at the nanny, she was swearing at the situation, where in 4 weeks during lockdown she would have to find alternative childcare and have her DC say goodbye to someone who has been a big part of her life for many years. Of course the nanny has the right to leave. WhatsApp isn't ideal but not so terrible. But the swearing was at the situation not the nanny. Lots of inverse snobbery on this one.

Agree. The OP was clearly just having a vent. Of course the nanny is entitled to resign giving notice as per her contract but that doesn’t change the fact it’s a massive pain in the arse to find childcare at short notice. She’d have had more sympathy if she had a CM or nursery, inverse snobbery as you say.

I really feel for you, OP. I’ve always thought having a nanny would be the lovely, expensive, high performing option but I’ve found it a massive hassle, tbh.

Ok. I think wats app to resign isn’t professional

A written note handed to you

Tho sometimes in a nannying the parents think it’s personal and hard to say face to face

It’s not. It’s a job

4w notice isn’t much but what YOU agreed to in contract

So next time have longer notice

I’ve always had 2/3mths notice as 4w isn’t enough imo

How long was she with you ? Least you don’t have to at redundancy now next sept :)

In the good side there are many nannies needing jobs

You will find one easily

I've never had a nanny (God knows I would have had one if I could ) but as this is a relevant thread in the nanny section and everyone seems to have calmed the fuck down a bit can I ask - is it not awkward if you had a long notice period? I know people say it's a job but surely it's a little bit of a different relationship/situation?

"I don't want to look after your children anymore"
"OK, that's fine, see you every day for the next eight weeks when I secretly hate you as I'm taking it personally despite knowing I shouldn't"

Personally, I would have liked a day nanny and a night nanny

@EatScrollSleepRepeat

I've never had a nanny (God knows I would have had one if I could ) but as this is a relevant thread in the nanny section and everyone seems to have calmed the fuck down a bit can I ask - is it not awkward if you had a long notice period? I know people say it's a job but surely it's a little bit of a different relationship/situation?

"I don't want to look after your children anymore"
"OK, that's fine, see you every day for the next eight weeks when I secretly hate you as I'm taking it personally despite knowing I shouldn't"

Personally, I would have liked a day nanny and a night nanny

I've been a nanny for 12 years so can answer this from my point of view... It can be awkward but all depends on your reason for leaving. I've had jobs where I've known after 2 weeks that I really don't click with the parents and handed my notice In very quickly, but we chatted like adults about it and I offered to do a longer notice period than needed to help them out whilst they found a new nanny. I'm lucky I've never had a job where I've really disliked the parents or kids lol.

OP - I do get why you're annoyed as I'd never hand notice in via WhatsApp, and I don't think anyone working for example in an office would either and nannying is no different in terms of being professional. I did give a previous boss prior warning to my notice once but she knew I was actively looking for another job as I'd been made redundant from my other one and she knew I'd be leaving at some point to make the days up!
I can imagine it is annoying having that oh fuck moment where you've got to plan childcare for the next 9 months but...
Your nanny probably knows her job is coming to an end soon, there are certain times of year that are better to look for jobs and she won't want to miss that opportunity, also nanny jobs are harder and harder to come by at the mo due to covid and all the dramas that entails. I know nannies with plenty of experience who are amazing who are really struggling to find work! Having to take jobs they never would have taken before. I know nannies who are leaving the profession as its changed so much.

You had my sympathy until you said "she'll have years to work with babies", not really the attitude to have to be honest lol. She might be offered more money, longer job stability etc, would you pass on that opportunity?

[quote Bidenfairy]@Opinionator you say that but have you seen the responses levelled at her too? That she’s jealous etc?

Kids are primarily the parents responsibility, you must be able to carry on and find new childcare without blaming third parties.[/quote]
Yes I did see that. To be honest though, she deserved it! You can't accuse someone of being a rubbish mum and expect people to be kind back to you...

As someone who has always had to organise things and look after her own children I do find posts like yours utterly cringeworthy

So you’ve never used a child minder, nursery, preschool, school for your DC?

I think it’s a really shitty thing to suggest working women don’t look after their own children. I was a SAHM til DD went to secondary (long story!) but would never suggest a WOHM wasn’t looking after her DC. Shitty!

