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Original poster

I am being bullied by other mums in the playground

152 replies

Ijustdunnoanymore · 16/03/2023 13:18

Help, I need advice. My children havent been long at their new school. I recently volunteered for something and since then the mums from one class have been making my life really difficult. Nit picking at every tiny little thing I do. I have tried to remain calm but the nit picking has been constant over everything. Its like whack a mole. They glower at me, get their children to tell my children they don't like me. No one else volunteered for the task in question...I thought everyone would be relieved but they all seem to resent me. A few have emailed me their support but its all done quietly as they are too scared of these women. How do I get them off my case? I have apologised to the ring leader incase I might have done something and in the hope she might settle everyone down. BUT no, it just wont stop. Like a dripping tap.....so constant its wearing me down. I daren't go on the facebook group anymore and have actually had to block one mum because she just kept harrassing me. Any ideas on how to make it stop???

OP posts:
KateKateLee · 17/03/2023 18:31

Ijustdunnoanymore · 16/03/2023 13:18

Help, I need advice. My children havent been long at their new school. I recently volunteered for something and since then the mums from one class have been making my life really difficult. Nit picking at every tiny little thing I do. I have tried to remain calm but the nit picking has been constant over everything. Its like whack a mole. They glower at me, get their children to tell my children they don't like me. No one else volunteered for the task in question...I thought everyone would be relieved but they all seem to resent me. A few have emailed me their support but its all done quietly as they are too scared of these women. How do I get them off my case? I have apologised to the ring leader incase I might have done something and in the hope she might settle everyone down. BUT no, it just wont stop. Like a dripping tap.....so constant its wearing me down. I daren't go on the facebook group anymore and have actually had to block one mum because she just kept harrassing me. Any ideas on how to make it stop???

I'm sorry that this is happening to you, it sounds awful. Something similar happened to me but it was all to do with the PTA so I actually spoke to the head teacher about it. I'm not sure if they did anything but they were concerned that the behaviour would put others off joining the PTA. I hope things improve for you. Sometimes it's worse being a Mum in the playground than a child.

Hbee88 · 17/03/2023 19:16

Call them out. Bullies rely on you being too scared to question them. I’d message the ones that are being difficult directly with something along the lines of “hey, it seems that there’s some animosity/hard feelings surrounding x/y/z, which is a shame as obviously I feel bad if I’ve upset you. Would you like to talk about it?” Women like this like to think people are intimidated by them but when you think about it they’re just a grown bloody adult thinking they’re something special in a children’s playground 😂 they baffle me.

oakleaffy · 17/03/2023 19:54

Ijustdunnoanymore · 16/03/2023 13:41

I have given it my all. I checked and double checked but for this one thing......and this isnt the main gripe.....its just an example of the many constant finger pointing at me..........

Show quote history

The kid in question should have written it larger-
far better the old way when kids wrote on each other’s shirts.
Do not let these wretched women bully you!
Bullies need calling out.
As others have said, no one else wanted to do it-
Hopefully the bully mother’s kids are leaving? And with them- the Mothers!

Chin up!

Weallgottachangesometime · 17/03/2023 19:58

Do you need to interact with them? Can’t you reduce all possible interaction to the minimum eg block them on social media etc?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 17/03/2023 20:05

Call them all out on it every time and resign. Fuck ‘em. Life is way too short for that crap.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/03/2023 20:21

Ijustdunnoanymore · 16/03/2023 13:32

Leavers hoodies. :( I know... who would have thought.

You deserve a bloody medal @Ijustdunnoanymore not grief. Thankless task, well done for taking it on, sorry there are stupid mothers giving you aggravation, you’ll be shot of them soon x

Iseestupidpeople · 17/03/2023 21:09

Report to school and demand she be banned from playground.

