Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

Original poster

Kid keeps attacking my 3 year old

130 replies

Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 16:15

So I'm fuming right now! Angry

My 3 year old dd keeps getting hit and pushed and kicked by the same kid at her nursery.

Now this kid has special needs and whilst I do understand (my niece is autistic) I don't understand why nothing is being done about it. I'm not angry at him (well I am a bit, he hurt my baby) nor am I angry at his parents (slightly annoyed) I'm furious with his care givers, that they know he lashes out yet nothing is being done.

He went to her old nursery and bit her twice on the same finger, breaking the skin both times and I didn't realise he had moved over to her new nursery until I saw him a couple of weeks ago and it all clicked together all the time she was coming home saying xxxxx had hurt her again.

As soon as I realised he was there I immediately took her teachers to the side and quietly explained their history and he seems to have taken a disliking to her, they assured me they would be vigilant in watching and on hand if any situation looks like it's forming.

I pick her up today to be called into the classroom and she is uncontrollably crying and they inform me she has hit her eye, it's only once we've got home and her eye has swollen up and turned into a black eye and I ask her what happened and she again tells me xxxxx has thumped her in the eye.

I am beyond angry and waiting for her next nursery day to get to the bottom of this, she wouldn't say someone did something if they didn't and I said a few of the other kids names and she assured me it was him.

Why is the nursery not doing anything about it? Why did they lie to me? Why aren't they getting this boy the help he so obviously needs? My dd isn't the first child he's gone for, I've had several conversations with other parents of children he's hurt.

I already struggle to get her in there every morning let alone with all this now going on.

I don't care if I'm over reacting I'm not having this!!!! How would you guys handle it?

OP posts:
LouKout · 13/03/2017 18:08

Its a bit nasty to be angry at his parents too..sorry.

Anyway sorry your kid is hurt and i bope you get the situation resolved :)

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:08

Right I'm out. Just for the record, if you take the same attitude with the nursery as you've taken on here, I can't see you getting very far.

F1ipFlopFrus · 13/03/2017 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AriaVitiello · 13/03/2017 18:15

The OP's child has got a black eye. The OP has posted at a time of high emotion at the end of a-not-so-great day.

Sesh, there have been some harsh responses. We all want the best for our children, SEN or otherwise. The OP has clearly said the her major beef is with the caregivers, not the other child or the other parents. Give her a break.

BackforGood · 13/03/2017 18:17

....don't accuse people of things, it's nasty Shock

Can you not see the irony OP ?
You put this in 'Bullying'.
You say this child is targeting your dd.

Yes other posters are being nasty ??!!!!

To look at this paragraph from your opening post -

Why is the nursery not doing anything about it? They almost certainly are.
Why did they lie to me? ER - about what? Why are you accusing them of lying ? Confused
Why aren't they getting this boy the help he so obviously needs? Because there is no - well, okay, a tiny fraction of 1% of the - funding needed to support Nurseries to support dc with additional needs.
My dd isn't the first child he's gone for, I've had several conversations with other parents of children he's hurt Gossiping about a child with other parents is disgraceful, You should be ashamed of yourself, and have some compassion for the little boy and his parents.

I have every understanding of you being upset that your dd has been hurt, but you are going about this completely the wrong way, which is why you are losing sympathy on this thread.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:20

Sesh, there have been some harsh responses

I wasn't harsh, in the slightest, yet OP ignored a couple of my comments to roundly have a pop at other posters then bit back accusing me of being nasty.

Ylvamoon · 13/03/2017 18:29

Mama, having been in a similar situation, I strongly recommend a meeting with nursery staff & management.
You have to explain the incident (and any concerns) from your child's point of view - they have a duty of care towards your child and it is the nursery responsibility to provide a safe environment.

Don't talk about the other child's needs & otherwise, they are not allowed to disclose any information... and it will get you nowhere.

Good luck- your child does matter!

LouKout · 13/03/2017 18:30

"Your child does matter"

Yup thats the sort of usual thing on these threads. Who said her child didnt matter?

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 18:32

Backforgood obviously I've posted this in the wrong category but it's pathetic that people can't get past that.

They are not doing anything about it as it's continuously happening

They lied to me saying she hit it on a table

Our nursery does get 1-2-1 funding as MY NIECE WHO HAS AUTISM has it

And we aren't gossiping how dare you say we should be ashamed of ourselves.

