Anyone else scream during childbirth? Did you feel embarrassed afterwards?

[FrozenNorth]

I've posted my birth story here before (HERE) and am really grateful for all your comments.

This is really a follow-on question: basically, does anyone else feel bad about making a lot of noise during delivery? I can't work out if this is a normal thing to feel ashamed of or whether it might signal that perhaps something is going on for me psychologically (have been wondering about PND but just not sure).

DD arrived in 3 pushes without any pain relief. During that time the midwives very sternly told me to stop screaming, calm down and start pushing. Problem is, I was pushing but couldn't help screaming at the same time - it bloody hurt, and I was really scared given that I'd only just been told that I was a) in established labour and b) about to have a baby. I really wish one of them had just said that it was okay to make noise if I had to. Instead they seemed to be trying to make me quieten down for the sake of the other women in the delivery suite.

I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here other than has anyone else found themselves screaming during labour and if so how did your health care provider react to it?

No I was silent, but gasped at the end of each push. I made a hell of a lot of noise during labour though. Am not embarrassed - it bloody well hurt! I would have told the MWs where to go... Sorry its still affecting you

'have fleeting moments of being embarrassed I adopted such a dark ages position'

mrsgboring same here! I was so knackered after hours of being made to push when DS wasn't in quite the right place, the relief when I lay down was total I had continuous foetal monitoring as well, and loved it. No more MWs fannying around with the bloody radar stick.

i screamed as spent 2 blardy hours pushing my baby out!! i deserved to scream out!! i remember one lady was screaming sooo loud down the corridor that i was sure they left the delivery suite door open ...

BUT how can you NOT scream!! as i couldnt!!

I screamed, and swore a lot, with DS2 (had epidural with DS1 so non applicable!). In fact at one point DH left the room to go to the toilet, got lost and walked into the wrong room on the way back, because he was following the screaming sounds, and in fact it was a different woman!

I screamed like a banshee at the end. So much I hurt my throat. It hurt and it made me feel better. Nobody told me off (that I remember) and I had a very fast, very violent labour so it was to be expected I reckon.

I am not embarrassed that I screamed, but know exactly what you mean as I must have been VERY loud as the midwife said 'maybe you should put a bit more effort into pushing, rather than screaming'!!!

I made a low gutteral sound.
Then some shouting.

Reg told me to push the sound down with DC1, as it was doing me no favours. I think he had a point tbh. All my energy was going out of my mouth.

Groaned with DC2.

No screaming with first baby, just made cow noises & was embarrassed. With second arrived in hospital at 9 cms dilated just as waters broke. Baby was born within half an hour but labour went from being very managable to very fast & furious & I screamed with every contraction things like 'you are killing me', 'this baby is killing me'. Between contractions I would pay attention to the Midwife calmly telling me to quieten down & would say 'yes yes I will put my chin on my chest', 'yes I will stop screaming'. But I actually took no notice & I'm not embarrassed at all. It was fantastic. It was not fantastic that my DP was on his mobile letting people listen to me though.

No. Not a sound. Didn't open my eyes from start to finish, either :-)

I howled like a banshee. Went from 3cm to 10cm in 30 minutes, so I would have liked to see anyone stop me TBH. For me it was a) bloody painful b) vaguely comforting to be expressing how I felt with such abandon.

I wonder if there is any actual, y'know, evidence that not screaming helps you put more effort into things. I've heard a lot of women say 'midwife told me to put effort into pushing rather than screaming and she was right' and indeed they always do have their babies shortly afterwards... but what evidence is there that things go slower for a screamer?

I guess I'm influenced here by not feeling I pushed my baby out at all - my uterus expelled the baby quite efficiently and what I did or didn't do appeared to have very little effect. Is there any actual need to push? What would happen if you were unconscious, e.g. under chloroform like Queen Victoria used to be?

LOL at embarrassment over unfashionable birth position - my sister is a big fan of stirrups in childbirth as she felt they gave her something to push against - not a Sheila Kitzinger approach I guess!

Nope, no screaming at all. I did grunt loudly when trying to push with the horrible artificial contractions the drip inflicted on me, as I lay, like a beetle on it's back. The bloody Dr told me to "be quiet" because I was "wasting my energy". I managed not to tell her to fuck off, but I'm not sure how!!

No noise at all bar some mooing with DD2, but I was at home, so it was all much calmer and easier.

I screamed the place down and was also told off for doing so by my MWs. I was told I was going to hurt my voice and also (get this!) that "screaming is what you do when you're frightened - and you're not frightened." - like she knew!
I also had to wait 2 hours for an epidural & was in unbearable agony so don't feel guilty even for a second for howling - nor should anyone!

