Things/tips I wish someone had told me - please add and pass on the love

[SquidgerInMyBelly]

Dear all,

My lovely DD arrived on 5th Aug - I have had so much support from posts and questions that I thought I'd pass on the love - here's my experience:

1.Get the TENS on early, as soon as regular period pains, it really worked (got to 7cm before they'd even look at me)

1. Get in the pool - the relief of weight off the back and pelvis is bliss!

1. Don't purple push - my MW thought I was being a lazy moo but I am glad I took my time as less damage

1. After birth there will be a baboons arse between your legs from the bruising - it will go.

1. To wee sting free bend over and touch your toes on the loo and have a bottle of water ready for immediate douching when you sit up. Add a few drops of lavender or tea tree oil to aid healing when home.

1. When pushing it feels like a melon is coming down your back passage and that you'll split. Really wish someone had told me this as it scared me. Again, it will be ok.

1. Take the biggest breaths in of g&a you can as soon as the contraction starts - if it hurts its too late for it to work - its good stuff!

1. Being sore and bruised is hard work - just getting in and out of bed was difficult - I got prescribed Voltorol for 1 week, 3x a day - really helped.

Love to all x

and get some straws

I used a spritzer spray on my stinging epesiotomy scar for immediately after doing a wee to reduce stinging - I also used a tea towel to bite down on

Oh, yes, red bits that could be blood in nappy. I took ds to hospital about this in the middle of the night when he was a couple of days old.

Urea crystals, nothing to worry about, I subsequently found out.

Re: how hard you'll need to push. Dd had the cord round her neck tightly and was difficult to push down. Ds's waters remained in tact, and he sort of surfed out. Both just over 6lb, so not down to size, although of course once the birth canal is stretched, the muscles tend to be easier to stretch again.

Sorry for this one but I wished someone had warned me...

Especially in the first few weeks babies can projectile poo. Whether girl or boy try to keep them covered over with a fresh nappy just in case!

If u wanted a natural intervention free birth but end up with an emsc

It's not your fault
You havent failed
You HAVE had a baby
It will be agony afterwards
Take all the bloomin painkillers ur offered

I found TENS and G&A totally ineffective - twice.

My advice would be to know your options, and then do what you need to do when the time comes.

The pain and aching before and after childbirth is obliterated by your new baby.

Formula is not poison.

Try not to panic. I think my first labour was harder and seemed worse because I didn't know what to expect or what was normal and panicked. I spent my third labour with the gas and air constantly in my mouth counting to 10 over and over and it was so much easier.

When the baby is out it is a massive relief and a great moment but the ordeal isn't quite over yet. I was a bit "huh what?" when the MW came at me with the injection for the placenta (even though I knew I would have it, I had forgotten about it) and then started yanking on the cord to get the placenta out. Seriously gross but not painful at all, just icky. Then I had a cuddle with DS and had to start on the stitches, again something to be endured before the whole thing was over. Again not really painful but I was tired and not in the mood to still have my legs akimbo with my undercarriage hanging out.

The suppository the MW gives you after stitches is fantastic, really effective. Having a wash after the birth is lovely but odd - your body feels totally different and it's disorienting. I agree with the "baboon's bottom" metaphor - it feels like someone has inflated your ladybits. Not pleasant but it goes down fairly fast and acts as a sort of cushion in the first few days to protect the really ouchy bits.

I found tea tree oil (very diluted) really good for keeping my stitches clean - I had no problem with infection. Must remember arnica for DC2 - do the people who mentioned it mean tablets or ointment?

Forgot two:

1. my DD was sick 4 times with mucous and blood (apparently the mothers blood fm way out) that first night - went through all my baby grows in one night and had to send DH shopping as soon as he arrived. It's fine - they can swollow a lot of gunk even if vag delivery. After that she felt much better and managed to suck a bit.

10. Your nips will get sore. Take the Lanisoh cream with you. Think to yourself 'this hurts ..... but much less than a contraction'. When they suck well it will give you an after pain and you'll bleed more. (Take your big pads but line your pants with a huge hospital one too.)

X

The main thing I was glad to know was about colostrum and how important it is.

"When your milk comes in" is an extremely misleading phrase, that implies there's no milk prior to the 3rd day postpartum. There is, and it's very important early milk.

Until the "milk comes in" after 2-3 days, your breasts produce COLOSTRUM, which is an amazing substance. Breast feed your baby OFTEN as this stuff is really good for him/her.

His/her tummy will be the size of a marble when he's born so he needs to feed every 2 hours minimum - this is normal. More frequently is normal too. It doesn't mean there's no milk, it doesn't mean your baby isn't getting anything - IT DOES NOT MEAN THERE'S NO MILK.

Frequent feeding is entirely normal.

Another thing I was glad to know: cluster feeding - when your baby feeds frequently one after an another - that is NORMAL too. He's just increasing your milk supply because he's growing. It happens about 3 weeks after birth, and then at regular intervals after that. Don't panic!!!!

After my second birth, I stood up and passed a giant clot, it was easily the size of my hand. I was terrified it was retained placenta or something like that but it was literally just a clot and totally fine.

