Group of 30 from DD's school lured her to the park to attack, mug, and humiliate her

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I'm absolutely going out of my mind with worry and my daughter is hysterical and is refusing to come out of her room, and is refusing to go to school tomorrow. I want to phone the police but she is begging me not to, so I need advice from my fellow mums of teens.

So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 14, and started a new school 6 months ago. She fitted in extremely well at first, and befriended some of the girls from the "popular" clique. She was out nearly every day after school and at the weekends, they'd go into town or each others houses. I was thrilled because in her previous school she had always been left out, we moved school so she could have a fresh start, and it worked, so I though at the time.

Around a month ago, DD went into school and suddenly this group blanked her. The "clique" consists of around 30 people in her year, and is a mix of boys and girls. DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this. In the weeks that followed, only one girl from the clique was still "friends" with her, and she claimed she had also been blanked by the clique. This was a lie as we'd later find out. On Friday, DD got a text from the friend asking if she wanted to meet up at the park and get something to eat in town afterwards. DD thought her and this girl were best friends, so she agreed.

DD walked to the park, and she says the friend was waiting for her at the gates, and told her "I have something amazing to show you.", and led her to the other end of the park. What awaited her, were 30 kids from her year standing in the field. She says the majority of the "clique" were there. They ran up to her, took pictures of her, hit her, pulled her hair and took her phone. The ones that weren't attacking her stood and watched, while laughing and filming. After they'd left (the attack lasted at least half an hour my DD said) she ran home and told me what happened. She's been locked up in her room most of the weekend and I let her miss school Monday and today, that may have been the wrong move but I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again.

I know I need to send her back to school tomorrow and we are both sick to our stomachs at the thought, but we already had the LEA on our backs a few months ago when we went on holiday for a week during term time. I wish I could just keep her safe at home for the rest of the year. I don't know what to do :(

Bluntness100 It's just devastated me that they are like this. DD was always a shy girl who struggled socialising and she was so thrilled and happy when she came home from her new school after her first day 6 months ago and she suddenly had this ready made group of "friends". I think she is embarrassed as she would always boast to me about what good friends they were, and now this has happened. I've tried to reassure her that none of this is her fault.

I was just thinking, if these kids were 4 years older their behaviour would be considered bordering on obsessive and psychotic. I wonder what must've been going on in their heads to be able to watch this happen and laugh, and film.

What a fucking awful ordeal for your poor dd
I hope the fuckers get charged

I don't understand it either, but whatever type of behaviour it is, I hope to hell its criminal.

Is the phone still stolen, or did they give it back? My heart goes out to your child; and thank you for backing her up.

You already have a good record via this thread, but I recommend that you write down a timeline of everything that's happened, including a summary of all the videos (that you're aware of) circulating on social media, the photoshopped images etc. The threats and harrassment are happening on so many different platforms, it'll help if you can document as much as possible.

If they really have many other students suffering assault, bullying and death threats then even more reason to have nothing more to do with the school.

OP one thing I noticed in your OP is that you said you 'DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this'. It is really important that both you and she know that she did nothing to trigger any of this. The original blanking, the attack or the death threats. She has done nothing wrong at all.

Bullies bully because they are bullies, not because of anything their victims do or do not do.

WestleyAndButtockUp They grabbed her phone off her during the attack, apparently tried to unlock it to get to her social media profiles but threw it back to her after they discovered it required a pin code.

so sorry about what has happened.

"The only other school within our catchment is way over full capacit" - you would have a good and strong case to appeal for a place if you think this school would be ok for your dd.

in the meantime get CAMHS and make sure LEA offers alternative educational support - there may be a supportive tutor group available locally for vulnerable pupils which she can access. I think LEA has a responsibility here to support your dd.

My dd has ASD and this is the stuff of my nightmares. It's just so premeditated and organised in its execution. It's a campaign and for that I hope the police are tough on this one. There's assault, threats to kill and misuse of telecoms to pick from there. Probably more.
How was your dd supposed to know they were capable of this? It's not normal behaviour. She shouldn't feel foolish because there are all us grown adults absolutely horrified at what they did. Only the school seem to think this is a minor thing.

This is heartbreaking to read. Can't imagine how hard it is for your both right now.
Firstly, I would deregister her from the school immediately. She can't go back there and face daily people who betrayed her so horrifically.

Secondly, I would contact the LEA and ask for a meeting with someone as high up as you can to discuss the school's appalling handling of the incident and their lack of response and compassion.

If you go along the home ed route, in your situation and after what your dd has gone through, you may qualify for some home tuition.

A referral to CAMHS might help and they should support you in home ed and home tuition.

It is appalling that this school would have been quite happy to brush this under the carpet and not deal with it properly. They should have been the ones who called the police in as soon as they were aware of the incident.