Atovell · 17/03/2023 21:33

Tell these women that it is 2023 and mean girl antics were left in 2008. I call these people the ‘leftovers’ as they clearly are not up to date with how the world works now. Being nice and kind is definitely todays vibe (as it always should have been). Tell them to grow up and fuck off and don’t even look at them again. Sorry you’re being treated like this!

NannaKaren · 17/03/2023 22:07

Oh my - resign and bollocks to them ! Life is too short - goodness me what are they like ?!?!
Bitches 💔

changeme4this · 17/03/2023 22:19

It’s been my experience anyone who volunteers for anything cops a lot of unnecessary flak from people who equally could have stuck their hand up to assist but don’t…

lift your chin and ignore the silly cows! Get the embroiderer to fix the name and move on. I’m sure the school is grateful for your help.

BartsLongLostBro · 17/03/2023 22:21

Cunting cunts. Don't do the fucking hoodies. Stick with the nice ones. Do you need to move schools?

Annastacia1 · 18/03/2023 07:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MsHardbroom · 18/03/2023 07:49

This sounds like Heathers! Where is JD when ya need him!

Treacletoots · 18/03/2023 08:54

Urgh. I feel you and I've been in your exact situation OP. The same mums also got their children to bully ours and to this day we've no idea what we did wrong, except for not submitting to their ridiculously overbearing zero sugar approach and other .. anyway I digress.

In the end we moved schools because the bullying reached nuclear levels and the school failed miserably in dealing with it.

What in hindsight I wish I'd said to those parents was GO FUCK YOURSELVES. Instead of pandering to them. Show an ounce of weakness and they'll prey on you like a cheetah does a wildebeest. Stand up to bullies, it's the only way.

Grrrrdarling · 18/03/2023 09:24

Ijustdunnoanymore · 16/03/2023 13:18

Help, I need advice. My children havent been long at their new school. I recently volunteered for something and since then the mums from one class have been making my life really difficult. Nit picking at every tiny little thing I do. I have tried to remain calm but the nit picking has been constant over everything. Its like whack a mole. They glower at me, get their children to tell my children they don't like me. No one else volunteered for the task in question...I thought everyone would be relieved but they all seem to resent me. A few have emailed me their support but its all done quietly as they are too scared of these women. How do I get them off my case? I have apologised to the ring leader incase I might have done something and in the hope she might settle everyone down. BUT no, it just wont stop. Like a dripping tap.....so constant its wearing me down. I daren't go on the facebook group anymore and have actually had to block one mum because she just kept harrassing me. Any ideas on how to make it stop???

You are an adult so tell them straight to sort themselves out & grow up because they are making themselves look pathetic!

Document all of the attacks & involve the school or police, if you have to, if the bullying continues.
Online harassment carries an incarceration sentence!
At the end of the day abuse is abuse whatever form it takes!

They sound like a delightful bunch & to be honest I’d be looking for an alternative school if the school do not support you to sort the issue out as it is reflecting very badly on them; from my point of view.

T1Dmama · 18/03/2023 14:50

lieselotte · 16/03/2023 14:25

as a pp said, no good deed goes unpunished. Ride it out OP. Do you even need to be in the playground if your child is a rising 11? Can they come out and meet you down the road/meet you at the car/walk home on their own? I'd just stay out of the way until these stupid parents have found something else to moan about.

I’m assuming they’re leaving hoodies for juniors (year 6)

T1Dmama · 18/03/2023 15:35

I would be posting on the Facebook page that you’re aware that there are a few people that aren’t happy, however you were the only person volunteering to take on the task and you’ve done so with no help!! I would express that you’re very disappointed that some parents have taken it upon themselves to bully you and you DC over a very small typo….
I would then go into the school and make a complaint about the parents who are bullying you and passing on silly messages through your DC. Then I would stroll into school at pickup, head held high, ignore them all, let them bitch, most of the mums will see how awful they are and you might even gain friends as a result…
To be honest if it continued I might even involve the police….
I bet these horrid women have children who consider it fine to bully other kids….

