I need honest answers about childbirth

[Hey1256]

Ok, so I think I have a mild form of Tokophobia (childbirth fear) as it's worried me for years. I'm now TTC so feel I should think more about my options.

I want to know from anyone who had a natural birth if they regret and how bad it actually was?

I have decided to give birth without a c section (I considered an elective one but decided against for various reasons).

I am really against epidural for only one reason - lasting permanent damage to my spine or inability to walk. Otherwise I'd have one in a heartbeat.

So if I use just gas an air and birthing pool, for someone that has a massive fear of childbirth am I crazy to even consider this?

Did anyone have a natural birth with gas and air and regret it massively and if they could go back would have an epidural?

Please don't say 'Once the baby is here you'll forget about the pain'. I know it's a lovely way to look at it but I don't find it helpful lol I need real truthful answers please?

Thanks

I was the same as you and said no way was I having an epidural. It was the thought of a needle in my spine and ongoing problems some people have from it.

My advice is try to do a lot of reading, I recommend Ina May book about child birth can't remember the name. Half of it was just inspirational birth stories. All very positive and I read it just before my 3rd birth to remind me of how positive an experience it can be with the right mindset and obviously many other factors have to be right too.
I had 3 births with just gas and air. The first and third were while I was standing. The third was the best. It was empowering and recovery was easiest that time.

Also did pregnancy yoga and read hyponobirthing book. These helped by giving some techniques or visualisations (climbing a mountain or skiing were common themes!) which I used during contractions.

I would have loved a waterbirth but wasn't allowed.

Be prepared that you may have to have an epidural (or spinal block) if you need taking to theatre for any reason. I didn’t have one for the delivery but then DD placenta got stuck and had to be removed in theatre which has to be done with a spinal block.

I don't really understand what you're looking for in response to your post? Labour is like nothing else you'll ever experience - I think you're unlikely to come across many women who'll tell you it isn't almost unbearably painful. It's called labour for a reason. You'll only manage without an epidural if you can stay as calm and as relaxed as possible. I prepared by doing hypnobirthing and managed to stay in control. I gave birth with just gas and air. Though when that baby was making his way out I thought my whole body was going to tear into two!! Having said that next time I'll probably opt for a home birth so it can't have herb that bad afterall...

*can't have been

Oh gosh thanks Basil lol, this is the problem some women act like it's a minor - I can't tell if it's genuine or if they actually mean it.

I think it's going to be an epi for me, possibly water

No pain relief and natural birth. Baby was back to back so it was long and slow but honesty, I know I was lucky but breaking my foot was much worse! I didn't want more children but I wouldn't be frightened of going through labour again. I have a couple of friends who have had emergency c-sections and have still gone back for another go. When you are in labour you aren't frightened, you go with it. Mother Nature takes over. She is brilliant.

Have gave birth twice, 16 years ago I went into labour naturally and was in active labour with painful contractions for over 10 hours with just has and air, I ended up with a ventouse delivery and a bad tear which needed stitches. Recovery was painful. I had my daughter 2 years ago after being induced for 5 days with gel and a balloon catheter then the drip to bring on contractions. I only had to endure the contractions for an hour and then they gave me an epidural. Best thing ever in my opinion! Couldn't feel my contractions at all and birthed her in 4 hours, just a slight graze and was a wonderful birth and was out within hours. No lasting effect from the epidural. It was great for me x

Everyone is different, labour for me was very quick and not that painful until the last push, I didn’t have gas and air just paracetamol and I thought I was a total wimp, if it hurt that much people would only have one baby. I had a really bad tear so although the Labour wasn’t that painful afterwards was awful.

I had a c section for my second pregnancy it was a breeze, really chilled no pain during or after the procedure. I picked my three year old up less than two hours after and I have had no problems.

Everybody is different, i honestly dreaded labour I am such a wimp and no hardy at all but I was pleasantly surprised. It felt like really bad period pain four four hours solid mixed with IBS pain.

