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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Things/tips I wish someone had told me - please add and pass on the love

189 replies

SquidgerInMyBelly · 20/08/2012 22:21

Dear all,

My lovely DD arrived on 5th Aug - I have had so much support from posts and questions that I thought I'd pass on the love - here's my experience:

1.Get the TENS on early, as soon as regular period pains, it really worked (got to 7cm before they'd even look at me)

  1. Get in the pool - the relief of weight off the back and pelvis is bliss!
  1. Don't purple push - my MW thought I was being a lazy moo but I am glad I took my time as less damage
  1. After birth there will be a baboons arse between your legs from the bruising - it will go.
  1. To wee sting free bend over and touch your toes on the loo and have a bottle of water ready for immediate douching when you sit up. Add a few drops of lavender or tea tree oil to aid healing when home.
  1. When pushing it feels like a melon is coming down your back passage and that you'll split. Really wish someone had told me this as it scared me. Again, it will be ok.
  1. Take the biggest breaths in of g&a you can as soon as the contraction starts - if it hurts its too late for it to work - its good stuff!
  1. Being sore and bruised is hard work - just getting in and out of bed was difficult - I got prescribed Voltorol for 1 week, 3x a day - really helped.

Love to all x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LittleBearPad · 23/08/2012 22:58

Take Lucozade or similar for labour. I was induced and wasn't allowed to eat anything once I was on the drip. Drank vats of the stuff
Epidurals wear off and if you let them wear off too much before topping them up - they may not work (continuous monitoring machine thing wasn't picking up the contractions and DD's heartbeat so I let the epidural wear off a bit to see how things were going and try to prove the dips in DD's heartbeat were to do with the contractions and not distress)
Trying to walk around, shower, change nappies etc with a catheter is a logistical challenge that I wasn't up to at 2 in the morning.
The first night is scary once your husband has to go home. I cuddled my DD most of the night on my chest. One of the HCPs told me not to spoil her the next morning when she came in Hmm
Take shampoo for when you have a shower - I forgot, washing my hair in hand soap really wasn't as good
Lavender oil in the bath is excellent for healing stitches and lovely to just sit in and catch your breath
Lochia comes and goes and if it gets heavier again take it as a sign you should slow down a bit.
It is amazing and scary at the same time particularly when you arrive home from the hospital, put the carseat down in your house and realise your life has completely changed (for the better) Smile and then wonder what you should do!

confuddledDOTcom · 23/08/2012 23:08

CaroCo, some people don't get bricks and in those first few weeks babies being permanently attached is normal - out put, bracelets, health and weight is a better indicator. HVs are allowed to help you with bottles! Even doing the PCT peer support course I was told how to support someone who wanted to give a bottle. The HV would have done better to either reassure you or gone through the instructions on the side of the box with you. Useful creatures - sometimes!

confuddledDOTcom · 23/08/2012 23:11

Just because they say you're not allowed, doesn't mean you're not allowed. If you want to eat, eat! You wouldn't run a marathon on an empty stomach and if you came in from a crash following being in an all you can eat buffett they'd have to deal with you having eaten! There's a greater immediate risk from not eating than there potentially is from you eating.

twolittlekings · 23/08/2012 23:21

Have an open mind. Don't go in there expecting a certain pathway - it sure as hell doesn't alway end up that way! I wrote an essay of a birth plan for DS1. Of course none of it happened. For DS2's I wrote two words: NO FORCEPS

rainbow2000 · 24/08/2012 10:32

Breastfeeding hurts.
I shook and puked after last baby who was a secton.
I was absolutley freezing they ended up putting loads of extra blankets on me.
You dont have to do everything the midwives or health visitor tells you.Do your own thing.

