I need honest answers about childbirth

[Hey1256]

Ok, so I think I have a mild form of Tokophobia (childbirth fear) as it's worried me for years. I'm now TTC so feel I should think more about my options.

I want to know from anyone who had a natural birth if they regret and how bad it actually was?

I have decided to give birth without a c section (I considered an elective one but decided against for various reasons).

I am really against epidural for only one reason - lasting permanent damage to my spine or inability to walk. Otherwise I'd have one in a heartbeat.

So if I use just gas an air and birthing pool, for someone that has a massive fear of childbirth am I crazy to even consider this?

Did anyone have a natural birth with gas and air and regret it massively and if they could go back would have an epidural?

Please don't say 'Once the baby is here you'll forget about the pain'. I know it's a lovely way to look at it but I don't find it helpful lol I need real truthful answers please?

Thanks

I was also terrified of an epidural. I had gas and air until I said I wanted something more and had some diamorphine which was lovely! It lasts 4-5 hours. DC was born 4 hours to the minute of my injection.the midwife said I couldn’t have timed it better.

It wasn’t as bad as some for me. It hurt, but until I was pushing there was time to catch my breath between contractions. It felt like I was pushing for an eternity, but it was only 10 minutes.

Oh and my my waters went after midnight on the Wednesday and DC didn’t arrive until just before 9am on the Friday. I had cold and broke my waters coughing. Just because they go early doesn’t mean you have to have an epidural.

2nd pregnancy was high risk and I had to have a section at 35 weeks. Had a spinal along with a lovely panic attack

@obkb I want natural because I don't want to be restricted for six weeks with a c section. I have no issue if it's necessary due to the baby being in distress but otherwise I feel like i should just do what everyone else does. Also, with a c section you need an epidural anyway so I may aswell worst case go for epidural and have it naturally

OP if being restricted for 6 weeks is your worry about a section I can only say that wasn't me experience either time with my sections. I was up and about really easily, especially the second time. Walked about 3 miles pushing double buggy to the shops with newborn and toddler when my son was about 10 days old. A planned section is often a world away from an emergency one recovery wise. I also chose to have GA rather than epidural.

I also didn't ever feel like I should just do whatever everyone else does, literally didn't cross my mind. I wanted what felt right for me and what I felt most comfortable with. Every woman should be able to choose the birth they want, as far as medically possible.

I suppose reflecting on it such a huge part of my tokophobia was the fear of the physical condition I would be left in after and I was more prepared to take the fairly minimal risks of a section. I've seen many posters in here say they have had better recoveries from sections than their natural births but it really does seem to be a lottery. I feel really fortunate to have had good births, good recoveries and no lasting health problems. I hope whatever you choose it's the same for you.

For my first I was induced and that was a long slow labour and I had the epidural for that, for my 2nd(2 days ago), it was an extremely quick 2 hour labour and 10 minutes minutes of pushing, I didnt have time to have the epidural as I was 10cm when I got to the hospital, with myself having anxiety over giving birth I was extremely panicking about the pain and I was terrified, but in all honesty the pushing itself DIDNT hurt, it felt like a relief, the worst bit was the crowning that felt a little stingy but that was it, I would say better to not have the epidural because my recovery this time has been so much quicker, I've bounced right back and nothing hurts!

Good luck! Xxx

Honestly I had an awful birth experience 8 weeks ago and still can't sleep from it. My main takeaway would be that what happened to me was something I wasn't in control of/didn't have a choice in. If I ever get over it I will be asking for an elective csection , although that isn't a perfect solution as some of my trauma was down to a bleed I had after surgery. But it would be the lesser evil xxx

@Hey1256 because I feel that labour is the most amazing thing. What our bodies can do is just something else. I was induced both times and I would hope to go into natural labour next time as before I got put on the hormone drip I was managing my contractions fine but once the drip was in it was a total different story. If I needed a c section I wouldn't say no but I would prefer natural for the same reason as you, recovery time. both times I have been okay a couple days after and with having 2 girls already I think it would be a lot more difficult.
I was petrified before my first, I even said to my husband can we just run away I don't want to give birth haha.
I just think if an elective is an option for you then go through the pros and cons of both and do what's best for you. X

I even said to my husband can we just run away I don't want to give birth haha.