Only you can make the decision, it’s only one day of your life to be in pain and you get a baby at the end of it.

As a PP mentioned, the priority is to get baby out safely. With DD I had this wonderful perfect birth in my head that involved the pool and packed my hospital bag for every eventuality.

In reality I gave birth at 36+2 on only gas and air as it went so quick. Yes, it was agony at the time but as soon as baby is out you have a massive sigh of relief and genuinely forget about the pain because you are too loved up to care. After DD I swore I could never go through it again, and here I am 36 weeks pregnant with DC2 lol. Nothing anyone tells you can prepare you for it, you have no choice but to just go for it and think about the wonderful end result

With my 2nd child I was such low risk I was able to have her in a birthing suite.
I only had gas and air and the Labour was very intense and lasted 15 hours.
I didn't know my body could feel pain that horrific and me not die. . But I have no regrets and I'm pregnant with my 3rd and hope I can have this baby in a birthing suite and with just gas and air.

I felt BEYOND proud of myself after and still up until this day 😂
My 1st I was induced and opted for an epidural and it was just a horrible experience. My 2nd even though very painful, I wouldn't change anything.

Hopefully 3rd time lucky it's less than 15 hours as my first was 15 too! Lol

I had my first baby not long ago, natural birth I had a water birth with just gas & air. It hurt I’m not going to lie it bloody hurt. Don’t forget if you ca so far & change your Mind you can have other drugs to help. The one positive was I felt it was better for my baby as I got pretty stressed & almost needed assistance however my LO heart rate never changed despite his head going in & out as I struggled to get his head out. Good luck Op

I didn't want an epidural for the reasons you mentioned.

Had nothing for first 14 hours and a bit of g and a for the last 2. Spent most of labour at home and the last few hours in the birthing pool at hospital.

It was a lot of hard work but being in the water really helped and the positive birth company's digital pack (online hypnobirth course) was brilliant, I'd highly recommend it.

Good luck

@Roozy123 love your post! I too gave birth on a birth unit, had very intense contractions for during the majority of my 17 hour labour and used just gas and air. The pain nearing the end was almost other worldly!! I didn't know it was physically possible to withstand so much pain. Despite that I wouldn't change my labour or my choices and for me my labour was the best experience of my life of which I'm so incredibly proud

I had two natural births with only TENS machine / gas and air / pool as pain relief.

I pushed for a long time on my first as he was back to back - 2 hours 45 minutes. That was horrible, really hard work. I had an episiotomy, but it meant I never felt him crowning! It healed well. With my second I still pushed for over an hour (I think I have very tight pelvic floor, I've never had any issues since giving birth). I tore naturally so felt DC2 crowning which BURNED!

It wasn't so bad though, really. I mean it was the most pain I've ever felt, contractions were more painful than I could've ever imagined. But my second labour wasn't overly long (around 11 hours start to finish) and the gas and air/pool saw me through the contractions. In between, I was fine, just chatting normally to DH/the midwife etc.

Oh forgot to say I don't regret either atall, I healed quickly both times and after my second DC in particular, I was up and at 'em and feeling normal so quickly! It was great!

Hi, OP. I've had two vaginal births, one with an epidural (DS1 was 9lb 7oz and back-to-back) and one without. Yes, it hurts, but it's more 'pressure' than pain,though that is uncomfortable enough...

I was induced and it all happened very fast. I got in the water for about ten mins and needed to push so had to get out and gas and air was
Only available by the bed as I was high risk. G&A made me really sick and I can say the water did absolutely nothing to help with the pain. I had an episiotomy which was agony at the time as they didn't wait for the local to work but it's healed really well 10 weeks on. I also had a retained placenta and needed a spinal block (which they put in the wrong place twice first) to remove it. It was horrendous and for a week I said never again, I can honestly say Iv changed my mind.

