Fuck fuck fuck nanny has resigned

[PalindromicUser]

I know she absolutely has the right to resign but I’m so cross! It’s been such a difficult year. DD only has another 9 months until she starts school then nanny could look after as many babies as she wants to (she’s taken a job looking after a 5 month old).

I’m also really disappointed she resigned via WhatsApp rather than calling me. I can understand that she wanted to avoid having a potentially difficult conversation but that’s what being a grown up is like, surely?

It will be fine, we will go back to more nursery and wrap around but I just wanted to let of steam with people who know how much I feel left in the lurch! Plus the additional organisational burden will almost certainly fall to me - the nanny was most helpful to me rather than DH and relieved so much of that burden.

Were you planning on giving her notice or keeping her when they went to school? If the former she is right to look for another job now rather than be left in the lurch? Presumably if you were keeping her on she wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere.

I think the way she resigned over Whatsap was wrong but to be fair, didnt you furlough her in April and maybe she was worried that she would lose her job soon as your youngest starts school in March, it would make sense for her to look for a new role to ensure job continuity.

Im guessing, although using watts-app was not great, it could be that it was used, so the nanny has a record of the conversation, rather than using a phone, as then the situation could be nanny said x but then employer said y ect, not presuming you would op, but its one possibility.

OP don’t worry. If you’re in London - looking fir full-time there are a glut of nannies looking for work. Just advertise in a temp contract.

Obviously it's a pain but you employed her, you don't own her and the reason you're getting flack is because it's coming across you are more furious at her nerve than stressed by your situation.

Presumably you intended to ditch her in nine months anyway? She's not stupid. I would take a good job if one came up with less than a year on a contract.

Not an ideal situation, but seems not to be the end of the world as you appear to have a plan B to turn to with the nursery. Maybe she felt that she might not be needed as much once your dd starts school so putting her own interests first,which she’s entitled to do. And if as people have said, there’s not a lot of nannying jobs around at the moment, she had to take what she could.

Novice mistake op.you had the temerity to be frustrated at being let down
So here the thing,despite it being an employee/employer relationship, on mn,to get approval you must heap praise,gifts,honied words on your nanny
Never must you the employer & parent be frustrated or be exasperated
However,the nanny who looks after the children you abandoned in the avaricious pursuit of mere money is entirely entitled to any expression of emotion. Because she’s there and you're not

Understand those mn rules, and everything will be tickety boo

Sounds to me that she has secured herself a job with a baby that will last the next 4 years . Rather than waiting and looking for something after you don’t need her. Who could blame her . P

That's frustrating. It is disappoint to lose s good nanny. And will be a hassle to organise new childcare and an upheaval for the children. It's an extra stress you weren't expecting i completely understand need to vent.
Hope new childcare search goes as smoothly as possible.

@FTMF30

I don't really know about nannies but surely she has to serve a notice period like any other job? I know that doesn't help much but it reads as though she's basically told you she won't be returning. Is that the case?

Statutory Notice Is only a week. Contractual notice is different and people aren’t really legally bound to serve it.

The fact that your husband is sexist isn't the nanny's fault.

Nor is resigning with notice wrong when her contract entitles her to do so.

And it should be in writing, so if Whatsapp is how you normally communicate with each other, I don't see the issue with that either.

However,the nanny who looks after the children you abandoned in the avaricious pursuit of mere money is entirely entitled to any expression of emotion. Because she’s there and you're not

No, but she is entitled to resign if she wishes. Over WhatsApp isn't very professional but that's life. Our nanny resigned at a shitty time for us, but she was offered a job that she wanted more. It happens and you deal with it.

well now you know that in future you should insist on 2 or 3 months notice from either side. I get that it's a pain but now is the time for your DH to step up so it doesn't all fall on you.

Cross, because your nanny resigned.
You need to check your priorities and entitlement
This can't be for real.

Genuinely I've seen people get sympathy on mn for all sorts of fripperies
Op Nanny resign unexpectedly and it’s all she’s not your prisoner,shit happens,get over it
Yes of course the op will persevere on,she’ll have to find childcare for two kids.
She’s not going to hold nanny captive, steal her passport and demand she stays

Being very disappointed is entirely different to being cross! If you didn't want her to leave, then perhaps you should have made her want to stay through whatever means possible. She clearly wasn't enjoying the job for whatever reason.

It is shit, I suspect especially so at this time of year. But as you say you only need her a few more months, the 5 month old will likely need her for a few years so it makes sense for her to go with that opportunity.

@Devlesko,which part is unfathomable?having a nanny?or nanny resigning
What is so unreal about this. It’s pretty commonplace

I would never put 2 or 3 months notice in a nanny contract. Once they’ve decided they want to go - do you really want them around that long?
Or if you find out after a few months that they’re dreadful and you want them gone immediately then you have to pay out a small fortune, no thanks

I'm so confused. It's very clear that OP just wanted to vent?? She mentioned how rubbish it was that the nanny resigned over text (I wouldn't be happy either!! Rude!). I just feel like people are missing OPs point. She wasn't trying to bitch about the nanny, she just wanted to see if anyone understood her frustration at the situation.

I'm so sorry OP, this really sucks :( I hope everything works out ok!

@SaltyAF

TBH if you feel entitled to berate her online, I'm suspect you're a pain to work for. I have no interest in the Nannies section but this appeared for all to see on active conversations.

That’s a bit off. Resigning via WhatsApp is incredibly unprofessional. OP is hardly “berating” her.

Even though our contract says a term notice- I would be upset if that was all the notice I got from our nanny. We have been very open with her about timescales that we are looking at for her working with us and if she is ok with this. I have also asked her what she wants to do next and how we can support her to find her next role. For example if she was still looking for the right job- we would try and keep her longer.

@SaltyAF

TBH if you feel entitled to berate her online, I'm suspect you're a pain to work for. I have no interest in the Nannies section but this appeared for all to see on active conversations.

@SaltyAF I don’t think the word “berate” means what you think it means. Look it up and then tell me where in OP’s post she berated anyone.

I’ve seen some baseless conclusions on MN but this is the most absurd one. I really think some people have such a chip on their shoulder that they just live for taking someone else down a peg. Especially if that person has the temerity to be well off enough to employ a nanny.

If you think of your children as a "burden" then perhaps you should have made some different decisions.

As a disabled single parent, I have to actually raise my child myself and the moaning about having to look after your own kids (when doing so just about kills me, pain wise) it's just infuriating

Haha on mn if you don’t tip the bin men at xmas and leave the cleaner a fortnum & mason hamper you’re a Dickensian mill owner