I am being bullied by other mums in the playground

[Ijustdunnoanymore]

Help, I need advice. My children havent been long at their new school. I recently volunteered for something and since then the mums from one class have been making my life really difficult. Nit picking at every tiny little thing I do. I have tried to remain calm but the nit picking has been constant over everything. Its like whack a mole. They glower at me, get their children to tell my children they don't like me. No one else volunteered for the task in question...I thought everyone would be relieved but they all seem to resent me. A few have emailed me their support but its all done quietly as they are too scared of these women. How do I get them off my case? I have apologised to the ring leader incase I might have done something and in the hope she might settle everyone down. BUT no, it just wont stop. Like a dripping tap.....so constant its wearing me down. I daren't go on the facebook group anymore and have actually had to block one mum because she just kept harrassing me. Any ideas on how to make it stop???

@NatashaDancing @Sannesmom

LMGTFY

www.leavershoodies.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_MqgBhAGEiwAnYOAegTywlVWG9cNVZ56LjGYV1EKY3NH2rF_rMRZG1iDT49Gpe6mBWbqHhoCJB0QAvD_BwE

Wow this is a real example of no good deed goes unpunished. Do what you can to sort it out and never volunteer again. what arseholes.

I heavily disagree with this statement.

I had an adult just like you give me this exact same advice and the bullying did not let up in fact it got worse and worse for the next three months until a kid threw their ice cream in my face and the entire class joined in.

I attempted suicide at the youthful age of nine because of it. Only then did they stop because the school had to have an actual assembly about it and the ring leader bullies were suspemded.

Thanks so much for the advice Portia!

Op this is awful. I did year 6 PTA. Bloody nightmare. I have an eclectic family. 'School Gate Gorgons' still spread nasty stories about my family 13 years later. We were wealthy then not.
I agree with the other ladies, resign or say 'if you can do better, step this way, fill your boots'. Hopefully they are not all at your DCs secondary school? However I have to say my 19 year old DD wears her hoodie now. She had a happy time there. From13 few kids listen to their parents anyway. #ditchthebitch this is what my young staff say.

Your answer to every moan and complaint needs to be the same. Well if you think you could have done better then you should have stepped up and taken the job or at least helped instead of moaning about it every step of the way. Lesson learned for you Huh?

They are bloody awful to organise. Luckily the head took charge and dictated the style and lettering etc. When they came to me I was like sorry school made that decision

I totally believe it. The lower the stakes, the crazier (some) people will act.

Not worth it. Just drop it. Tonight. Email whomever and say "I don't have time to do this anymore. Someone else can take it 9ver. Thanks!" And let them all eat each other.

Are you part of my ex pta? Leavers hoodies cause the most stress ever! That’s why no one wants to do them the head of ours nearly had a breakdown the last time she did them. Sorry no help but I feel the pain!

Bloody Hell. I thought you were going to say you'd signed up to shag all their husbands.

I am lost for words, OP.

I’ve never heard of leavers hoodies before (mines in reception) but I’m making a mental note never to organise it!

Stuff like this is unfortunately why I'd never get involved in a PTA. Massive unreasonable generalisation, but it seems like lots of cliquey women sniping at each other and trying to get on the heads good side like it's a popularity contest.

Apologise, have a word with the head that you'd like to step back, take a deep breath and do so.
It is not worth it x

A similar scenario occurred at our primary op. Alpha female bully mum took ‘offence’ at a trivial thing another mum said and a full-on gang of mums turned on her, basically telling her that her behaviour towards bully mum was out of order (it really wasn’t!). The picked upon mum was outcast from the mum friendship group for all primary.
At high school the bully’s child was lonely and diagnosed with special needs and was gradually increasing left out of her friendship circle, as was her mum from the original bully mums’ friendship circle. And guess who the bully’s child latched onto? The child of the lady that her mum had isolated throughout primary school. And the original bullied mum and her child were kind, friendly and gracious to the child and their bully mum. Class.

In my experience , some PTA do tend to think they’re above the rest of us mere mortals, no offence meant .

Chair or not.. I’d not be involving you .

I have a lovely relationship with our head and I’d be talking to her directly myself with no other involvement from anyone else.

Could you tell them to fuck off and sort it out themselves next time OP?

And she'll go round next week complaining nobody helps. This is why.

Sorry they're giving you a hard time, OP.
I was on all the committees and parent groups and parent/teacher committees (not UK) in my DCs school because i didn't know the system and it was the easiest way for me to get info and understand what was going on.

I soon learned to grow a thick skin and say, loudly with witnesses: well, none of you wanted to do it, so you can suck my way up, or you can do it yourselves. You have 5 minutes to decide.

Without knowing the details it's unclear who's being unreasonable. You're describing how you feel and how you believe they feel. If you've messed up people are going to notice and comment. If I'd commented and you were defensive telling me that all the other names were correct I'd be pretty pissed off. That's like spelling something wrong on a poster and saying "It's only one letter".
Can you 'fix' the mistake (scratching off the wrong bit then reprinting) or is it so big you need to start again.
I'd imagine it's your blase attitude they're annoyed out and they're not actually bullying, just pointing things out which you're minimising.

Of course anyone who offers to do anything should remain mindful of the adage
No good deed goes unpunished!

Just what about about the ‘finger pointing’??

Why? I don't believe anyone would actually wear that.

Indeed. I suspect 95% of them get worn once and left in a cupboard after that.

That's just awful, how can people be like that? Tell the school, cut all ties with the group and find something else worthwhile to help with. Xx

I hate leavers Hoodies. I hate when I see kids walking round in them, their first name emblazoned on them.

PTA shit is horrible. A bunch of cliquey females with nothing to do but be passive aggressive to each other, slag each other off constantly, make people like you @Ijustdunnoanymore feel awful and generally just be vile. I know a fair few teachers and they all say whilst the small amount of funding they produce is nice, it's just not worth the aggro.
In fact, the first thing the head at my DCs secondary do when she took over 10 years ago was to outright ban the PTA.

Honestly, either tell them to piss off and leave you to it, or suggest they finish the bloody things.

Send a message saying that due to the behaviour of a few you will no longer be sorting out leavers hoodies. It’s not worth any sort of hassle. If the bitchy women want leavers hoodies they can sort it out.
THIS

Leavers hoodies are a minefield!
Something similar kicked off at my DCs school, lots of arguments about whether individual names should be on front under logo , design, price, etc etc then a spelling error on one child's name ( which tbh is a really important thing to get right) nightmare.
But some mums are extremely controlling when it comes to PTA / leavers party / events.
Tbh my DC rarely wore their year 6 hoodie once they left primary school as they considered themselves to grown up once they got to secondary school. But they are a nice keepsake.