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 24/08/2012 12:53

If you happen to observe your week-old baby pooping (while in hospital waiting for jaundice blood test results), it may look like her anus is bleeding. It's not. The doctor will be very nice about this and not laugh in your face. Blush

seabuckthorn · 25/08/2012 17:47

I have laboured twice and am about to labour for a third... There is loads on here I didn't know!
Lying on your left side helps prevent tearing- genius!
Breathing in the G&A at the start of the contraction- well that blinking obvious now! No wonder I thought it was crap!

Thank you all!

Littleprettyone · 30/08/2012 09:11

My Dd is now 12 days old!

I would recommend a tens machine, I used mine even through part of the pushing stage. Gas and air also worked well for me.

During labour get into positions you're comfortable with but don't stay there too long. I held onto the back of the bed for well over an hour and didn't move, this meant my arms were extremely achey for days after.

To me the stitches afterwards (which took under an hour) were almost worse that labour. Use gas and air if you need stitches, it does help. I felt very shaky after the birth and this is normal because of shock!

I would recommend moist toilet tissue wipes as these can be cooling on your swollen parts. Get lots of maternity pads. Also if you're planning on breast feeding a small cheap manual breast pump and breast shells are my best friends right now! Wish I'd bought them before the birth.

aliphil · 31/08/2012 13:47

Make sure your DP knows your birth plan; I'd said I wanted gas & air but was in no fit state to ask for it, DH didn't ask either, and for some reason the mw never offered it. Also if you feel the need to push, tell the mw rather than just assuming your body is getting it wrong, and if she says you can't possibly be at that stage yet, get her to check - even first labours can be short!

Boots disposable knickers are completely useless for larger ladies; I am a size 18 pre-preg and couldn't even get the size 18-20 ones over my knees!

I used the thick maternity pads for the first day or two, but they were incredibly uncomfortable, and as they had no wings to hold them in place, they tended to shift sideways and only be partly effective! The slim ones with wings (Boots) were much better, but I was lucky that my bleeding didn't stay heavy for very long.

If a mw tells you it's better not to wear knickers at night and that your two maternity pads will stay on without them, she's lying.

It is not the end of the world if your DC won't feed right away, and having to give formula top-ups does not mean either that you are a failure or that you won't be able to bf. However, if you have problems bf-ing, insist on some help setting up a feeding plan ASAP rather than hoping it will all turn out right on its own (though it might), especially if the hospital policy is to keep you in until you've established some kind of feeding routine. What with shift changes and the occasional good feed, no one realised how difficult I was finding it for four days, but once DH and I managed to pin someone down and demand a plan, both feeding and my feelings impoved dramatically.

MotherOfNations · 31/08/2012 14:45

Forget maternity pads for atleast the first 3 days. Disposable nappies are much more useful.

BabydollsMum · 31/08/2012 23:36

If you live in a busy city don't think it's all nice and relaxed like One Born Every Minute - you don't labour in hospital, you give birth there. You WILL be sent home.

seabuckthorn · 01/09/2012 07:48

If you pass some bigger than 50p sized blood blots after the birth...don't ignore this. Call the midwife and let them know, you are not wasting their time.

Shagmundfreud · 01/09/2012 12:24

If having a normal birth is important to you and you don't need to go to a consultant led unit, then don't plan to give birth in one.

Consider an independent midwife if you want to reduce the chance of being traumatised by your labour.

blushingmare · 01/09/2012 17:51

When I was pregnant I thought I was really organised and prepared for motherhood.... My tip would be that nothing can prepare for what you're about to experience.

Nothing can prepare for labour and just how hard it is, but how your amazing body finds the reserves to get you through it.

Nothing can prepare you for the fact that your birth plan probably might not go to plan and how you will feel about that.

Nothing prepares you for just how hard breastfeeding can be at the start.

Nothing prepares you for how unbelievably hard those first few months weeks are.

Nothing prepares you for how all consuming looking after a tiny baby is.

But above all absolutely nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming, all consuming, so intense it's almost physically painful love that you suddenly feel for this small, helpless stranger that is suddenly in your life.

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