Having worked as a nanny for nearly a decade myself, that’s pretty poor professionalism from her.
I’ve always resigned from a post face to face or phone call with a formal letter to follow up and served my full notice period as well as help the family look for new candidates.

However, please don’t berate her online, nannies have it hard at the moment with a lot of parents working from home and for a lot of us, the passion and enjoyment of our careers is fast disappearing.

Fingers crossed you find someone new soon :)

I feel your pain but as a nanny myself the only part you can be justly annoyed about is the WhatsApp message. Not very professional at all. But she’s working the notice agreed in the contract so she hasn’t done much else wrong.

The pandemic has shown a huge amount of bad treatment towards nannies and more are out of work than ever so you’ll easily find a replacement. She doesn’t actually owe you anything and doesn’t need to give the difficulty of your situation a second thought. If it was the other way around and you suddenly couldn’t afford her what would you have done, kept her on for 1/2/3/4 months until she found another job? I don’t think so. For her if your tile is no longer right then it’s no longer right and she has to put herself and her needs first. As much as she bonded with you and I’m sure loves you and the family, it is just a job to her. Sorry but other than the WhatsApp resignation, she is well within her rights and no unreasonable at all.

@justaweeone

What a pointless post.

Oh dear how dare the peasants give notice what will you do ? Really um employ someone else not really a problem given what’s going on in the world is it . Also you have nursery care just bump up the hours there it will be like you don’t have child 😳 perhaps they’d do overnight care too🤔 You havnt mentioned impacted on dd just me me me nice . I wouldn’t want to work for you either ☹️

@PalindromicUser

I know she absolutely has the right to resign but I’m so cross! It’s been such a difficult year. DD only has another 9 months until she starts school then nanny could look after as many babies as she wants to (she’s taken a job looking after a 5 month old).

I’m also really disappointed she resigned via WhatsApp rather than calling me. I can understand that she wanted to avoid having a potentially difficult conversation but that’s what being a grown up is like, surely?

It will be fine, we will go back to more nursery and wrap around but I just wanted to let of steam with people who know how much I feel left in the lurch! Plus the additional organisational burden will almost certainly fall to me - the nanny was most helpful to me rather than DH and relieved so much of that burden.

I know exactly how you feel! 3 years and she goes on maternity leave, comes back for a week and then ditches us for her cleaning business she has started up (More likely I think because she ended up with 3 kids of her own, plus my 3 and she bit off more than she could chew!)

What pissed me off more, she asked us to keep her and wait for her maternity leave to end.

I was furious. Complete ignorance.

I would also say (and I’m sure this is a gut reaction to you be upset and still angry, once a bit calmer perhaps it will change) that the comment about she has years to look after babies translated to me as ‘she has years to do what makes her happy but whilst I need her she should be putting my family first’ and that does make me wonder about what sort of employer you have been. I’ve worked for some awful ones and that comment could have come straight from their mouths

Nanny threads should never be added to Active convos. Some posters just don't understand why other people need different forms of childcare.

OP, we've had really good experiences with finding nannies through KoruKids. Depending on where you are, they have lots of pre-vetted & trained staff on their books.

When we said goodbye to our nanny I was anxious about getting the extra house jobs done/ cooking/ not having a buffer if running late back from work. We really quickly got into the swing of nursery/ school and wrap around care so hope you will too. Rubbish that she resigned by WhatsApp - that’s poor form but not worth falling out over.... we have a good relationship with our nanny and she does (or did) some baby sitting ad hoc.

@nannynick yours is easily the most sensible response on here.

Some of you need to do WAY better.

@PinkPlantCase

Don’t know why you’re getting so much stick OP. You’re allowed to be annoyed! This is a big change for you in a year that’s already been very changeable.

Also resigning over WhatsApp is never okay. How long had she been with you for?

I agree.

I have to say, that was a record quick flounce

I agree that resigning via whatsapp is poor, but perhaps that says something about her relationship with you and why she's leaving.

Odd that she has got a new job with some employer who hasn;t sought a reference from you, the current employer. How many parents of a small baby would fail to do that?