Anyone else scream during childbirth? Did you feel embarrassed afterwards?

[FrozenNorth]

I've posted my birth story here before (HERE) and am really grateful for all your comments.

This is really a follow-on question: basically, does anyone else feel bad about making a lot of noise during delivery? I can't work out if this is a normal thing to feel ashamed of or whether it might signal that perhaps something is going on for me psychologically (have been wondering about PND but just not sure).

DD arrived in 3 pushes without any pain relief. During that time the midwives very sternly told me to stop screaming, calm down and start pushing. Problem is, I was pushing but couldn't help screaming at the same time - it bloody hurt, and I was really scared given that I'd only just been told that I was a) in established labour and b) about to have a baby. I really wish one of them had just said that it was okay to make noise if I had to. Instead they seemed to be trying to make me quieten down for the sake of the other women in the delivery suite.

I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here other than has anyone else found themselves screaming during labour and if so how did your health care provider react to it?

Yes Beveridge. Perhaps they've forgotten that there's at least one other place that's going to be rather a lot more sore!

I remember making mmm.. mar har har sorts of noises, which makes me giggle when remembering it, rather than embarrassed! There was a very sweet trainee MW there with dd2, and after she said, ooh that was wonderful, thanks ever so much - like I'd done a show or something! I did think she must be dedicated if all that blood and moaning counted as "wonderful", but it was a nice thing to say - sounds like more like her are needed to make us feel better about the stuff we do in labour.

Definitely think it's true that you don't have much say in what you do - rather like an orgasm, that way (tho not in many other ways I can think of!), so no point worrying about it.

I like to think that I loudly moan - I have had 4 now and have made the same noises with all of them when pushing them out - I am on my 5th and will probably be making the same noises with this one in a few weeks time.
To be honest with you I don't even think about it as it is a natural noise that I am eminating and presumably very instinctive to many women - its hard flamin work and if any midwife said be quiet to me she would certainly be told what to do with her be quiet - never be embarrased your bringing a huge life into the world from the size of a small plum that takes some effort!!

I felt it was ok to shout and swear at a midwife because she kept taking the gas and air off me, kept pushing me onto my back mid contraction because she wanted me to lie down and give birth, and kept telling me to hush, be quiet, shush, "we'll not need any of that noise, my ladies labour quietly" etc

Frankly, she got off lightly being told to shut the fuck up. The fact that she worked for the public sector was the only reason she got away with speaking to me like that without being sacked, so I felt well within my rights to put a stop to it.

As it was, ds2 was born after I had YET AGAIN been pushed onto my back mid contraction, despite this increasing the pain five fold, and despite me telling her to leave me alone and let me do it in peace. She offered no reason for me to need to be on my back, and the only way she got away with it was because mid contraction you aren't really in the best position to put up a rational argument. If she was non public sector, she'd have been fucking sacked, never mind sworn at.

I didn't complain about her because the end result was a healthy baby and it seems she didn't endanger him in any way. She didn't have to be quite such an intolerable bitch though.

Just in case anyone finds this thread, as I recently did, after being traumatised by just how very screamy they became during childbirth, here is some evidence that it actually does help to yell :)

www.outsideonline.com/2190461/why-you-should-curse-and-scream

I mooed and yelled and cried and shouted. I was told to be quiet and push. Being quiet made no difference to the strength of my pushes because my baby was fucking stuck and it was terrifying. He was eventually pulled out via ventouse.

To whoever it was that said the woman down the hall sounded like she was being tortured... if it was anything like DS's birth then she WAS being tortured.

This reminds me of my first labour 2 years ago! I was 4cm dilated, sat in bath at birth centre with my DH in same room. I could hear a woman screaming, I remember making comments like 'she's exagerating, it's not that bad' and 'she must have a real low pain threshold' etc. I was feeling proud of myself for being so 'calm'.

1 hour later i was screaming probably 10x louder than that lady!!

The innocense of not knowing whats to come!!!

Tbh I think screaming helped me loads towards the end. I was sort of changing the tune with the strength of the contraction.

