Anyone else scream during childbirth? Did you feel embarrassed afterwards?

[FrozenNorth]

I've posted my birth story here before (HERE) and am really grateful for all your comments.

This is really a follow-on question: basically, does anyone else feel bad about making a lot of noise during delivery? I can't work out if this is a normal thing to feel ashamed of or whether it might signal that perhaps something is going on for me psychologically (have been wondering about PND but just not sure).

DD arrived in 3 pushes without any pain relief. During that time the midwives very sternly told me to stop screaming, calm down and start pushing. Problem is, I was pushing but couldn't help screaming at the same time - it bloody hurt, and I was really scared given that I'd only just been told that I was a) in established labour and b) about to have a baby. I really wish one of them had just said that it was okay to make noise if I had to. Instead they seemed to be trying to make me quieten down for the sake of the other women in the delivery suite.

I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here other than has anyone else found themselves screaming during labour and if so how did your health care provider react to it?

OP - I think you are right that your continued concern about this says something.

What happens in the room stays in the room IYSWIM

I roared, I pooed, and didn't care then and only slightly embarrassed about the latter on reflection. Perhaps more comfortable with it because it was a HB??

You shouldn't feel ashamed of anything you do or don't say or do during birth. Have you talked to your birth partner about it? I'm sure they are proud of you.

I can't believe any of you were told not to scream, I agree with the lady who quoted Nike... Just Do It whatever you feel you need to do to get the job done!
I'm sure it's different for all of us, no-one can say what you are going through and how you should react...and no! you should definitely not be embarrased afterwards...even little bo peep, you just have an even better story to tell []

P.s. No that doesn't mean I screamed loads... I intended to be silent , but i'm sure I grunted plenty as I pushed, who wouldn't?

You did it with no pain relief??? I'm sure I screamed and I had gas and air and diamorphine. But, yeah, I'm embarrassed that I had so much pain relief and still screamed. Be proud that you did it. And with no pain relief. I wish I could have done that...

quidsinn Why be embarrassed about what pain relief you had? We're all different and you had what you needed for your labour. I wouldn't say you had 'so much' pain relief either.

As for the OP...I didn't scream; I bellowed, REALLY loudly, like a cow or a moose. And in between each contraction, I felt really sheepish and embarrassed and wondered what the mws and OH thought. Nobody passed comment though.

I was also inexplicably embarrassed about holding onto the end of the hose that was in the birthing pool. I remember clutching it during a contraction, because I felt like I needed to, and then apologising to the midwife. I think I said something like 'I don't know why I'm holding onto this...how silly of me, I'm sorry'

Another one who mooed like a cow through both my labours. The MWs were fab and didn't tell me to be quiet at all. Surprising really as I they were both back-to-back, incredibly painful and I laboured on the ante-natal ward with DS...... all the women around me were in for severe morning sickness and it was the middle of the day and they all had visitors.....

MW was going to examine me and I was at the really strong painful stage. I apologised in advance that I might shout at them tbut that I didn't mean it and they were lovely really! They both laughed their socks off - they were indeed lovely and I didn't really abuse them at all - but did do plenty of screaming and mooing

I didn't exactly scream as in 'high-pitched wail' but when the doctor came in to perform a much resented ventouse and leaned over my naked body to shake hands (!!) by means of introduction with my husband I shot him down with a furious look before screaming 'THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR NICETIES'...

I kept shouting 'Im going to die and F**king hell'......for about 2 hours of final stage (very fast labour).....couldn't help myself-much sobbing and groaning too, it was DC2 following 3rd degree with DS (so extra scared of tearing) and no pain relief so smarted a little...also asked midwife to pull baby out when head was there, to which she calmly said I needed a contraction to get rest of body out, so I lied and said I was having one......she of course said I should stop being silly and concentrate..........then DD arrived (and was worth every second)

Anyway, not too embarassed.......just felt sorry for all the quiet C section ladies they had that night that were probably thanking their lucky stars they weren't in my noisey foul mouthed shoes!

I would say it's very natural and you must never bad about it!! Am sure you acted with much more decorum than I did!

Screamed the place down. Had 4 midwives trying to calm me down. Didn't care to feel ashamed at all. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Also pooed myself. Felt slightly ashamed about that one.

Well hey we know that we are all different! Go with the flow; you do not have a choice when it comes to giving birth because for once the sub-conscious brain is in fact running the show - it has to. I had two mega fast births (First stage happened unnoticed) with no pain and remained silent - I don't even recall about an hour of my first 'labour'. Probably screaming does take valuable energy and one might be more knackered later and in a hospital it can upset other mums (midwives don't seem bothered but then they are used to it aren't they?)and of course one's partner tends to feel helpless anyway so it might give him a complex....In the event though you just react!