Just asked my dh who confirmed there was loads of bellowing and shouting and ungrammatical swearing "I've had F*ing ENOUGH!" is one I remember, but no screaming as such - DD was OP, I was being induced and monitored and having IV anti-biotics (because waters had gone long before) and it was fantastically painful, especially as I was completely immobile. But yes, for whatever reason (and I am not someone who usually gets things massively out of proportion) I do regularly revisit that birth experience and cringe, nearly six years on. I certainly felt very embarrassed in the few months afterwards even though my wonderful sister who was there and is a GP who has witnessed many births kept telling me that I had made a very average amount of fuss (I still dont believe her). I cant explain why, but there it is. When DS came along 15 months later and turned out to be breech requiring a CS my main emotion was disappointment that I could not make amends for my earlier poor "performance". Mad I know.

I just asked DH (a doctor) whether doctors or MWs are taught to tell women not to scream during childbirth, and he said yes. I then asked him whether there was any evidential basis for this and he said no, other than the theoretical possibility that screaming reduces the level of intra-abdominal pressure that the woman can muster, and hence reduces the force of the push.

My issue with this idea is that, as a pp said, your body pretty much pushes out the baby on its own initiative - I couldn't have stopped pushing if you paid me. It was a bit like throwing up (sorry for such a horrible analogy but it's true!) in that it felt like an irresistable urge over which I had no control. Indeed, I was trying with everything I had NOT to push too hard in order to save my perineum.

Laughed a lot at the pp whose mother leapt onto her husband's balls. Classic ...

I roared and roared as loud as I could. Not embarrassed in the least.

But if anyone heard the post-birth pile-ridden poos afterwards I'd be mortified!

I made this weird, gutteral bellowing noise with my contractions. The midwife was actually laughing at me at one point, and told me that if I sang like that all the way through my throat would be raw.

I did carry on like that, and she was totally spot on - I felt like I'd swallowed acid - but I wouldn't have shut up for anyone. I felt like it actually helped me, odd as that sounds.

My throat was sorer than my nether regions afterwards tbh. Loving the mooing descriptions as that sounds exactly what I did, between screams!

"I wonder if there is any actual, y'know, evidence that not screaming helps you put more effort into things."

Good point, choosyfloosy!

Does anyone know?

I labour and deliver veyr noisily. I groan, moan, sing (yes!) and moo like a cow. At a certain point apparently I sond like I am having very good sex. Bloody doesn't feel like it!

The noises just come out of me. Being silent does not hlep me. Making noises helps. I don' want to scream because that feels like too much uncontrolled, too close to panic, too close to losing focus.

No I am not embarrased. No more than I am of the positins I take up, or of pooing in labour. It happens.

I did once get a lecture from a dr when I was shouting, but although others find it outrageous that htat happened, I found it exactly what I needed to get mysefl back together again.

From the way I see it - if you felt the need, you had every right to do so - no-one, midwives included, has the right to tell you to quieten down or whatever - they were only thinking of the other women on the ward, but that doesn't mean it was wrong for you to express yourself in that way.
Not your fault that many of us women have to give birth with a load of other women at the same time, in a totally unfamiliar environment, with limited staff to take care of them; if you think about it - it's a completely unnatural scenario, so don't feel bad; you did what you had to do and you got a (hopefully) healthy daughter out of it

I was a screamer too with DD. I don't feel bad about it at all, the noise just came out it wasn't a conscious choice.
I screamed when still on the ward, the pethidine had worn off and the gas and air was sitting outside my room but during the shift change I'd been forgotten about. They got the gas and air in pretty quick when I started screaming so I see it as a result!
Then later on in the delivery suite I was screaming. I got fully dilated but DD got stuck so I did end up with emcs and I was begging them to get 'it' out of me. I'd been pushing unsuccessfully for 2 hours. I screamed a lot. MW did suggest I focused my energy on pushing not screaming but I asked her if she was like Tom Cruise and thought that a silent birth was best. I really couldn't help the screaming.
On the post natal ward they were talking about there being a lot of noise (screaming) that afernoon - I just laughed and admitted that it was me!
FrozenNorth please, please don't feel bad about making a noise. Do you think a debrief would help ?

I swore and swore using every word under the sun, aimed directly at the midwife for a good hour until the epidural went in ! When I was calm again, I apologised and said "but I'm sure you've heard it all before" and she said "well actually no ! I have never heard such language before" !!

Both times, I ended up doing this really deep roar whilst pushing, like I was possessed, so embarrassing, I'll try not to this time, but I'll probably do it again :-(