Anyone else scream during childbirth? Did you feel embarrassed afterwards?

[FrozenNorth]

I've posted my birth story here before (HERE) and am really grateful for all your comments.

This is really a follow-on question: basically, does anyone else feel bad about making a lot of noise during delivery? I can't work out if this is a normal thing to feel ashamed of or whether it might signal that perhaps something is going on for me psychologically (have been wondering about PND but just not sure).

DD arrived in 3 pushes without any pain relief. During that time the midwives very sternly told me to stop screaming, calm down and start pushing. Problem is, I was pushing but couldn't help screaming at the same time - it bloody hurt, and I was really scared given that I'd only just been told that I was a) in established labour and b) about to have a baby. I really wish one of them had just said that it was okay to make noise if I had to. Instead they seemed to be trying to make me quieten down for the sake of the other women in the delivery suite.

I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here other than has anyone else found themselves screaming during labour and if so how did your health care provider react to it?

frozen, I think you're just feeling shell-shocked as you say in your other thread...it all happened so fast you haven't really got your head round it. Also in a fast labour I think the pain and the weirdness of it just totally consumes you.

Congratulations on your beautiful dd.

The stories on here are hysterically funny, and yes, I groaned, screamed and pooed. No not embarrassed. Though when mw broke my waters at dc3's birth I remember making a deep kind of howl as I felt everything shift inside me. Remember thinking wow, interesting noise.

Congratulations on your Dd!

I do not think any woman should be ashamed of anything she does during labour. A MW telling a labouring mum to "shut up" though should be really really ashamed of herself!

I do not remember if I screamed (my guess is I probably did !) but until the pushing moment, I usually sing. With the combination of headphones + gas and air I am no "Celine Dion" and I am pretty sure the MW would have have prefered me to actually scream the place down.

Oh, yes, I scream just before getting the epidural ( I got it quite late, almost at the last moment possible) and when pushing my huge dd out ( epidural has worn off).
I couldn't have given a shit. You are in great pain, why shouldn't you scream?
I also had a poo and farted a lot- that seemed a bit embarrasing when it was happening, but not after.

I didn't scream with any of mine, I kind of go into myself in labour and am very quiet. I concentrate on completely relaxing every part of me (not learnt in hypnobirthing, just makes sense to me and I like to have a strategy;) tensing up to scream is the opposite of that I guess.

Your midwives shouldn't bully you though, I'm sure different things wrk for different people.

With DC4, I could hear a woman screaming loudly for ages and my midwife was tutting in a "What is her midwife doing, letting her get so tense and afraid" kind of way.

I mooed. Anyone who told me not to make a noise would have got short shrift

no i did not scream just a couple of moans and groans ,some ppl on tv go OTT

I didn't scream, but wouldn't feel embarrassed if I had. I heard some other women screaming while I was in labour and it didn't bother me in the slightest. It hurts, why shouldn't they scream? It would have bothered me more if my MW was complaining about someone screaming because I would have worried about them judging me too.

I screamed once, when the doctor gave me an episiotomy. They were in a hurry to get DS out so he injected the anaesthetic then cut straight away, so it didn't really have time to numb anything! I didn't even know what was happening, I asked DH if I'd torn and he said "no, he cut you." And then DS was along and I was a bit distracted!

Seems ridiculous to tell a labouring mum to be quiet.

I didn't scream!

But I did swear (which I never do, honest) and bit dh so hard on the chest that he has a scar .........

Disenchanted3 - lol!

I didn't scream just made lots of deep sounding sounds - not sure how to describe them. It just happened & after the contraction I though I'm making my sounds now dd will be born soon ans she was.

For DD1 I think I was quiet (tired, drugged, really not there at all) possibly not actually pushing either...and it took me alot of thinking about that birth to get it into perspective (which is maybe where you are OP?)

DD2 (gas only very fast much pain) shouty shouty shouty! The midwife did ask (I stress ask) me if I was OK and I said in my best telephone voice "oooh yes it does help to vocalise don'ch'know" and went back to shouty shouty shouty.