I just gave birth 1 week ago no pain meds and the screaming helped me during crowning I felt like I could handle the pain that way and I have always had a high pain tolerance. I am sure I scared other moms and that’s fine they probably screamed too. I think its terrible we have to feel embarrassed about disturbing others when you are pushing out a child. I did feel ashamed- like I should have took it better and that everyone heard me. Next time I might try a home birth where I am not ashamed to scream and shit myself because it’s childbirth. No regrets just wish others would comfort me that you do what you need to do to get through labor and that is perfectly good. There is no silent beauty and grace us women need to uphold when delivering a child. There is no one saying we must hold back the screams and just “take it” quietly. That’s ridiculous. If it was unproductive they would have said so. My child was out in 4 pushes and I screamed with every push. If a nurse tells you to shut up then I’d tell her to shove it. My first child I was so determined to be strong I remember digging from only strength within, strength that my body did not have just to stifle my screams and stay silent. That was the hardest thing I ever did. Looking back I am not ashamed that my second birth I did not remain silent. Please don’t comment you heard other moms scream and thought they sounded like they were being tortured, that again is making someone feel as if their is “an incorrect way to handle labor”. Torture yes torture damn right it’s torture. Go judge someone else’s pain that’s so not- thoughtful. If I need to grunt scream and shit at the same time I will. So here’s to not being embarrassed and the hospital investing in soundproofing for moms to feel at ease. Yes please!

Also I only screamed with each push. I mostly moaned getting deeper/louder with the more painful the contraction. So no I didn’t scream for long. The actual delivery portion when I started feeling the need to push only lasted 16 minutes. I will have you know I am considered tough when it comes to physical pain. And wether your “tough” or not that is okay. There is no shame in the way you handled it.

Through my entire labour I watched them screaming on the big scary birth programme we all know on tv and I was like i would NEVER.
When I was 10cm on the way to hospital if I lost control of my breathing I'd end up making alot of noise during contractions - then when it got to pushing I was so loud!! Not necessarily screaming, more aaarrrggghhhh as I was pushing 🤣 I felt so embarrassed after, I was rushed into the emergency labour room with me being 10cm pushing on arrival which was next to triage and the main entrance and desk to the ward, I literally went out after and apologised to the girls for making so much noise and they were like 'what! You was fine' but I still felt horrified. I still cringe to this day 🙈

Not that this matters, but this thread is nearly 11 years old.

I didnt make any noise during labour apart from a few grunts when pushing but during my induction I screamed like a tortured pig every time they done an internal or inserted a pessary! It was by far the worst and most traumatic part of the whole labour/delivery process!

I mooed like a cow! I physically couldn't stop myself. Luckily after the epidural went in, the pain subsided and I stopped sounding like a herd of oxen.

🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

No screaming, more of a growl haha. I remember the midwife saying, don’t use your throat as it will end up sore. She was right! Such a sore throat the next day. I do remember yelping as his shoulders came out. I had no pain relief & It f**king hurt !!! Don’t feel embarrassed one bit.

No. Not a sound. Didn't open my eyes from start to finish, either :-)

This was me - ten hours of absolute silence with my eyes closed, until I opened them and said I simply couldn’t tolerate the pain any more. Turns out I was only 2cm dilated so midwife suggested we went straight for epidural. I think I really freaked my husband out by basically being in a trance for so long!!

Birthed my baby last night and screamed like an absolute banshee. He came very, very fast and it was just too much. Not remotely embarrassed, I couldn't help it! Didn't know I was capable of those noises

I got told to be quiet and they basically said that I was hurting the baby by screaming as he needed to come out and my screams should be diverted into my pushing.

Bullshit! The screaming helped, and asking someone NOT to scream under those circumstances is fucking unnatural.

I echo the poster above who says they couldn’t stop thinking about their birth for ages afterwards. It’s a horrifying experience and takes a lot of processing. You absolutely shouldn’t feel ashamed, though - your body does what it needs to do, and if that’s screaming then you scream.

I screamed the place down for ds1, the midwife even suggested I have an epidural, which I refused. I wouldn't have been able to keep still in the state I was for certain. Now expecting ds2 in February, but there's such a HUGE gap between the two that I'm worried it'll hurt like hell!!!!! Urban legend has it that, even if you've had children before, the larger the gap in between, the more your body 'forgets' how to do it? Any truth in that??!!!!