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Childbirth

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Original poster

OMG - my hospital don't let dads stay o/n!!

514 replies

Highlander · 14/02/2006 11:39

are we back in the 18thC or soemthing? I've just found out that dads are 'not allowed' to stay for the first night on the postnatal ward. I'm horrified, especially after hearing all the stories about midwives not helping when you buzz. Maybe they're all too busy making up bottles. When I had DS, no-one was bottle feeding on our unit. DH is trying to calm me by saying we'll get a solo room and he will stay (he's a docotor himself).

I'm really panicing. I had such a good time with DS.

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compo · 14/02/2006 11:40

My dh wasn't allowed to stay when we had ds. Tbh I think that's fine becuase the last thing you need after you've just had a baby is other people's dh's there all night. It's noisy enough in the ward. And the midwives were very helpful.

tiredemma · 14/02/2006 11:41

the hospital that both of my sons were born in didnt allow this. is it a common thing?

compo · 14/02/2006 11:42

Where would he sleep on the postnatal ward anyway if you didn't get your own room?!!

Blandmum · 14/02/2006 11:43

sounds awful, mind you a m/w mate of mine said that in part it was due to some couples shagging post partum! I kid you not. She found a new born crying and couldn't find the mum. Mum and dad were in the shower , hard at it

scotlou · 14/02/2006 11:43

I think that is usual tbh. I wouldn't have expected it.

littlemissbossy · 14/02/2006 11:44

My dh wasn't allowed either. TBH can't imagine they'd let you on a ward, as compo says, it's usually noisy enough. Don't worry you'll be fine!

compo · 14/02/2006 11:45

I am completely puzzled by this thread. Do people really expect their partners to be allowed to stay all night on a ward?

Kelly1978 · 14/02/2006 11:45

Why don't u jsut go home then? I had my second at midday, and was home in time for tea.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 14/02/2006 11:46

I would have liked my dh to be able to stay over night but i wouldnt have liked other peoples dh's to be there all night - I am an awkard bugger though

poppiesinaline · 14/02/2006 11:46

No hubbies/partners were allowed to stay in my nearby hospital either. I thought it was common practice. Good idea IMO. Who needs all those men hanging around? I found the first night nice to have a little time with new baby on my own. If it bothers you can you not ask to come home? I know my nearby hospital allow discharge 6 hours after birth if all is ok.

CarolinaMoon · 14/02/2006 11:46

No way would I have wanted everyone else's dh on the postnatal ward at night - it was noisy enough in the daytime and would be a bit of a security issue tbh.

I don't know your situation Highlander, but I guess a homebirth or v quick discharge would mean you didn't have to be in the hosp overnight.

compo · 14/02/2006 11:46

or have a home birth. Is this your first Highlander?

Blandmum · 14/02/2006 11:47

I spent Sunday night in hosptal with dd. The littleboy in the next bed had his dad staying with him overnight. His dad snored all night!

Imgine a room of snoring new dads, oblivious to the cries of the babies, and the mums trying to sleep when they could

Dinosaur · 14/02/2006 11:47

No o/n stays at the hospital where I had the DSs either.

I was a bit worried after DS2 because I had to have a spinal block and was numb from waist down and couldn't get out of bed. However DS2 slept all that night so it was okay.

Flamesparrow · 14/02/2006 11:48

How many places actually do let the partner stay? DH left me at about 10.30/11pm (DD born at 7pm), we had spent that whole time in the delivery room though - no-one else was having babies, so it wasn't an issue.

I just assumed that it was normal for dads to go home... Yes, I missed him, but probably both of us got more and better sleep with him being home.

Original poster
Highlander · 14/02/2006 11:49

when I had DS, everyone had their own room. There was a battered old chair thing that folded down into a bed. They really encouraged dads to be around as much as poss - after all, learning how to care for your baby is a family thing!

Although I was up on my feet the same day, I was too tired that night, and DH did all the nap changing. He stayed at home the next night.

I'm really, really anxious about this. I don't want to buzz for a nurse and end up waiting with a screaming baby for ages.

How many people are normally on a ward?

OP posts:
Kelly1978 · 14/02/2006 11:49

after I had my first, dh was sent home shortly afterwards, once I went to the ward visitng hours were very restricted.

Original poster
Highlander · 14/02/2006 11:49

I'm opting for a CS again this time.

OP posts:
Kelly1978 · 14/02/2006 11:49

about eight ime.

Original poster
Highlander · 14/02/2006 11:50

PMSL at the shagging

OP posts:
sparklymieow · 14/02/2006 11:51

dads not allowed to stay overnight at my local hopsital either, I thought that that was the norm TBH. And I think DH would have driven me mad being there on the first night, I was so tired anyway.

Original poster
Highlander · 14/02/2006 11:51

what - visiting hours?!!!!!!!!!

Jeez, it gets worse.

OP posts:
kama · 14/02/2006 11:51

This reply has been deleted

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compo · 14/02/2006 11:52

There were 4 people on my ward when I had ds. The nurses came very quickly after I rang the buzzer as I too had numb legs and was told not to attempt to get out of bed on my own!! They really are very good and don't just leave you to it. I really wouldn't worry.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 14/02/2006 11:52

Dads arent allowed to stay over in the hospital I had ds in. They have to be out by 8pm. I had ds at 7.29pm, but was in a recovery room as had em c section and they let dh stay until about 9.30pm.
I stayed in 3 nights, and dh had to leave at 8pm.
Thought this was the norm too.