I am being bullied by other mums in the playground

[Ijustdunnoanymore]

Help, I need advice. My children havent been long at their new school. I recently volunteered for something and since then the mums from one class have been making my life really difficult. Nit picking at every tiny little thing I do. I have tried to remain calm but the nit picking has been constant over everything. Its like whack a mole. They glower at me, get their children to tell my children they don't like me. No one else volunteered for the task in question...I thought everyone would be relieved but they all seem to resent me. A few have emailed me their support but its all done quietly as they are too scared of these women. How do I get them off my case? I have apologised to the ring leader incase I might have done something and in the hope she might settle everyone down. BUT no, it just wont stop. Like a dripping tap.....so constant its wearing me down. I daren't go on the facebook group anymore and have actually had to block one mum because she just kept harrassing me. Any ideas on how to make it stop???

I like this approach too. I never found bullies went away either. They just worked harder and harder to get a reaction.

Yikes. I was going to volunteer to do hoodies for my y6 boy!

What did you apologise for?

What exactly are these grown adults doing?

Seems so weird I would not let this get to me, who wants to be Queen bitch of the playground above the age of 12?
I would tell their children that if their mums have an issue to come to me instead of using innocent children.

Set up your own girl gang and school and just keep smiling at them, kill them with kindness.

My wonderful friend, who had children well before me, told me a little while after I’d given birth “just remember, some people are arseholes and just because your child is at the same school as their child and they’re a fellow mum, it doesn’t stop them being massive arseholes.” I always thought it was really odd advice to give a new mum, but now navigating the school years, it makes total sense 😂 😂
Sorry, no advice OP, just my sympathies that you’re trying to do something nice and being treated awfully. Some school bullies really never do grow up!

This is excellent advice from @FartSock5000 .

Also in relation to this comment posted by @Daffodilfrog - "The key here is that these are leavers hoodies - you are going to get away from these horrible mums pretty soon !" This may or may not be accurate if the hoodies were for an older sibling and the younger one is still in the school for example. I'd hope that the parent in question would realise the error of their ways.

Worst case scenario, put it back on the parents who are complaining. They didn't step up to offer their time/effort/unparalleled skills when the school came asking but you did. Perhaps if they had been as generous with their time as they have been with their insults/harassment of you, the "errors" they see on the hoodies may not be there but who is to know, because they never stepped up.

Turn their lazy ass attitude right back at them.

If it's leavers hoodies why are you on the playground at all assuming your kid is leaving primary school? It will all be over very soon!

Well sure but that particular parent group won't exist from next September so it's really a non issue. Most parents aren't arseholes and don't care about leavers hoodies or anything like that.

That sounds utterly shit. Leavers hoodie were a thing with DDs year, she is now in Y10. She joined in year 5 and I was asked to volunteer to do it.
"Yes I would rather DD have no hoodie than me be required to organise it" was the level of blunt needed.
2 others did it. What an absolute palaver, over layered by some level of semi hysteria that they were leaving their childhoods behind and every thing was somehow a symbol. It took them forever and 2 lots of hoodies replaced due to some mistake at the printers. Luckily DD was my third so I knew to take cover.
Are both you're moving up? Is it just the year 6 parents that are bitching? I'd report poor child behaviour to the school. Poor parent to the PTA and exit swiftly.

The idea of leaving primary and going out into the big bad world of secondary does seem to send some parents over the edge OP and this may well have an impact on how you’ve been treated - I would do your absolute best just to
rise above it

Gosh everything is so consumerist now. Can they not write their names on each others shirts on the last day?
OP I think you should threaten to down tools. Cheeky bastards.

I think the type of bullying needs to be clearer because to be honest, even though it's an honest mistake, leaving a child's name out is a legitimate reason to be upset. If however, its the sort of thing @BaconMassive flagged in her post - complaints that they want it done differently etc etc etc - then I recommend you handle it with the aplomb our class rep did when, weeks into end-of-year teacher present collection and planning, one of the mums suggested an entirely new approach. Her response was polite, but firm and along the lines of, "I have spent too long on the way we all agreed to do it to even consider such a change now. If you'd like to take that on in the next week, please feel free." I was cheering her on madly!!!

It seems then that every school has this type of mums, like bridezillas but about kids parties. And usually are the ones less likely to be labelled as intelligent and efficient too.
Never apology, you are not in the wrong. I have to say that no hoodie or leavers party should affect your mental health.

Hopefully, but I was surprised how many parents had kids in the same years as mine - I guess two or three years is a very common age gap. Some mums were definitely ‘the ‘gift’ that kept on giving.’

How petty shouldn't the issue with the hoodies be on the buisness that printed them not you?

Just stop volunteering some mum's never grow up. It's like they are getting to relive high school again its pathetic they have no life or hobbies outside of the DCs school. I dropped my DD off left (no small talk or bitching) and now she walks with her friends to school as she's nearing end of primary. I never have to see the mums and it's bliss ! Feel sorry for them as when DC have left primary school they will have nothing to do.

My friend had this exact type of bullying in the playground. She was upset for months. I'd go with her for moral support when I could. It stopped when the ringleader actually died under anaesthetic ( I know!). Drastic. They never tried it with me because I'm a gobby northerner but it was still awful. In a few years this will be a thing of memory only.

Yes, no good dead goes unpunished!

It's the same for work, don't offer to do more than you have to, you will not be thanked! If anything you'll get nothing for it but venom.

I've had extensive experience of bullying.

Fuck them, walk away. It won't get better. They don't deserve your valuable time.

Oh god some parents are just absolute arseholes. We generally take it in turn to staff up our pta bar for events by year group and the last time I did it some of the parents buying drinks were just utter bellends. They must have know we weren’t professional bar staff but we’re doing their best to look pissed off and rude when we were slow at serving/with the pricing. It still gives me the rage now. Basically the old saying of no good deed goes unpunished is very true.

They sound like a bunch of twats.

Next time, approach said bully, ask her publicly what her problem is… then tell her you would appreciate it if she was upfront right now otherwise to shut her vile mouth.

Oh, also add if she dares to pass feeble messages through your child again you will be be involving the headteacher and raising your concerns with regards to her inappropriate parenting.

They probably say it in front of their own children, who then tell OP's child

Honestly, this situation is as old as time. Not the leavers hoodies, just the gaggle of bitchy mums and the nastiness that ensues. My kids are full grown but I still remember it well!! I used to dread picking my kids up, watching a particular queen Bee and her cronies holding court 😒no words of advice, but my total sympathy!

I'm not from the UK so I don't understand, i've tried to google it but that didn't help... Can someone explain what does 'sorting leavers hoodies' mean? I'm sooooo curious now!

Just take them to school office, leave them there and send a Facebook message saying you can no longer help due to personal issues and they need collecting. Then leave the Facebook group. Why on earth are you even engaging with these people any more?