Some people (my mother) do seem to think it's a point of pride to bear the pain stoically and she was MORTIFIED to hear that I'd been making noises.

I very much doubt there is any actual evidence about using the energy you use screamin to help with pushing. It will actually be all about our feminine cultural norms like being quiet and unassuming and ladylike in public. Plus the residue from religious/medical historic way of thinking that women should bear the pain of childbirth without relief (because we are atoning for leading Adam astray or something). And we should all thank Queen Victoria for starting to end that little piece of nasty thinking. (She took the new anasthetic I think during the birth of one of her children and thus made it suddenly respectable to actually try to alieviate pain in childbirth). God I'm rambling sorry OP sorry.

When me and DH were in triage, a lady was wheeled past in obviously late stages in a lot of pain, and was making a lot of noise, midwife commented and I said to DH "I dont think I would ever make that much noise, I'm just not that sort of person", how the midwife must have laughed!! Fast forward three hours, and when DD was crowning, DH has told me I let out an almighty yell with each push, cant remember it, as think your body just takes over, I couldn't have NOT pushed, or been quiet, and tbh, you do whatever you need to to get through it, DH reminds me of my smug comments often BTW....

This is my main reason for wanting a homebirth this time. I could hear the women screaming in the rooms on both sides. Very offputting. Ok if just while pushing out but not good if for hours on end.

I think this is the hospitals fault for not having good sound insulation but don't want to risk this again!

Once I was on the gas I didnt give a s**t if they could hear me in Timbuktu. No one seemed particularly bothered, guess they hear it all the time. The worst thing I did was tell a midwife to F off after she said my face was as red as a turkey cock's, not the best thing to say to a woman in agony methinks, but I was mortified when told about it later..she forgave me btw lol

i was swearing a lot and sceamed a couple of times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! could of killed my mv when she broke my waters. that was SOOOOOOOOO painful. i did say sorry afterwards and she said i did very well!!! i now have 2 lovely sons

I had a homebirth and was very pleased of it, as I moooo mooo moooo ed until the cows came home. I think it was mainly during the last couple of cm and the pushing, but it might have been all through labour - really guttural, Amazonian like sounds. Screaming would be a bit scary for MWs I think - but still - I would expect them to be used to it and not say anything - silly mares.

I can't remember much about DD's birth, totally drugged up and still in denial about the whole traumatic thing (44 hours, back to back labour, cord round neck, bed collapsed whilst epidural in...)
DS was much easier - 82 minutes! Although I do recall telling the MW very loudly to "fuck right off" when she suggested it was time to stop using the gas and air. I was determined not to scream, so just clenched my teeth and heard myself emitting an increasingly high-pitched squeally "eeeeeeeeee!" as DS was emerging.
The woman in the next-door room went through the whole spectrum, starting at a loud, deep moooing, progressing to an "aaargh, aaaaaaarghhhh! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!" and sounded like someone had just administered a red-hot poker!.
My midwife, a dyed-in-the-wool cockney with a brilliant sense of humour just exchanged glances at me at my neighbour and loudly announced:
"go on, luv, 'ave a baaaaybeee!!!".
Certainly momentarily distracted me from my own efforts!

I cant believe your mid wifes told you to shut up either my one was too scared of me but didnt ask me and I screamed the wards down, I also hear a girl giving birth in the labour suite next to me at stupid oclock in the morning and she screamed (made me nervous), I was five days in labour and in the end had to be enduced, the only thing that was a negative was my mid wife kinda got annoyed because I wasnt listening to her telling me to push/stop pushing, I just pushed cause I felt my body telling me to plus I was completely away with it on all the drugs, I must have sucked the gas and air dry, in the end I had to be cut to get him out because his heart rate was dipping and I was tired, I think everyone is different, some people have strong thresholds so I wouldnt dwell on it too much, I was saying the weirdest things like "Tinky winky was gay" and " we are to boot santa clause in the baws" now thats a cringe!

I shouted 'No! No!' while crowning with no2. Felt totally out of control/splitting in half (no epidural, gas and air taken away, as they do....)