I had the most amazing labour and birth with my second but couldn't have done it without Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book here

Both of my DDs were born by CS (one emergency, one elective). I laboured with DD1, but not with DD2 as she was the planned CS.

Anyway, with DD1 were my body had gone into labour, I remember having some very strange pinging sensations in my womb after she was born. Not painful, just weird. You also get after pains as everything settles down. I also remember finding that my womb would contract every time a baby cried on the PN ward!

I found that the epidural/spinals made my face/neck quite tickly, as though someone was touching me with a feather. Apparently this is normal.

As I have no experience of pushing a small person out of my vagina, I can only advise on what to do after a CS. The main thing is to get mobile asap - they like to get you out of bed and in the shower about 24 hours after birth. You'll feel as though your abdomen's going to burst open when you first get out of bed, but unless you really overdo it, it will be fine.

I found it was easier to recover from an elective cs than the emergency one, but not sure if that was just psychological.

not sure anyone mentioned this but it is worth mentioning... when pushing, don't be surprised if you do push out a poo. Many freak at the thought of this but I believe it's fairly common.. I think the thought of it grosses us out but in reality I'm not sure anyone gives a shit (pardon the pun!)

Oh yeah and take arnica every 3 hours in labour and have witch hazel and water in a spritzer bottle for your bits. If you don't think it's too minging and are very sore, pee in the shower. It's much easier. Drops of witch hazel on a pad are very cooling if you have tears or stitches.

And if you want to bring music etc into the hospital be aware that many don't allow you to plug things in if not PAT tested by the hospital.

This cutie speaker has excellent sound for the price, can be used with an ipod shuffle and you can pace up and down with it, take it around with you etc

When your milk comes in it bloody hurts but do not panic, it will not always hurt like that (I had a long, lonely, painful night in the hospital when my milk came in and I was very scared that it would always hurt).

It is normal to feel so harassed and tortured when your baby cries. It's a newborn cry designed to make you react! Your baby will not always cry like this.

Even if you feel great afterwards (thanks painkillers!) you will hit a wall. Both my friend and I hit that wall at 4 weeks. Before then we'd felt great (despite sleep deprivation etc.) as hormones had kept us going. Then we fell back to earth and it was hard. It will get easier though just rest as much as possible and get out in the fresh air.

And take a bottle of water to the loo with you to rinse whilst you pee. Lovely feeling When DH first heard it he thought I was ill!

The night sweats! In the first few weeks, I would wake in the middle of the night drenched!
I learned so much after the birth. Wish someone had told me the truth about what to expect in the days/weeks following

Totally agree with know your options! And talk your DP/birthing partner through your birth plan (which should be as flexible as possible!) in a lot of detail! It was a huge relief for me to know that DP knew exactly what I wanted / didn't want and could leave him to discuss with the midwife and consultant and concentrate on the physical stuff. And when the consultant said I needed a ventouse, I knew exactly what she meant and why, and did not worry about it.

Oh, and you can vomit during labour!

Oh, and yes, weeing will hurt, especially of you have had an episiotomy or tear. BUT if it carries on hurting for several minutes after you wee, you could have a bladder infection that can be cleared up with antibiotics from your GP.

Was in pain for a week after the birth, asked midwives repeatedly to check my stitches and they refused. Someone on MN suggested going to the GP, he tested my urine, gave me antibiotics, pain went away very quickly.

After I'd done nearly all my labour lying on my left side, only last push was on my back, the MW who cleaned me up told me that the best way to avoid a tear is to be lying on your left side - there you go, I didn't know that, and if MWs do, then why don't they tell more people?

Afterwards, it feels like everything is falling out of your vag for about 2-3 days.

Day 4-5 = baby blues - hormonal meltdown

Hypnobirthing may not stop the pain but it certainly helped me to trust my bod to do what it needed to - which made a lot of difference when stage 2 contractions started.

For me, the biggest surprises in labour were:

1. nausea and vomiting with contractions
2. that stage 2 contractions could be so painful around the back - felt like someone/thing was pressing directly on my spinal cord, absolutely paralysing.

Great thread - I had forgotten half the things on here (and need to remember them for DC2 in a few months!!)

The thing that really caught me by surprise was that your waters don't just break once - they can break a little then the rest is kept in by the baby and it comes out bit by bit - especially with a contraction - I felt like I was wetting myself constantly - was horrible!

Babies aren't always hungry for a while after birth. DD (4weeks) wasn't interested in feeding until about 20 hours after delivery when she had thrown up all the liquid that she ingested in utero. Half the midwives were worried about her, half said she'd be fine and the second lot were right, after clearing her system out she latched on perfectly and we've been fine since. Glad I stayed in hospital for the night as without having the midwives and lactation consultants there to help kept me calm, had I been at home I think I would have been very stressed about it.

Yes to the bottle of water for taking the sting out of peeing. No one told me about the night sweats either. Make sure you have a house full of snacks for coming home, especially if your breastfeeding. I kept forgetting to eat and felt rather unwell for first few weeks. Also remember that first labours can be quick so don't leave it too long before calling the hospital. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. [Smile]

Sorry damn phone....