I think the worst part of all is that it was clearly planned & premeditated, perhaps for months, while DD carried on as usual with her new "friends" - just awful

This made for horrendous reading. I'm so sorry, OP!

The sadistic little shits. I hope your dd recovers well from this. I hope the little shits get convicted.

Oh OP your poor poor DD. I'm so glad that the police are already in the school and seem to be taking this seriously. I'm utterly appalled that senior staff (or any staff) were aware of this and did nothing to contact you or offer support. What the hell were they thinking off - I hope that the police interview them as witnesses and they get some realisation of exactly how bl**dy serious this whole thing is.

Its good your dd is calming down a bit and resting now. Can you plan something for tomorrow to give her a change of scene - a walk in the countryside and lunch out or trip to the cinema, go to a rock climbing centre?? - anything to distract her and give her something different to focus on.

Yes to contacting the LEA and the governors and also try your local councillor so they can push this with the relevant people to make sure its taken very seriously.

So glad I don't know who these children are because I feel the desire to give the whole lot of them a good thrashing and she's not even my little girl - god alone knows how you feel

In know your priority is your lovely daughter (I hope she is feeling as ok as she can at the moment), but if you have the energy left I would be pushing this further with the school. Their response is shocking. And far from appropriate. To the extent that I cannot believe it. At my own school you would have been contacted straight away with what they say they know. I can not comprehend a school that functions with such a disregard for the pastoral care of their students. They deserve to be 'outed'. Your daughter does not. Therefore I would be contacting governors and safeguarding people at the Local Authority. They are not caring for their students in any way and things clearly need to change there!

OP don't deregister her from the school -all that does it take any responsibility they have for her education away and place it all on your shoulders!!

Keep in touch with the police and explain that your daughter doesn't feel safe to return (the LA too if the school isn't an academy). Don't send her back - the school has a legal responsibility to still be supplying her with work, and marking that work, as LONG as you DON'T deregister her!

Keep ringing the school (and I'd be inclined to demand to meet with the head, this is def a head matter) and keep demanding to know what they are putting in place to ensure you daughter's a) safety and b) continued progress.

Please, don't make things easier for them by deregistering!!

ps at my school we would have called the police ourselves!!

This is horrific.
Awful for her and you.

I have nothing to add that others haven't already said but couldn't read and not post a message of support.

Can I just clarify one point ... did the school at any point contact the police themselves, or have the police gone in there purely as a result of OP's report?

I ask because I linked this thread to a HT friend, whose immediate response was that the school should have reported it, informed the parent that this had been done and then taken it from there

She also made the point that the school may well now try to distance themselves and refuse to talk with OP because it's "a police matter"

Police matter or not surely they have a duty to ensure the safety and continued education of their pupil?

Puzzledandpissedoff As far as I know, they didn't contact the police themselves. When I went in all they did was print of a bloody copy of the anti bullying policy (the nerve...) and read it to my face, before coming out with that useless "safe space" offer.

Of course they do, lists ... it's just that they might choose to limit what they discuss with OP, based on the police involvement

Which would also have the benefit (for them) of reducing the number of awkward questions they might face ...

Head Teacher and Deputy head are out in Spain for the next week with the Year 10's according to the website. Arghhhh

Oh my goodness OP, your poor dd. That is absolutely horrific. Well done on calling the police etc. The school aren't doing close to enough IMO. They were aware of it yet didn't contact you or the police themselves?!
I wouldn't send my DD back their either.

OP I am so sorry your lovely daughter has had this awful experience, I'm glad she's safe now, she will need a lot of support yet absolutely none of this is her fault.

The school need castigating in the most severe way, their handling of this situation is beyond appalling, they have failed your daughter in every way and they are desperately trying to minimise the situation, saying they have some troubled children ...well fine, but who was supposed to be supervising these troubled children to stop them drifting into this type of sick behaviour?

Please be prepared for the parents of those kids involved to minimise their kid's role in these heinous acts, you will hear every excuse under the sun about how their special snowflake is easily led and it was just a prank that got out of hand or that the kids involved are troubled etc.

Don't listen to the excuses OP, and there will be loads, I hope the Police can prosecute each and every one of the teens that decided they wanted to be involved in this disgusting behaviour, including the ones who even after the main event in the park thought they'd send your daughter death threats and images of suicides with her face photoshopped onto them.

Here's a question or two for the parents of these little dears.
Where were you when all this was being planned? It takes some organisation to carry out an attack like the one at the park, it's not a spontaneous event, it's premeditated and coldly calculated.
Why weren't you monitoring your teen's online activity?

You need to apologise, apologise and apologise some more to the OP for what her daughter has gone through and punish your child severely for what they did, do not start excusing their disgusting behaviour.

Monitor all of your little dears' online and social activity for the next 12 or more months, they are not responsible enough to be left to do so alone.

I hope each and every one of the teens that engaged in this disgusting behaviour receives the most severe sanction the Police and the Law can give.