This is why I had an epidural top up immediately before pushing with no. 3, against suggestion of midwife and Dr Yes, it may have taken a tad longer but I wasn't out of control and panicky. I just squeaked a bit with the effort.

I remember one really mean midwife who came in right at the end, took my gas and air away and told me to stop screaming and 'push from your bum, not from your throat!' I was so angry DD came shooting out with the next push and I got 2nd degree tears!

I wonder if they do it to spur you on, as in make you more angry so you think 'I'll show her who's not pushing...' It worked with me anyway, and no I don't feel bad about it - I was having a baby for christ's sake!!

During the final stages of child birth, women have a very distinctive scream that can't be replicated.

I remember, the final two pushes I could hear someone screaming and I thought to myself "goodness me someone is screaming loudly", only to realise it was me! I had no control over it, and I don't believe I was screaming because of pain.

I have this theory that when you are doing to last two big contractions, your body produces the scream not you. I believe your body does the last two contractions yanking everything down including your diaphragm and producing those all mighty distinctive screams.

To be honest, I wouldn't have cared at all if a midwife told me to hush, I had more important things on my mind.

I was in a (to quote Jim Morrison) "Roman wilderness of pain" with DS, and was v quiet until the epidural worked, then I was nice and perky, asking for coffee and chatting about the NHS with the student midwife.
The woman in the room opposite was doing it au naturel - not even G&A, and was really going for it. Operatic shrieking which crested and died away, and I remember thinking - from the cosiness of my numbed nethers - that she was really brave, and when it stopped and there was a baby crying, I got quite emotional.
I don't think it does scare other people - you feel as if you're in it together - if you notice it at all.
With DD, last April, it was a 5-hour job from start to finish, with only an hour in hospital before she was out.
The final 3 (or was it 4?) pushes to get her out, after my waters went, I just found myself toking on the G&A, then letting out a big "HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!". After the first "Haaahahh", I thought, as the next push built "Do that Hahhh! thing again, tha' were good, tha'" in a very northern accent. I suspect I may even have thought out loud .
It gave me something to focus on. I'm not embarrassed at all - what I am embarrassed about was, before my waters went and I must have been in a v short transition - is repeatedly saying "I need her out, pull her out. I don't want another one (ie Cx) like that."
I wouldn't say I was out of control with the sound, but I HAD to make it, IYSWIM, and if one of the 2 brilliant MWs I had with me told me not to, I'd have just disregarded her.

zjml - your post sounds exactly like my labour with dd2 - last 2 pushes and this almost unearthly sound came out of me that I've no idea how it happened! Sounded like a really gutteral, deep down half-shout/half scream sort of noise - I remember thinking "was that me?"! I can still remember the sound of it now (dd2 is 7!). However, with dd3 I don't think I made any noises/shouting other than telling dh "ithurtsithurtsithurts"!! I remember visiting a friend who had just a cs when a woman in the delivery suite was shouting and screaming - my fiend turned to me with a look of sheer horror and panic on her face and said "what is that woman doing in there?" "Giving birth" says me !!

I think the whole 'put your energy into pushing not screaming' is pants.
Screaming isn't really that energetic. It's not high up there on the calorie-burners - you don't get shedloads of points at ww for screaming. And haven't these people ever seen a weightlifter grunting at the Olympics? "Put your energy into your arms, not your throat".

I can't really comment on the noise aspect as had, pretty much, a pain-free birth so I didn't make any noise. I was induced at term + 12 and he was back to back but although I had some cramping, I got the epidural at about 4cm and so never really felt it. My back was seriously damaged though and have been on painkillers and in physio ever since! (ds is 13 weeks today). So no get out of jail free card, sadly.

I screamed when she pushed the last centimetre of cervix over babys head, I've had 5 babies and I have never felt pain like that Ever.

She also kept saying don't lose it now in a very matter of fact level toned voice, If I could have got up I would of strangled her.

1,3 and 5 were really bad, 2 and 4 were really good, but that puching the cervix was the worst.

And no I didn't give a f%$£ but I think my sister dh were embarrased though