Anyone else scream during childbirth? Did you feel embarrassed afterwards?

[FrozenNorth]

I've posted my birth story here before (HERE) and am really grateful for all your comments.

This is really a follow-on question: basically, does anyone else feel bad about making a lot of noise during delivery? I can't work out if this is a normal thing to feel ashamed of or whether it might signal that perhaps something is going on for me psychologically (have been wondering about PND but just not sure).

DD arrived in 3 pushes without any pain relief. During that time the midwives very sternly told me to stop screaming, calm down and start pushing. Problem is, I was pushing but couldn't help screaming at the same time - it bloody hurt, and I was really scared given that I'd only just been told that I was a) in established labour and b) about to have a baby. I really wish one of them had just said that it was okay to make noise if I had to. Instead they seemed to be trying to make me quieten down for the sake of the other women in the delivery suite.

I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here other than has anyone else found themselves screaming during labour and if so how did your health care provider react to it?

Very difficult NOT to scream during the actual delivery. I don't think I would have really heard if anyone had told me to be quiet

I do remember boasting a bit earlier on about going to 'pregnancy yoga'. During the delivery my midwife said 'well what do you think of the pregnancy yoga now?' to which apparently I replied 'what a load of bollocks!'

With DD1 I screamed three or four times during transition and it really relieved the pain - it must be the way you let yourself go that relaxes you, I suppose. DH was a bit worried but no-one else seemed to mind. I had a Doula who was very encouraging in that I'd have to do it my way and if I wanted to be noisy, then I should be.

With DD2 I did a bit of mooing / chanting at about 6-7 cms (I knew by then that I was going to have a CS but was left to labour so I didn't really want to dilate, if that makes sense, which I think made the pain worse as I was tensing up) and apparently the MWs exchanged some looks like they wanted to say I was being a complete wimp. This is according to DH, who was embarrassed about my mooing. So I am embarrassed too, because of the feedback I had.

I think the jist of my post is - whether you feel bad about how you behaved in labour may depend on the feedback you got from the MWs and DH. Which is why it's so important that they are encouraging and appreciative of your efforts at all times. Nobody should be made to feel that they're not doing 'the right thing' during birth.

I am that there are midwives who tell women not to scream. I had no control over the strange wild animal noises that came from me - they were ripped from me and I couldn't have stopped them. But no, I didn't feel embarrassed afterwards.

And I found it quite comforting hearing other women on the ward scream, too - you don't feel quite so alone

It must be MWs who haven't given birth themselves, surely.

Yes, I did scream very loud and never was told off by my midwife, but other midwifes was coming to room to complaine and said that theirs patients not happy.

I have absolutely no idea what noise I made during childbirth. However, the midwife told me to 'stop making that noise because you will hurt your throat'.

Daft woman. Like I could give a stuff about hurting my throat.

FFS - why would you be embarrassed - are we supposed to be silent, sweet smelling, happy and compliant even in child birth?? wow.

Definitely screamed during transition / pushing. Again no way that I could stop it. I can't believe that it affected pushing - had no control over that at all. I was screaming and my body was pushing. It does put me off a home birth in a way - at least in a labour ward screams are expected. Would be more embarrassed seeing neighbours after. Porc - I was screaming 'get it out' just before DD2 was born - where were you?!

With DS1 I had been pushing for 2 hours when they got the forceps out, I screamed so loudly when they pulled him out that I had a husky voice and a sore throat for several days after the birth. My DD was 10lbs 11oz and was delivered by ventouse in the operating theatre after I had been prepped for an EMCS under general, I had been in labour for 24 hours by then and at 9cm dilated and not allowed to push for 2 hours. I screamed so loudly with each contraction that the midwife from the next room came and asked mine to give me more pethidine as I was upsetting her patient. She was unable to comply as I had already had the maxiumum she could give me. I had DS2 delivered by EMCS after a failed induction, with a failed epidural at 38 weeks, although I was in agony all I could do was lie and weep, I don't think screaming would make any difference one way or the other and nobody should make you feel embarassed or guilty for screaming, I couldn't have stopped myself.

I did scream, and was told by the midwives to stop so I could use all my energy to push. For me, it worked...I wasn't focusing because I was screaming. I didn't feel offended by this as it helped me.

My midwives were very bossy but immediately became lovely after ds was born, and apologised for telling me off! They just knew all the tricks to get me to push him out, as I was in a midwife led unit and literally minutes away from being transferred to hospital by ambulance.

