Why do we have kids if we can't look after them ourselves?

[tothepoint88]

I offered a view on a couple of threads that is perhaps different from most of the mums on this website. I apologise for hijacking the two threads that I did and if either of the authors of the two threads were hurt or upset by my view then I unreservedly apologise as I should not have made those points on your threads. However, I do not apologise for my view and I do take exception to the responses that I got from people who were not the originators of the threads.
There seems to be some idea on here that one is not allowed to question the idea that having others look after your children while you go out to work is OK and perfect sense. It seems that we all have to abide by the belief that not looking after your kids and going out to work is OK. Well I'm sorry, there are people out here who might wish to challenge that view. OK, if you want to go out to work and leave the kids in childcare OK, but don't blindly believe that there aren't people out there who might think that it is not OK and perhaps the selfishness that seems to have crept into motherhood in the last 20/30 years has no effect. Not everybody believes that it is possible to balance a career and bringing up children. The idea that somebody else can do a better job than the mum or dad is frankly odd.

Yawn........Fuck off

Wot Unfitmother said.

You are entitled to your opinion

People are allowed to disagree

There are so many things I could argue with in your post but really can't be bothered

Am too tired after working all week whilst someone else raises my children

So, basically only the rich should ever reproduce?

I agree, tothepoint, and it's bold of you to say so!

I certainly don't admire people who 'juggle' work and childcare, and resort to using nurseries, childminders, nannies etc. It's a matter if priorities, I think.

You are entitled to your opinion and views as much as the next person. Just don't expect many people to like them or you.

okay

no professional child carer will attempt or even want to supplant the parent

why do you think it's ''not okay'' to ''go out to work and leave the kids in childcare''

who will pay the bills/mortgage/rent ?

and why is your ire directed at mothers and not at fathers?

thank you

I suspect that many, many more people will agree with the OP than will admit.

Agree with Ruby. You have your opinion. I don't care what you think.

I spend loads of time with my child and we are all very happy. And it would be "selfish" for me to stay home and not feed/clothe/house him.

It's not a matter of wealth (childcare aint cheap!), it's about priorities.

The OP mentions mums and dads, not just mums.

why do you suspect that, pastaplease?

and I'll ask you too, why are you not directing ire towards fathers?

lucky you not having to work. i am looking after two choldren right now. Poor deprived boys have had friends over, dinner made and we have played footie and are now chilling with a dvd, rather boring but its their friday night treat. Parents are musicians, should they not be allowed to have children?

Lol pastaplease and op are Probably same poster, different names

( I know, Star) lol

"The idea that somebody else can do a better job than the mum or dad is frankly odd."

How many men's websites have you posted this on? Or is it only women (mothers) that you want to pick a fight with.

What Uniftmother said.

I suspect it because I've talked about this to lots of friends and family members. It's just not the done thing, so say it in fear of being critical of others.

I'm not bothered whether it's a mother or a father. I said "people", not "mothers".

I'm a musician too.

No, not the same person at all!

I think so too pastaplease. When I was pregnant with DS1 I also thought like the OP; however, not everyone has a DP or family that can support them. Why should those people not have children?

Should we stop sending kids to school and have either mum or dad stay home to educate them? It is a form of childcare after all?

I'm a nanny. I help make it possible for mothers (and fathers) to go to work if they want to or if they need to. I love their children and look after them well and help the family unit to function. I don't replace a parent. I add to the number of people in the family. In a way I feel I am part of the "village" that helps raise children and in my opinion that's a GOOD thing. I work hard so the parents can work hard. And I hope my presence eases any guilt they might feel for their choices, although personally I don't think ANY parent should be made to feel guilty for those choices. People can have different opinions but no one should be made to feel bad for doing what THEY think is best for THEIR family.

so basically if a women wants children she has to marry someone rich, or chose not to work stay at home and claim benefits. do you home school your children so they dont have to go to school and be watched by teachers and not yourself. of course i would love to not work and still have plenty of money for bills,food clothes,treats ect but that is just not possible as i would have to claim benfits so would have no money to do those things anyway.
if the chose of life was either have children and never work or work and never have children. either every1 would be unemployed and at home or the population would be a lot smaller due to everyone working and not having children

have we just gone back in time 50 years?

OP refers to selfish motherhood and pastaplease posted that she agreed

I haven't heard you say anything about selfish fathers

????