At what age is it selfish to have a child?

[thelengthspeoplegoto]

Just thinking if Naomi Campbell becoming a mother again at 53. What age would you say is too old? I am an older mum (not as old as Naomi Campbell though.)
At what age does it become selfish?

I’m in early stages of pregnancy at 38, my husband is 48. For us it feels perfect as we are set up in life, had the experiences we have wanted and are now ready to have a family.

I don’t believe there is an upper limit, if it feels right then that’s the right age. I completely understand that there is a risk of leaving your child at a precarious age in life but unfortunately no matter what age there will be some consideration, there is no perfect age. All we can do is ensure we have set our kid up for life as much as we can and they have an amazing family and friend support network around us should anything premature with parents to happen.

It might feel selfish to some but for us at this point in life feels right and we cannot wait to welcome our child into this world.

My personal cut off was 30 always had been. I didn't want any child dependents by 50 years of age.

I had DS when I was 24, we tried for another, however a few early miscarriages and one rather late miscarriage later when I was 28 sorta brought it all to a natural close. Then DH died suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 29 and he was 30, and yeah, that was definitely the end of the road then. 😳

Other people, meh, if you are fit, healthy, wanting to do it. Then yeah that's up to you. I'm not here to judge.

It's a badly worded question, surely having a baby is a selfish act whatever your age. You are doing it because you want a baby ... no one is seriously going to say 'I must provide some future tax payers so I better get pregnant'..

@VerasRaincoat you're right, perhaps it isn't helpful.
Being an older parent myself (42 with last child) sometimes I feel selfish and guilt over it. I'm painfully aware my children will have their parents for a shorter time that others.
I didn't have the luxury of having them younger. I wish I had.
But, like your father, I hope we can inspire and help them on their way as much as we possibly can in the time we have.
Of course, I agree with other posters, having a baby at any age, is essentially a selfish act.

When you to buy a baby

42-44 I think. I had my last at 36 but many of my friends were 38/39 with their last. I wouldn’t hVe hesitated to have tore up until 40 if I had wanted more,

💯 this

Any age.

It’s the most selfish thing you can do.

No such thing

Not sure. My dad was in his 40s when he had me and is still going strong and advising me at 85. My mother died young. So there are no guarantees.

Not to have a baby it isn't.

@thelengthspeoplegoto In answer to your question. ANY age over 40.

THAT is my opinion and my answer.

'ANY age is a selfish age to have a baby' is the daftest comment on here. Of COURSE it's not a bloody selfish thing to do (to have a baby.) The world needs babies FFS. The human race would cease to exist otherwise!

People who have babies aren’t thinking “the human race/world needs babies: I need to do my duty even though it’ll be a sacrifice. I need to be unselfish about this”.

If you can't use your own eggs and/or use a surrogate then you're too old. Biologically, 40s is old to be a parent of a newborn due to higher risks of infertility, chromosomal disorders and SEN. 40s is a normal decade to become a grandparent.

39 for me, wouldn't have wanted to go into my 40's pregnant. That's when I was facing infertility and knew I wouldn't have carried on forever. Didn't work out that way, however, finished having children by my early 30's :)

There are recently many selfish men in their 80’ that seem to think it’s ok. But of course women are judged more harshly at half their age

Selfish for who though?

She used a surrogate didn't she? I'd saying buying babies is wrong at any age......

What's the point of being alive at a time when medical science has made so much possible, if you're going to limit yourself to what 'nature allows,' as if nature is a conscious force? Women can have babies into their fifties now, and more power to us. I may end up doing so myself (donor eggs obviously.) Life expectancy for women in the UK is currently 83, and where I live is higher. Average age of a first time mother is 31 and will only keep increasing. More women having babies over 40 and into 50s all the time. A lot of people here have very outdated statistics, and ideas.

In my family it's common to live into your 90s, so while there are no guarantees, I'm not worried. Better an older parent in the right situation than a younger one who's not ready. A lot of the people I know who had children in their 20s really weren't.

Al Pacino (89?) would disagree.

Congratulations!!!!

89 like Al Pacino.

that is amazing news. good for you.

Selfish? I'm not sure about the concept of selfishness when it comes to having children. It's hard work! I had my 2nd DC when I was 40 and he's now 19. Personally, I wouldn't have wanted to be any older than 40.