At what age is it selfish to have a child?

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Just thinking if Naomi Campbell becoming a mother again at 53. What age would you say is too old? I am an older mum (not as old as Naomi Campbell though.)
At what age does it become selfish?

Well said ❤️

Urgh the -it's selfish at any age- posts are so pointless. That's not the question here. You are clearly asking when is it less likely to be good for the child to have parents at x age, acknowledging disaster and ill health can happen to any parent at any age, but becomes more likely with age.
For me I didn't want it past 32. I have a lot of friends who have had them at 38-39, my reaction is- not for me but think it's fine.
Those just over 40 my reaction is, you are pushing your luck a bit.
44 plus I do think is selfish in the sense that you are 100% putting your 'need' for a(nother) baby above what's most likely best for a child.
Anything pushing 50 I think definitely unfair as you are much more likely to die at a point where it feels too soon for your child

I had one at 42. I had my first at 29 so a big gap. We did consider having another straight away because of that but my husband left so am glad that I didn't. I still get the broods occasionally but I'm nearly 54. I think 45 would have been my cut off.

If it bothers you there’s also the social demographic where you live. Here middle class first time mums are mid 30s plus. Have to say I think it’s not a valid consideration, but some do. Honestly, the real answer is what feels right/when it happens/make the best whenever if you are in luck because it’s about doing your best with whatever situation you are in and loving the DCs

When I had my first, the lady in the next bed had just had her 4th. I'm not sure what age she was but I think she was under 40. She had three girls, probably teens or near it, and then she had a baby boy. Her husband had had the snip and it hadn't worked. She was still devastated when the baby had been born. I do wonder sometimes what became of him. She had a c/section and was sterilised after the birth. Poor child, being so unwanted.

Is that for children born today? What is it for children born when you were?

Oh come off it. I'm sure he grew up just fine like his sisters.

This is an excellent point.
I have now spent a happy 10 minutes using the average life expectancy calculator for everyone I know.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/lifeexpectancies/bulletins/pastandprojecteddatafromtheperiodandcohortlifetables/1981to2068

Based on that calculator, I as a 41 year old woman have a life expectancy of 87. With a one in four chance of living til 96. Which, as several of my grandparents and great grandparents lived into their 90s, I'm pretty optimistic about.

@WasJuliaRight thank you! 😘Some people are just enormously averse to anyone living a life different from their own I guess.

There's also this:

https://time.com/4673035/do-the-child-free-live-longer/

'But this isn’t the first time research has shown a link between a later pregnancy and a longer life. A study, published in Menopause in January 2015, found women who had their last kid after 33 had double the chance of living to 95 or older as opposed to those who had their last one by 29. Another study showed women who gave birth after 40 were four times more likely to live to be a 100 years old.'

Sorry, wrong link above, although that article also contains evidence that women who give birth later may live longer. The quote above is from

https://www.parents.com/news/giving-birth-later-in-life-could-mean-you-live-longer-according-to-a-new-study/#:~:text=Another%20study%20showed%20women%20who,that%20contribute%20to%20living%20longer.

@PP82 I wonder if this is due to social and economic status and not the fact you have children later? As in older mothers are more likely to have more money/better careers which usually means longer lives.

A good thing anyway!

If you look at the articles you'll see that there are potential biological mechanisms at play, although I'm sure socio economic factors also play a not insignificant part.

So 30 in my case?

I put more weight on financial stability than age
Too many children in this country are born into poverty

Age is only one factor. Waiting could be altruistic rather than selfish in some cases, as in some cases finances, housing, relationships, health etc are not in place at a younger age. It's complex. I wouldn't like to put a figure on it, as everyone ages at such different rates. Obviously though, the menopause happens for a reason.
It's very sad if you longed to be a mother, and right circumstances just didn't present themselves in time. Life can be extraordinarily cruel and unfair 😔