Anyone else scream during childbirth? Did you feel embarrassed afterwards?

[FrozenNorth]

I've posted my birth story here before (HERE) and am really grateful for all your comments.

This is really a follow-on question: basically, does anyone else feel bad about making a lot of noise during delivery? I can't work out if this is a normal thing to feel ashamed of or whether it might signal that perhaps something is going on for me psychologically (have been wondering about PND but just not sure).

DD arrived in 3 pushes without any pain relief. During that time the midwives very sternly told me to stop screaming, calm down and start pushing. Problem is, I was pushing but couldn't help screaming at the same time - it bloody hurt, and I was really scared given that I'd only just been told that I was a) in established labour and b) about to have a baby. I really wish one of them had just said that it was okay to make noise if I had to. Instead they seemed to be trying to make me quieten down for the sake of the other women in the delivery suite.

I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here other than has anyone else found themselves screaming during labour and if so how did your health care provider react to it?

I screamed 'jesus christ' when the nurse messed up my canula for the third time and clearly offended her. I have no idea where that came from, I never normally say it. Then when I was in labour I suddenly started shrieking 'oh gosh'!. How schoolgirl and excruciatingly embarrassing. Again, I never normally say this and usually swear like a trooper. I think I was influenced by the midwife who was very plummy....

OH THE SHAME!

coldtits why do you feel its Ok to swear at your midwife like that? granted you were in pain & you werent happy with what she said to you but its a hard job & on the whole midwives help deliver our babies safely.

There are ways & means of dealing with people but shouting & swearing at people & getting away with it just because they work for the public sector is wrong.

I think I more moaned and groaned loudly than actual screaming but I was the only one on the ward that night and could have made as much bloody noise as I wanted. Although 23hours in the midwife told me I was getting slightly hysterical and to stop sobbing. Felt a bit patronised to be honest. But not long after they brought the doctor and forceps in and dd was born after almost 24hrs. I understand the theory behind putting the energy of the scream into the push but when you're in that much pain it's hard to put into practice!!

I was mooing and started screaming when the MW told me to 'stop pushing right now, you are nowhere near ready' and 'don't be so silly, it doesn't hurt that much' (DD2 was born about 10 minutes later )

She then noticed that DD2 was crowning and said 'Oh, maybe you do need to push' to which I yelled 'no fucking SHIT sherlock'
At which point she LEFT and handed me over to another MW, who was a complete stranger.
I was scared, had never been in labour before it went really fast. She was not helpful.
Bitch.

PLEASE don't feel embarrassed, if there is ever a time to go with your feelings this is it
I think everyone needs to make some noise! I did hypnobirthing but found I made a gutteral sound during pushing which I had no control over. Serious amounts of screaming during crowning however.
DH was a bit freaked but midwives just stood me up to get DS out quicker! Anyone else give birth standing up?!

I liberally season my speech with the f word so was a bit worried I'd be swearing like a navvy during labour, but for some reason I kept saying Jeeeeeeeezuuuuuuuus in long drawn out grunty moans.

Bumblingbovine - my DH was exhausted and in tears at one point of DS2s as well. He was beside me for every contraction - looking into my eyes and letting me squeeze his hand. It all got a bit much for him - and he later admitted seeing me in pain reminded him of seeing his mother ill in hospice . I would have fallen apart without him.

No, I was silent. I also kind of 'go into myself' to deal with the pain. I didn't speak either It was like I had to 'concentrate' hard to stay in control.

At one point when they boke my waters and the pain really increased I did panic a bit and start saying 'I want to go home now' but I managed to go back into myself and spent the rest of labour silently standing holding onto the edge of the sink.

I think the whole thing seemed quite dull and drama less for Dh and the MW.

At crowning I did say 'ouch that hurts' .

It's strange as I am a rather overly expressive drama queen in life who keeps nothimg in. you can't predict your reaction.

Epidural with dd1 so didn't make a sound when she was born. Although no pain relief until 9cm and still made no sound. (Epidural due to rocketing blood pressure and baby in a bad position) Think I have a fairly high pain threshold.
Found myself involuntarily grunting at the last few pushes with dd2 though - I think I was somewhat shocked how much it hurt! Thankfully it was more like a low growl and only for a few minutes, and no, not embarrassed, more amused with myself. Agree with Brideshead I guess you can't tell in advance how you will react. Do find it difficult though to understand women screeching the place down at the first contraction.

I'm all for screaming during labour if it hurts, very cathartic. DH was very embarrassed though. I told him: my labour - I do what make ME feel better, when he's in labour he can do what the hell he wants!

Having said that, no screaming whilst pushing, waste of enegy that can be used to push.

I dont think coldtits shouted at the midwife in that way because she worked for the public sector she shouted because she she was a labouring woman who had been told to shut up. Its bad enough to tell someone to shut up normally, but to do it to someone in labour is an insult.

When having DD I roared the deep feral roar. It was great. My midwife suggested that I maybe try to concentrate on not making noise, to which I tried to do but it didnt work!
With DS I was off my head on the drugs and was apparantly repeatedly shouting for an "epi-fucking-dural" whilst crowning lmao.

no, my point is that people seem to think it is OK to shout/ swear/ threaten nurses, midwives etc & get away with it.
if the midwife had said 'fucking shut up dont you dare make that fucking noise' then fair enough but she didnt did she?
casualty on a saturday night is also full of people in pain &/ or with impaired judgement (ie pissed or on drugs) who shout & swear at nursing staff, I dont see any difference.
Shouting & swearing is one thing but dont direct it at the staff because I doubt you would like it being said to you at work.

I grunted for about 12 hours. The mw said 'you can swear if you like' to which i said (apparently) 'I don't think it will help'. No one believes this because I'm normally on the sweary side. My favourite bit was when the mw asked if i'd like to get out of the pool to have a wee and i said 'no thanks, i've had lots'. My husband was in the pool with me.