I did feel a bit embarrassed when I realised how much you could hear from the ward, but only in an "OMG I can't believe everyone heard me howling" sort of way - not in a genuinely ashamed way. I heard someone else making similar noises the next night and found myself lying there willing it all to be alright for her.

With DS1, I shouted and swore really quite horrendously, for hours. And cried very loudly too. I DEFINITELY disturbed everyone else - someone else from my NCT group was in the same evening and later confessed she had heard all

My top tip is if you think you're going to be loud, plan something constructive, or at least clean to say. DS2 was another hospital birth but most of the very long labour at home and only left home 20 mins before he arrive. My parents and toddler DS2 were about throughout, which made me a bit more inhibited about the language! Worked out that counting backwards from 100 much less offensive than swearing, and also gave sense of progress through each contraction. At a medium pace, could feel most contractions peaking at about low 80s and receding by 60s. But my Mum later said she was nearly in tears when she sometimes heard me starting at high volume on the second 100!!

That's toddler DS1 - didn't actually give birth to a toddler thank god

During the second stage I didn't scream - I went very much into myself concentrating on pushing through the agony of each wave of pain (and going a rather alarming shade of purple according to DH ).

I don't remember her saying it, but DH says that the MW was telling me to vocalise the pain rather than completely internalising it. So some MW are keen for you to make a bit of row when needed

I did, a lot, at home, with the windows open, the whole street heard her being born, no birth announcement necessary.
At the time my lovely midwife was telling me to stop screaming mainly because I wasn't breathing properly or pushing, I was just screaming because my eyes were popping out with pain and that really wasn't going to get a baby out.
I wasn't embarrased although I did make my husband go round and explain to next door who had only moved in the day before. Luckily new neighbour was a HV so was very understanding!

With first one, i did not make single noise, and it took me 6 and half hours from start to birth.
Second time, i did some good screaming and ds popped out in 15min. I know, people always say, second one is easier. But i felt like first time around the screaming lacked.
There was no swearing and rude words, i promise. But heard next door lady did loads swearing, sounded like she about to kill her dh or dp.

p.s. I didn't mean to have the windows open, it was all VERY quick and everyone was baby catching rather than worrying about windows. Curtains were closed though!
1st birth very quiet but I think that was because I'd had pethedine and was zombified.

I wasn't a screamer - I was a moo-er Didn't and don't feel at all embarrassed. More embarrased that I was totally serious when, after MW told me that I needed to get baby out soon, I told her not to be silly that she wasn't due for another 2 weeks and I had plenty of time....She told me she wasn't waiting around for 2 weeks - had DD about 2 mins later

I don't think I screamed, but I think there were some loud grunts and other assorted noises! My mws were lovely and I wasn't the slightest bit embarrased at the time.

Bit red-faced when I went to show the new arrival to the little old lady who lives downstairs though. We planned a home birth, ended up transferring to hospital at 6am after several hours of labour, and her comment was 'You did sound like you were having a bad time of it'.

I screammed "mummy daddy" (ie I wanted my mummy and daddy) DH found this very poinient.I didn't even know that I had said it.

I remember mooing at high volume with DD, my first birth. I also remember thinking "my god I can't stop mooing!" and finding it hilarious.

With my second birth it was fast and furious and DH couldn't be there with me so it was just me and the midwife. I did scream DS out when he was crowning and I remember crushing the midwife's hand. I remember apologising for screaming at this point (to my shame, using the eternal phrase "AAARGH! Get him out!" ) and she calmly replied "oh don't worry, I screamed both of mine out, do what you need to do!". How lovely!!

Didn't scream but did swear at both anaesthetists, apologised afterwards though. Also swore at DH, didn't apologise to him!

Before the birth I read this book which I found very helpful. One of the ideas in the book was that vocalising is a useful way of coping with pain and getting rid of adrenalin. So I went all for it with the shouting AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE. I discovered that I could make the radiators in the room vibrate on certain frequencies. It sort of helped me feel in control that I was making a loud noise of my own choosing, IYSWIM. Think the midwife may have suggested (nicely) that I shut up when pushing, but memory very hazy.

I remember with DC2 midwife telling me to use the energy to "push through your bottom" when i was making alot of noise.

Last week though when I gave birth they didn't bat an eyelid and I was gabbering on about needing to push, and that I was pushing the baby out (despite them trying to examine me to see if i was ready yet.

All my births, I mooed like a cow just before transition. A bit embarassing but hey, there are lots of bits of childbirth that are

apparently I shouted 'fuck' repeatedly at the top of my voice. For several hours. Meanwhile, in my head, I thought I was being absolutely silent. Labour is a very strange place indeed! (Or my head is, or quite possibly both.)