So we are supposed to just not do anything and stay silent because he has SN?

Like I said before my issue is not with the kid or his parents it's with the bloody nursery!!!!

Yes I am allowed to be a bit angry when my 3 year old comes home with a black eye because another child has hit her? Or am I not allowed any emotions or not allowed to do anything?

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:34

Not one single poster suggested that OPs DD doesn't matter that would be an awful thing to say. I suggested that strategies and approaches need to be different based on the wee boy having SN. I also empathised with how OP must be feeling citing 2 examples of my own kids being hurt at school/nursery. That was completely ignored, until I dared suggest she was looking for a fight, which is the only post that she responded to proving my point incidentally.

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 18:36

Thank you to those who have actually been kind and given me helpful advice I am gonna try to schedule a meeting to discuss the safeguarding issue.

To those being just plain nasty and attacking you've made this whole thing way more stressful and upsetting than it had to be, I just wanted some advice parent to parent and its heartbreaking that this is the result

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:39

At the risk of sounding like a 5 year old, you ignored all my posts where I was trying to offer sympathy and constructive advice and then you attacked me.

Badders123 · 13/03/2017 18:39

No you aren't allowed to be overly emotional
Or shout
Or swear
Because it will detract from what you are
Trying to say!
You need to make an appt with the manager and insist that they tell you their plans to keep your child safe - take notes if you feel you will get upset and forget what you want to say.
But by all means keep ignoring us....

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 18:39

I'm not tryig to start a fight and it's disgusting you'd suggest that there's so many comments and at the time I was tryig to cook for my family or am I a bad person for that now too? I appreciate you understand how I feel as a parent you want your child to be safe but I'm disgusted that people are acting like I'm picking on him

OP posts:
Flypaperforarseholes · 13/03/2017 18:41

Mamalexi343 Your daughter has been physically hurt and left very upset from a day at nursery. You have been told by nursery staff that the injury was accidental and have since found out that it was caused by another child. I can understand why you are upset. I would be upset, too. I would approach the nursery and ask them how they believe the injury occurred, then explain what your DD has told you and your concerns that she has become a target for the other child.
For those saying that children of this age do not bully or target other children, I don't believe this is true. My godson has SN and is on the spectrum. There is a particular girl at his nursery whom he has taken a dislike to and has repeatedly hurt from the day they started, completely unprovoked as far as anyone is aware. My godsons parents insisted on him being moved to the other class to minimise their interaction.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:41

When you're only responding to posters you are angry with and actively ignoring empathy/constructive advice, what am I supposed to think? It's a horrible situation for you OP and for your DD, but when you only respond aggressively what do you expect to happen?

Badders123 · 13/03/2017 18:41

If you wanted lots of people to agree with you and plenty of frothing righteousness then perhaps Aibu would have been the place to post?

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 18:44

The only reason I'm so angry is because of you guys, I've actually already written out what I'm going to say there's no accusing no name calling just trying to get to the bottom of this, this is why I don't join parent and child groups is because parents can be so bitchy if you dare say anything about your own opinion

OP posts:
Badders123 · 13/03/2017 18:45

Don't ask about the other child
They cannot tell you anything - data protection and safeguarding.
In fact if this thread is in any way identifying I would suggest asking mnhq to delete it

LouKout · 13/03/2017 18:45

Noones attacked you

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:47

So you've called me nasty, bitchy and disgusting but I'm the one being unreasonable? Pffft.
In all seriousness though, you do need to meet with nursery staff and management and they do need to lay out how they're going to keep your child safe. It's their job.

Expellibramus · 13/03/2017 18:47

I think you've not just chosen the wrong topic OP but the wrong site altogether.

You're not being unreasonable to feel upset about this and ask for advice but it looks like you're probably not going to get it.

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 18:47

For goodness sake I posted it in the wrong place I'm sorry ok?!! If that's all you care about I've said I'm sorry now just stop

There's been more negative comments than good and you're telling me you don't want to defend yourself?

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 13/03/2017 18:48

I DIDN'T ATTACK YOU! I tried to help and you kicked off.

Original poster
Mamalexi343 · 13/03/2017 18:48

Right well I thank you for your advice let's just leave it at that

OP posts: