Things/tips I wish someone had told me - please add and pass on the love

[SquidgerInMyBelly]

Dear all,

My lovely DD arrived on 5th Aug - I have had so much support from posts and questions that I thought I'd pass on the love - here's my experience:

1.Get the TENS on early, as soon as regular period pains, it really worked (got to 7cm before they'd even look at me)

1. Get in the pool - the relief of weight off the back and pelvis is bliss!

1. Don't purple push - my MW thought I was being a lazy moo but I am glad I took my time as less damage

1. After birth there will be a baboons arse between your legs from the bruising - it will go.

1. To wee sting free bend over and touch your toes on the loo and have a bottle of water ready for immediate douching when you sit up. Add a few drops of lavender or tea tree oil to aid healing when home.

1. When pushing it feels like a melon is coming down your back passage and that you'll split. Really wish someone had told me this as it scared me. Again, it will be ok.

1. Take the biggest breaths in of g&a you can as soon as the contraction starts - if it hurts its too late for it to work - its good stuff!

1. Being sore and bruised is hard work - just getting in and out of bed was difficult - I got prescribed Voltorol for 1 week, 3x a day - really helped.

Love to all x

Do what makes you most comfortable. If you want to be silent, then be silent. If you want to scream your head off, then scream your bloody head off!

Ditto pain relief, postions etc.

This is exactly the advice I was after, thank you. Can you add anything else about what happens to your body after labour, the first six to eight weeks after you have given birth?

Directly after labour you will still have some contractions and deliver the placenta. I don't remember any pain at all from this bit.

Your belly will be just as big but empty! It's wierd!

You will probably bleed heavily for a fair few weeks. Cheap, disposable pants are the way to go. Black PJ bottoms, BIG maternity pads.

Around day 3 your milk will come in and so will the hormones! I cried like a baby. This is normal.

I will say everything changes from week 1 to week 8. It's so hard at first but by 8 weeks you will have learned so much. Don't forget to appreciate how well you are coping, and pat yourself on the back.

I second the TENs advice and the gas and air

However, i wish I had known that forceps can leave you incontinent (but the physios got me sorted, but it was a real shock)

And that sometimes your body does not produce enough milk, no matter what you do, and topping up with formula is not the worst thing in the world.

That sometimes you get in the pool and get so relaxed your contractions stop

Mmmm, I am sounding rather negative aren't I.

On the up side, having DD brought me and DP closer (we even had a second)

I never thought I could love someone as much as I love DC

Stock up ur freezer before you have baby with good home cooked meals

Do perenium massage regularly before giving birth- very important.

Oh, and when you give birth there's like...an actual baby that you have to feed and whatnot (It took me a while!)

I was just going to say no 4!! Your bits blow up, I thought I had extra pads stuck on but no, it was all me! That shocked and scared me, no-one warns you about that.

Wantanorange - What do you mean three days later your milk comes in? I thought you were to hold the baby on your chest after you give birth and that made the milk come in? Forgive the stupid question but what do you feed it if the milk hasn't come in and how do you know it will come in?

Ambi - Am almost too scared to ask......what do you mean 'your bits blow up?'

I feel really niave but figure that now is as good a time to find out as any!

Ask if the midwife can give you a pain relief suppository asap once the baby is out. You will really be able to enjoy your baby more if you're not so SORE.

Do perineal massage daily before giving birth if at all possible.

Galvanise as much help as possible for the weeks and months after giving birth. You will be sore and tired. I failed miserably at this and still feel sad that I spent my post natal time running round trying to look after everyone else, when others should have been looking after me so that I could look after my babies.

mameulah, when your baby is first born, your breasts will produce colostrum full of antibodies and nutrients for a few days. Lots of sucking will stimulate your milk glands and your milk will come in an huge hormonal surge on about day 3.

Even if you have a free range, organic, no interventions, woo sort of birth the fact of the matter is that there will be something with the approx diameter of 20cms coming out of your vagina. This is clearly not an every day occurrence and the soft tissues around there will swell up and feel quite odd. They will go down. This happened to me with dd when I had a 2 hour second stage, though not with ds when he shot out in a couple of minutes flat, so I think it's related to the amount of pushing that you have to do.

Rosebud05, I will definitely sleep better now, I think! Do you reckon there was anything that you did that meant you had to do more or less pushing? Or is that just down to luck?

Buy a breast pump before the birth. Don't end up like me, poised like a wild demented mahoosively breasted demon battering on Boot's the Chemists door demanding to know why they weren't open at 09.01 on a weekday.

Agree with having industrial sized sanitary pads at the ready.

Cut your finger nails really short as soon as you feel the first contractions. Have something to bite down on, a teether is good.

When you have to push, they really do mean push and there may not be contractions to help you.

And then you have to push some more.

and no, you can't stop and go home.

Especially when you have a home birth.

arnica 200 straight after birth and hypercal tincture to bathe undercarriage brilliant stuff

When the hormones kick in around day three you may find yourself sobbing at random, daft things. I cried because I got given my tea in the wrong cup. This is ok but embarrassing.

Totally agree on the hormone front. I wasn't prepared for that, I couldn't stop crying because I loved DS so much!

Lavender oil in the bath is supposed to heal your bits after stitches, I healed quickly so I think maybe this worked and it was very relaxing anyway.

Also agree with arnica- I have some at the ready for my planned c-section tomorrow.

DO NOT only learn to breastfeed your dc lying down. I left the hospital after 3 days only beiong able to do it lying down, ds would only feed this way for the 6 months I exclusively breastfed him, despite my continual deperate attempts at trying to feed seated- which confined me to the house (I'm still surprised I didn;t go crazy).

Sorry for all typos- am typing in dark!!

As baby takes up every millimetre of space in your birth canal squishing both your front and back passages to extremes, extra's can be pushed out at the same time if either passage has contents. Mw's are use to this, it is quite common but still embarrassing.

Buy something freezable to sit on afterwards. Don't do too much activity, it can increase blood supply down there and make things feel more swollen and painful.

I cried like a baby too when my milk came in, completely normal but if it doesn't shift after a week or two seek advice/support. PND is common and help is available, don't suffer in silence.

Ooh! Good luck nearly!

Labour : use a straw to drink between contractions if you are stuck on your knees. I didn't think of this till afterwards and had got really thirsty.

Gas and air will dry out your throat; make sure you have lots to drink ready to hand, whether or not you're breast feeding.

Yy to the posts about yer bits swelling up!

I didn't bother with the perineal massage: tore slightly with DD, no need for stitches, tore a bit more with DS but still pretty minimal (two stitches). So optional, but then again it depends on things like size of your baby - mine were both on the small side - and how much you have to push - DD came out all in one go, in the sac.

You still get lochia if you have EMSC or SC

Always take in extra food or get some bought in as the meals in hospital are never enough and they only ever have 1 yoghurt in the fridge spare...

If your armpits hurt after birth you could be getting mastitis. I had this and it was due to breast tissue not "dropping' and therefore there were milk glads in my armpit! I had to massage them downwards towards the breast but wasn't conscientious enough and ended up on antibiotics Still BF for 11 months though

if you see pink in the baby's nappy - it is normal - urea crystals - not blood.

( a salmon pink, or brick dust colour )

when i saw it i crapped myself until the MW came and said it was ok

shaking violently shortly following a spinal/epidural is normal

invest in a big flask for tea in the night when you are breast feeding, no one else is there make you a brew - and you will need one.