T1Dmama · 18/03/2023 19:39

Justalittlebitduckling · 16/03/2023 17:31

I wonder if you should just double down and reply from now on, “the amount of aggro and unpleasantness I’m getting over these
hoodies is unreal. Frankly, I’m surprised at the behaviour of some parents who have been acting like teenagers. Nobody else volunteered to step up and arrange this; if you think you could have done a better job then you should have stepped up. I’ve had enough of how nasty some people are being over this.” If they already don’t like you, you’ve got nothing to lose. Sounds like you’ve been too nice with them.

Great response

BartsLongLostBro · 19/03/2023 04:23

Are you ok OP?

barmycatmum · 19/03/2023 04:30

Good lord. This sounds like something straight out of the film Disenchanted.

I am so sorry this is happening. Cannot believe people like this exist.

I hope some of the other women stand with you - bullies are absolutely horrible.

frenchfancy81 · 19/03/2023 04:43

iwontforgetyoumyfriendwhathappened · 16/03/2023 13:53

I'm shocked the school haven't sorted the hoodies themselves tbh, it's never been a parent council role in our school. Seems silly to put that pressure on a parent- we have an email from depute head to ask size needed and requesting payment and that's it. They get the sizes double checked before they're made and then they receive them around May for finishing up school in June. Easy peasy.
I don't think it's ok for anyone to be bullying you OP and would suggest you speak with the ringleader directly to ask if there is an issue and how she would like it resolved. That will push her to have to think about what she is doing at least.

Funny how things differ, isn't it, as I have been a y6 teacher for 7 years (luckily not consecutively!!) and the parents have always done the hoodies- never been anything to do with the school.

CJsGoldfish · 19/03/2023 06:48

They glower at me, get their children to tell my children they don't like me
What exactly does this look like OP? They whisper to their children on the playground, their children run to yours and pass on the message and it then gets passed to you?

Is this the 'bullying' you are referring to?

Original poster
Ijustdunnoanymore · 19/03/2023 08:58

Thank you for all your kind messages and practical advice. The hoodies have now all been printed and I have dropped them off at school for distribution. So far things seem to have gone quiet again which is brilliant.
I am still getting glowered at in the playground but it matters less now I have some of your advice in my head. Absolutely dreading/yet also looking forward to the children finally getting their hoodies......as I expect a few negative comments but also so I can draw a line under the whole sorry episode. I am also really proud that despite all the agro I managed to sort them.
If you did leave a kind and/or helpful comment thank you - I really appreciated it. Am so used to negativity I had braced myself for a backlash.

OP posts:
itsjustnotok · 19/03/2023 12:40

iwontforgetyoumyfriendwhathappened · 16/03/2023 13:53

I'm shocked the school haven't sorted the hoodies themselves tbh, it's never been a parent council role in our school. Seems silly to put that pressure on a parent- we have an email from depute head to ask size needed and requesting payment and that's it. They get the sizes double checked before they're made and then they receive them around May for finishing up school in June. Easy peasy.
I don't think it's ok for anyone to be bullying you OP and would suggest you speak with the ringleader directly to ask if there is an issue and how she would like it resolved. That will push her to have to think about what she is doing at least.

none of the schools in our area get involved in leavers stuff. The hoodies etc have always been sorted by parents.

T1Dmama · 19/03/2023 13:20

itsjustnotok · 19/03/2023 12:40

none of the schools in our area get involved in leavers stuff. The hoodies etc have always been sorted by parents.

Show quote history

my daughters old juniors never did these till about 3 years ago. One of the mums on the PTA wanted hoodies for the kids to wear on their residential trip and then at leavers do. She then she proceeded to do it for both her sons years and then very kindly did it for my daughters year even though she no longer had kids there. She was on the PTA & very proactive in fund raising… she was well respected and didn’t take any BS… the PTA wasn’t snobby and I often helped out, people weren’t nasty in general. I never get it… people must be very bored and unhappy to be so unkind