I've had 2 home births, and have always had to warn the neighbours, though. Just in case.

Whimsi - yes, god knows what the neighbours thought i was at home as well!

My3sons - frankly, i think well-trained mws take it all in their stride and that as far as i can tell, the point at which you start swearing is pretty much officially used as a marking point for a particular stage of labour - as is the point at which you start mooing/shouting (as far as i could tell by reactions to my various shouts!). the point is you DON'T swear AT the mw if she doesn't invite it by being unsympathetic, normally you're just generally swearing 'get this fucking child out of me' etc. and in any case, you are NOT in control of yourself fully during labour, and therefore should have a lot of leeway from everybody else in the room, while a mw on a professional shift of duty definitely is/should be and has no excuse.

my mum is a midwife by the way, and a very good one. would never be shocked or offended by a woman in labour swearing at/around her. it's what happens.

its not part & parcel of the job to have that sort of abuse directed at you...yes some people do generally shout & swear at the end stages of labour & may be out of their head on drugs, but there is no need to be so aggressive towards an individual member of staff.

er... i direct you towards my point about not being fully in control... i wouldn't term a woman swearing at you during labour as abuse - whether i were her partner, family member or a professional. just as i wouldn't hold it against somebody if they screamed and swore at me when i moved them with a broken leg. but i can see we might have to agree to disagree.

I was abusive to the mw in my room as she was patronising, spoke to me as if I was an idiot and had no sympathy for me at all.
DH agrees with this so it wasn't just me being all hormonal.
I had told her I had been at 3cm for days and she asked me to guess how far along I was, even when I burst into tears as I hadn't slept for 3 days she still was saying it would be funny and then told me I had no sense of humour (I was 7cm and she wouldn't give me the gas and air at first as I had 'got that far without it')

Some people should not be allowed to be mw's.

Given my time again I would swear at her twice as loudly.

No one seems to have mentioned this book - Juju Sundin's Birth Skills - has a whole section on making noise in labour as a pain management technique.

And for what it's worth, I kind of roared all the way through. Hadn't read that book - just did it. Midwife didn't seem to bat an eyelid (although if she was saying anything I probably couldn't hear her above all the noise!). Didn't feel at all embarrassed because it was so blimming painful I felt entitled to roar about it!

Think it helped. Didn't expect one of the effects the day after labour to be a sore throat!

No one seems to have mentioned this book - Juju Sundin's Birth Skills - has a whole section on making noise in labour as a pain management technique.

And for what it's worth, I kind of roared all the way through. Hadn't read that book - just did it. Midwife didn't seem to bat an eyelid (although if she was saying anything I probably couldn't hear her above all the noise!). Didn't feel at all embarrassed because it was so blimming painful I felt entitled to roar about it!

Think it helped. Didn't expect one of the effects the day after labour to be a sore throat!

I'm another one who made lots of noise but is more embarrassed about pooing than the noise. The mw told me to concentrate on pushing rather than screaming which was hard. I never thought i'd be a screamer- i don't normally make a fuss about anything.

I thought I was making a racket - sort of loud moaning/borderline sobbing in the middle of contractions. I remember being vaguely concerned about the neighbours as I staggered to the car mooing at 2am whilst in transition.

But DH has a different recollection in that he thinks I was whimpering. I am disappointed; I did not think I was the sort of woman who whimpers. I thought I would be a howler!

I did feel quite stupid for panicking when the baby became distressed (my mild-mannered MW told me to stop it in no incertain terms) but then I was bloody terrified at that point.

I was completely silent throughout - ridiculously calm for no reason at all as I was only 36 weeks when I went into labour and totally unprepared - and as the very experienced midwife hadn't attached the monitor properly, she didn't realise how far along I'd got. I was at 9cm when I finally got into the room where I delivered, having had to sit in the waiting room for three hours with no pain relief. Then I wasn't examined again until I put my hand down and felt my DS's head coming out... the MW was looking after another woman at the same time, so she basically left me to it because I wasn't making much of a fuss.

He was born in 2 pushes, literally ten seconds after she shot into the room pursued by my DH! I made one squeak of effort when I was pushing out the head. The rest was silent.

All of the MWs on shift came in to see me afterwards to find out how I'd done it since he was my first. I still have no idea. But I'm going to make more noise with the next one, I've promised myself. One-to-one care my arse. I had about two minutes of her time before he was born.

I know it's annoying to be told to shut up, but I do think you can tire yourself out with screaming if you get into that frame of mind too early on, though. You need to save it up for the end!

Don't think I screamed, managed 1st stage very calmly with hypnotherapy and TENS.
Was planning to moo my way through second stage but in reality sounded more like a demented goat.
Was using gas and air and found the mouthpiece had a strange and rather disconcerting Kazoo effect

I think it's interesting that the consensus seems to be amongst those who screamed/shouted etc that there was no way they could have stopped - so it really isn't helpful for midwives to suggest they should.

With birth of dd, I screamed like a banshee, at one point screaming 'I feel like I'm being torn apart' - a desperate plea for someone to take my pain seriously. Mw, who was lovely in every other way, did say I should try not to scream so much as it wouldn't help. But then I just felt like I was being judged - it would have been more helpful either not to mention it, or to suggest some way of alleviating intense pain.

With ds, btw, no screaming - I did hypnobirthing, which whilst by no means pain free, did mean I managed not to completely lose it like I did with dd.

i think i roared...first during the rough internal exam that had a huge contraction in the middle of it , and then when i was pushing at the end. im convinced it helped me push harder!! its kind of like egging myself on - like a really intense pep talk lol.

embarrassed? no!! a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...