At what age is it selfish to have a child?

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Just thinking if Naomi Campbell becoming a mother again at 53. What age would you say is too old? I am an older mum (not as old as Naomi Campbell though.)
At what age does it become selfish?

When you can no longer naturally have children.

As someone who had a baby aged 40, I'm not sure? I think the cut-off for me would have been about 42. I was peri-menopausal around 44/45 (if not earlier - I didn't have a period over 45) - I had two miscarriages before having our youngest and when I look back, I am amazed that I conceived three times in the run up!

I had a baby at 40.

I don’t think it’s particularly helpful to ruminate on this. Women fall pregnant later in age both with and without assistance.

My father was very old and died when I was young, but in that short time he set me up in the career I’m still in now.

I’m a slightly older mum and have been on the receiving end of some hurtful an ageist comment from my inlaws., I did try for years and lost several pregnancies, we don’t all have the luxury of choosing exactly when we reproduce.

I had my personal cut off where I wouldn't have felt comfortable having another kid (it was 37 for me).

As for anyone else, I don't really care, it's inherently selfish for anyone to have a child anyway, so very rich people having kids outwith the 'normal' age range, but having enough to set that child up for life and make sure they are well looked after isn't any different than someone with health issues having a child, or someone absolutely skint having a child. There's pros and cons to every situation.

If you need to use a surrogate.

If i conceived naturally then it is ok I suppose. I'm 50 next month so highly doubtful!

I should explain I know of women who naturally had children up to age 52. In the vast majority of cases after having lots of children.

However celebrities tend to use donor eggs and surrogates to achieve the same aim when their own fertile period ended earlier than that.

40 is young.

@Reugny so no ivf for those with infertility caused by cancer, endometriosis, poly cystic ovaries etc?

My cut off was 37.

Whenever Mother Nature stops you.

40 isn't young. It's not elderly but it's not young. It's middle-aged.

I’d say 42. And the same for men

45 is the max for me personally. that's from experience of how my healthy but still aged parents in their late 70s are and and how at about 30 you are old enough to deal with all that.. but i would find it much more difficult to be in my 20s and handling everything that comes with older parents.

Having a child is generally a very selfish act, regardless of the age of the parents. So the question should actually be 'What age is too old to have a child?". I don't know the answer, but I'd always think about how old the parents would be when the kid is 18..... that probably helps to focus the mind. And nature did not intend us to have babies at 53!

Its totally personal. I spent the whole of my 30’s trying unsuccessfully for a baby. Gave up at the start of lockdown as it didn’t feel the right time to be pregnant. It would also have meant a 7+ year gap with my older children which would have been very difficult as a family. I was 37. I’m 40 now and definitely don’t have the energy to raise another child! So for me it was 37 but my own mum had me at 38 and I have friends who’ve had babies into their 40s which was obviously fine for them.

Women in those cases don't tend to try and have IVF past the age of 45 for good reasons.

Yup 40 at most. I was 32 for my one and only DS and he was always pissed off at me being so old. Average age of first time mum in the UK is 29, so I can quite see that older parents are not very desirable from the point of view of the child!

Surely having a child at any age is selfish. No one’s doing it for anyone but themselves, are they?

Any age that you don't have the capacity to provide that child with love and stability and provided for them.
Her child might be surrounded by family and certainly won't go without.
Plenty of arseholes have children that really shouldn't have.

I had a dc at 43.2..a mmc at 44 and a mc at 48! Big shocker that!
I was ttc at 44 but def wasn't at 48!!

@Reugny They absolutely do. I was in many many support groups both online and in person and believe me, infertility, primary and secondary and it’s usually money for ivf, or menopause that ends their journey, I’ve heard many desperately sad women who are devastated their ivf journey ended, not out of choice but because of their circumstances.

I have many friends whose mothers were young and crap. My friends with ivf and later babies are desperately grateful for their babies and they are so so cherished and loved.

I think mid 40s. 52 is definitely selfish. Considering life expectancy is mid 70s then there is a good chance that they will be alone early 20s. Dhs stepdad had his half sister mid 50s. He passed away at 80 before she had children or anything. I know that not every child gets to meet grandparents, but if you have kids mid 50s you kind of guarantee it. I had my youngest dd at 31 and I felt old then.

A friend of mine had her first baby at 47 (IVF) which I personally think is too old. But, she and her husband are financially set up so have no money worries.