That's hilarious. You sound like me!!!

I would say keep your options open, I started in a pool with gas and air, but things didn't go as planned and honestly, the pain relief was the best thing in the world (it wasn't an epidural, but something with diamorphine injected into the spine). I would elect for a birthing centre within a hospital if you can, I had to be blue lighted from a midwife led unit and I wouldn't recommend that. There is support available during pregnancy if you let them know your fears.

I had a 'normal' birth and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I went in with the attitude that what needs to be done will be done. I was in the best hands and if I needed a c section then that's what I needed. I wasn't fretting about it as you're not in control to a certain point when it comes to labour.
I was pushing for 3 hours but well worth it.
My baby was back to back and contractions were bearable at 3cm. Once my waters were broken the contractions were a lot more intense and I went from 3cm-10cm in an hour. I managed to get by on gas and air but when you fall pregnant be sure to mention to your MW about your anxieties x

I've had 4 kids. 3 homebirths. No pain relief at all. It's honestly not that bad.

I had my heart set on a natural birth, but I did cave in and have some gas & air and a low dose of pethidine towards the end. It did bloody hurt, but it's oddly manageable in a way & I felt in control. I laboured 6 hours from first contraction to birth, DS was born 7lbs14, no tears and no stitches needed.

Breathing techniques really helped.
Good luck.

Gas and air sounds perfect to me. I can say for a fact that for me, the fear of the pain was the worst part of it (for my 2nd child) my first child was a completely different story and a bad experience, but not a "normal" birth experience or one that anyone having a child should expect to have. It hurts, for sure, but if you have a natural (non-induced) birth in a relaxed (as possible) frame of mind, you'll be fine. I think nitrous oxide would be perfect to get you in the right mind space. I wish that was an option here.

First birth was a breeze, second I was struggling a bit so had an epidural and it was amazing. No pain at all and just watched Netflix on my phone until it was time to push lol

My first birth was induced and DS1 was back to back. The contractions were bearable, the back pain was not; hence I had an epidural. Ended up having episiotomy. Remember vowing to never ever have another child....and really meant it at the time.

Fast forward 2.5 years and I was pregnant again, but decided to do things differently. I practiced
hypnobirthing and aimed for a water birth. I ended up having to be induced again but only needed a pessary and waters breaking and my body took over. Had a water birth with gas and air. Suffered a third degree tear but despite this, the birth was relaxed and positive. I realised I felt so many sensations I missed with the first birth because I couldn't feel anything. Contractions aren't like pain, I would describe them as an intense ache that builds in intensity. Just when you think you can't bear it anymore, you're in transition and baby starts coming out.

My advice to you is address your fears first and foremost. Esp if you think they can't be addressed solely through hypnobirthing. I would suggest to aim to be as relaxed and positive about the forthcoming birth as you possibly can; it truly makes a difference (with my first I was terrified, the second fearless). Once you've worked through your fears using whatever help you need to do it, think about which method will put you most at ease, be it natural, epidural or c section.

Above all, try not to get too set on one approach. Childbirth is unpredictable and the best thing you can do is be prepared to be flexible in the case of a difficulty or emergency.

I was really worried about the pain being overwhelming but it climbed slowly so although each contraction was very intense and... well.. painful, I managed to ride the pain.

My first midwife kept telling me not to fight and just ride the wave because it will crash into the shore and I will get a break. I even napped in those breaks in my first labour. You wouldn't believe it but 1-2 minute naps over an hour build up and you get energy from somewhere

Hi
I gave birth 10 week ago.. it was nothing as bad as I thought... I had epidural which does not hurt at all cannot feel a thing wen having it done... the labour was bliss... epidural is the best thing ever, I sat and watched the chase extra on my phone then before I knew it I was 10cm and 3 pushes she was out and I didn’t feel a thing didn’t feel her come out or anything it was great... why take the pain when this day an age there is drugs for it 🤱🏼 X