I roared with every push - the MW made me lie on my back with my legs in the air, so it was bloody hard work, and roaring helped. I kept apologising to DH in between and explaining it wasn't pain, it just helped. The MW wouldn't let me have G&A for the pushing stage either - don't know if that's usual.

Lost my voice for about two days.

I've always felt that only a very tiny bit of my brain is working in labour, and I have no real control or awareness of what is going on, and I would have thought that making an effort to stop/start screaming would have been quite distracting - so it would be better to let your body do what it needs to. It is highly possible to misinterpret what other people, who have got large parts of the brain working, are thinking/saying/doing.

I reckon you're spot on there musicalmum I think it's a primitive part of the brain that is functioning during labour meaning it might not be possible to think rationally or even to 'think' at all, in any normal sense of the word. That's probably why having minimum disruption, lights turned down low etc. can help a labour to progress. You have to sort of go into yourself, don't you?

Gosh I remember screaming like I was about to be murdered. I gave birth using gas and air only so felt every pain coursing through my body. I feel no shame in screaming at the top of my lungs, it helped me to push and although I felt sorry for everyone who had to listen to it including my DH I'm glad I was able to express myself and the pain I was feeling that way.

Strangely enough my DD is not a crying screaming baby, I might be lucky but I have a sneaky suspicion that my screaming during birth made her a calm serene baby

musicalmum, that sums it up brilliantly and would explain why my (admittedly relatively easy) 9 hour labour, in retrospect, seems to have only lasted a fraction of that.

FWIW, I did some nice grunting which the MW advised me to stop doing so as to be able to concentrate better on pushing (unfortuantely she was right). Screaming might have interrupted my G&A intake and there was no way I was going to let that happen!

MWs who tell women that they are "scaring" other patients are twunts. The wailing banshees in the ward didn't bother me, I felt bloody sorry for them as they were obviously having a much harder time of it than I did. DH was a bit freaked though, the wuss

No screaming but growled and mooed like something out of "Where the Wild THings Are."

nope I didnt scream , I was pretty much silent, not Katie Holmes scientology silent, I just dont moan and groan when I have any kind of pain. I was 6 cm and in so much pain, I just cried a bit silently on DH's shoulder. I was very calm and so tired because I had been having minor contractions for days and hadnt slept. I had EMCS after more than 24 hours labour and DD heartrate fluctuating and getting distressed. If I had been vocal, I wouldnt have felt embarassed about it at all.

Once I started I couldn't stop - I wailed and sobbed profusely. I'm not remotely ashamed - I needed to at the time, I was in pain and really quite upset about it all. I remember hearing the midwives talking about me in the third person which was odd - Musical Mum is spot on, you do kind of retreat into a primitive frame of mind which is remote from RL.

yes i did at crowning and no I didnt feel embarrassed

i absolutely screamed my head off with DD1&3; esp in last stages. mainly because i was really scared.
dd2 happened to fast for me to panic, like i was with the other two.

I believe I made a fair amount of noise during the pushing stage. I was at it for 3 and a half hours though and DS was back to back so it was bloody hard work. My contractions stopped almost completely as well so my pushing was doing all the work in the end. His head was showing for 3 hours - talk about frustrating! I totally went "into the zone" and it didn't feel like those unearthly noises were coming from me at all. The stupid consultant told me to stop making a noise and focus on pushing - my MW told her to F off basically. It was definitely, definitely helping me to push, not taking up extra energy.

As for screaming, that only happened once when I was 6 cm dilated (it so turned out) and was still being denied pain relief.

I don't feel embarrassed about either. As far as I'm concerned it's a blardy miracle I got DS out at all without intervention, and I reckon the noises helped with that. Isn't there a "birthing noise" that the natural birth gurus encourage us to find and go with? That's what I did, I think.

Ha ha! It appears the entire midwifery profession is more concerned with throats than fanjos ("you must stop making that terrible noise, you'll have an awfully sore throat tomorrow!")

I had a fast labour, was 7cm dilated less than 2 hours after my first contraction. Started hyperventilating in the assessment ward, couldn't stop it though I was trying my best to calm down. Then the MW wheeled in gas and air unannounced, probably because I was clutching the bedhead and wailing with each contraction(I was a displaced homebirth in for a check who didn't get home again).

A few hours later (after having been sent off to the midwives unit, then the labour ward and finally theatre[DD got stuck])I was being wheeled into the post-natal ward and I swear (and i only had gas and air and a spinal, nothing more mind-altering) that I heard a passing MW say to a colleague "Oh, that's the screamer from the XY ward" I thought it terribly rude. Let's face it, one of us had been trying to pass a melon through our frou-frou for 12 hours that day and it certainly wasn't her!