A i right to insist DP staying with me against hospital rules?

[tiggz]

My dp and mum are goin to be my birthing partners but at the hospital im giving birth in, the policy is they can stay with me throughout the childbirth, but if my baby isnt born within the visiting hours of 12-8pm, my DP may have to leave me as its not visiting hours and i will be alone, right after having the baby, they say its because they like to give the mum plenty of rest, but if my DP isnt there with me i will only be unsettled, i'l get more rest just knowing he's beside me, not only that, i just want him there and why would he want to leave me and his newborn?
I dont want to be the anoying patient but do you think id be right to insist on him staying there. i dont want to be alone!

lulu anoying this is iv tried everything possible to induce labor at home but nothing works...sooo anoying!

ok, so have they explained that you coul dwell be on the AN ward for 12 + hours, and once visiting is over, your DP will be sent away and you will be on your own?

and he will not be allowed back in until the visiting hours the next day or you are on labour ward, whichever happens soonest

No they havnt, i have to go in at 8.30am and they said im only one person with me which will be my dp. and thats before visiting hours? ugh im confused ha ha.

I am shocked that they are letting you go so overdue whilst on medication to decrease your blood pressure and I am pretty sure this is not normal so I still don't beleieve you.

then i would confirm how long he can stay.. chucking out time where i am is 8pm for fathers. differnt visiting hours cna apply for fathers

he will not be staying overnight and if this is your first baby there is every chance you will need 2 lots of gel to get you going, whihc are given 6 hours apart, and your first one won't be given at 08.30 .. so be prepared.....

You need to call and clarify exactly what the plan is and when your DP will be expected to leave etc.

yes induction with BP needing meds is not usually left so late.. but giving the info re procedure on AN ward can't hurt.

i've known ladies be whipped in for immediate induction before labetol even prescribed,but there you go....

I was on labetelol with DS.

They gave me a sweep on my due date but was to report to big hospital the following day for induction plans if that didn't work (it did, thankfully!).

Epidural failed to lower my pressure.

So more drugs in the IV.

Then they had to keep pricking DS's heel and taking a blood sample every few hours for a day or so after he was born because I'd had that.

did your BP come down post delivery?

yes i know i am starting to beleve my hospital is pretty useless, pretty off putting! madame i really dont care if you beleave me or not!
morloth thanku, my hospital really is useless, they dont give you any imformation at all!
Iv had high blood pressure since around 26weeks but its not pre-eclampsia. I am under consultant care but they wanted to avoid inducing me as its aparently a higher risk of c-section. And since iv been on the tablets about 1month after taking the tablets my bp seems to of settled at an okish rate so thats why i think there not worried, i think it would sky rocket without the medication tho

Yes, thankfully, low enough for them to deign to release me.

They have given me 3 attemted sweeps tho

So keep asking, don't hang up until you are clear on what you need to know. If you need to go in and talk to someone then do that. You need to take control here. You are the one having the baby and it is your body. If you are unhappy with the medical care given then lodge an official complaint. If you don't do these things then you are the only person who will suffer.

thanku

have they told you what your bishops score is at your last sweep? was it unsuccesful in terms of it not starting labour or unsucesful s in they could not reach?

Have got incredibly confused trying to wade through this thread.

But all I will say is that I'd love to know how any midwife in a modern maternity unit can be seriously be accused of being lazy!

I think the 1st she could not reach, the second one, my mw managed to pull my cervix to the front, and the 3rd it was succesful in the sense they reached but unsuccesful in the sense it didnt work

if your cervix has moved forward it is a good sign it is ripening and getting ready for labour

thanku, i hope so, i think i just have a lazy baby inside me, i dont think shes too interested in coming out! iv tried every other home remedy aswell, other than castor oil and rasberry tea or whatever it is. hopefully it'l be soon though, and get it over and done with.

tiggz - I think you've said some silly things on this thread - but I was rather deranged in the last few weeks of pregnancy too, so I'll make allowances .

Try to stay calm about it all - it would be nice to know exactly how it will go but you can't know that - in a week's time this will seem like a tiny worry and you'll forget all about it as you'll be so busy with your little one.

Try not to worry - in my experience (and most of those on this thread) midwives are absolutely wonderful. Doing an incredible job under trying circumstances.

Good luck with the birth - hope it is all you want it to be.

thankyou

By MadameCastafiore Sun 21-Mar-10 12:52:33
Sorry - do women after childbirth lay there at night crying for their husbands?

No, I didn;t. But having had a 50 hour failed induction (where DH was sent home eery evening despite me being in a lot of pain, being sick, and pretty scared), then an emergency c section, I really needed his support TBH. I was taken up to a shared ward, my baby was given to me and I was left alone entirely for hours on end. I couldn't move. I had a catheter, I was still numb from the epidural, I was in pain from major abdominal surgery and I had a brand new baby to look after too. The nurses and MW did not help me. I had to ring and wait for ages and ages to get any form of attention. The ward was chocka full with not enough staff.

The next day I was actually given my own room as the first night I got no sleep at all.

My birth experience, or rather the first night, would definitely have been a more pleasurable one had I had my DH around to support and help, even if it was just lifting DD in and out of my arms when she needed feeding, soothing, etc.

Why is it such an odd concept that some women may actually like to have their partner around?

And is it really such an odd idea that some new dads might actually like to be around to help out with their new baby and their partner, rather than sent home on their own?

We all know that financing, etc prevents us all having a private room for the family unit to remain together. But it doesn't mean that people can't wish it could be a little different, and a little more family orientated either.

It'snot an odd concept that people like to have their partner around.
It IS an odd concept some are frightened and feel they can't cope if their partner is not around.

Jasper I don't think anyone has said they thought they wouldn't be able to cope without having their partner around.

And I'm quite sure it's not at all odd to be a little frightened of giving birth for the first time - is it?

jasper i tottaly disagree it is not odd that people feel as though they need they're partners its a very traumatic experience to go through and a woman is very vunrable it is not when people dont want there partners around the same as it isnt if they do. Some people have different ways of coping with bad situations, and in alot of peoples cases, woman cope by falling back onto there rock whch is there dps. And i think it is tottaly ok and normal for a woman to be frightened without her dp around.
hulababy i tottally agree, and i too wish things were alot different in hospitals i think it would make many womans birthing experience a happier more pleasent one. I think its such a shame that some peoples are ruind because of rules, even though they are there for womans privacy i wish there was a way around it, those who dont mind there partners not being there are fine with the rules, but people like me who feel as though we need our partners have to grit our teeth and bare it, which isnt fair. in an ideal world every womans needs would be satisfied.