Tens machine, gas and air and pool in the MLU. It was all fine. Honestly.
Myvearly Labour was long and annoying. Ds was back to back but the tens really helped.
After 24 hours of contractions he finally turned round and the it was all done in 4 hours, no real pushing phase at all he just slipped out.

I know this sounds really hippy but I think a positive mindset really really helps too.

On paper I didn't have a good labour but I genuinely didn't think it was that bad. I do think I was really really lucky though because my labour progressed quite quickly until it came to the end so I was only in labour for around 10 hours really.

The reality is I required an instrumental delivery - forceps and had a 3rd degree tear as well as an episiotomy. But recovery was really good - no pain afterwards other than just being generally uncomfortable and it healed really quickly. I didn't have an epidural but even given all of the above, since he was born I just knew I would do it again. A few things I'd change for next time but I truly didn't find labour that bad though like I said with 10 hours I was one of the lucky ones out of my peers.

Hope it all goes well for you! You'll find you're stronger than you think - I know I was!

I am literally the worst person with pain, but just try and stay calm and positive throughout pregnancy about childbirth, don’t have any expectations just go in with an open mind. This is what I did and my birth was fine, did it on just gas and air, wanted the birthing pool but wasn’t enough time. I actually enjoyed my experience. It really is amazing!

Oh I forgot I needed a saddle block after everything which was annoying but I really enjoyed actually feeling what was going on. I tried really hard to just listen to my body and let it do its thing and for the most part I think it did a good job.

Haha sorry OP but it's true. It doesn't mean that it wasn't the best experience of my life of which I'm so proud. I was on a midwife led birth unit but there was an epidural available in the consultant led unit on the floor above. However I just knew I had the strength to do it. Some of that strength came from attending hypnobirthing classes with my partner which I can't recommend enough. You may actually feel differently once pregnant. The thought of labour was very abstract for me until my labour progressed. You'll experience your body in such a new way and you'll begin to bond with your baby. I became increasingly aware of how my body's function was to grow and then birth my baby. I wanted to stay as far away from any medicalisation or intervention as possible

had home birth with second DD - had quite a difficult time with first one in hospital and I'm an HCP so think I've developed fear of hospitals as a patient ! So I was in no way going to go in unless emergency .. all fine , couldn't have done without gas and air though and pool. End result - pretty good. Did a shed load of Hypno birthing stuff too and that really helped - breathing through pain . I'm scared of pain and a control freak so all that made me feel more in control . Hope that helps .

OP - I had a natural childbirth with no pain relief - not a conscious choice; things moved too quickly and I hated the gas & air. It definitely hurt. DH said I roared like a bear. But it somehow felt, I dunno, natural and right. And in stage two when DD was crowning, although it was a special kind of pain, I just remember realising that I could actually feel my baby and that I was about to meet her. That was a pretty incredible feeling that made the pain mean less.

I know I was fortunate and the truth is you never know what kind of childbirth you will have, but either way, labour lasts a lot less time than the time you'll have a baby for when it's over!

I've had two home births, just with Tens and gas and air, tore both times, and they're still not the most painful experiences I've suffered (in no order - infected tooth abscess, manual evacuation of miscarriage, and having the placenta pulled out of me after my latest birth).

I got a hypnobirthing CD and book, read loads of natural birth books, one (Natural Childbirth?) by Ina Mae Gaskin, one by Dick Grantley-Read, and Birth Skills by Juju Sundin. Each of them were useful and also a bit twee in places but I took bits from everything to help me through it.

It is painful but not excruciatingly painful (like I found the above pains to be, how I would describe as bad/medical pains) - this was good pain like when you've run/cycled a massive distance and you want to continue but your muscles are screaming.

It's not necessarily an awful experience. Be positive, read as much as you can, remember it's a natural, normal bodily function that we're currently at the pinnacle of evolution to cope with.
And that most women go on to do it all again.
Good luck!