Group of 30 from DD's school lured her to the park to attack, mug, and humiliate her

[user1468352691]

I'm absolutely going out of my mind with worry and my daughter is hysterical and is refusing to come out of her room, and is refusing to go to school tomorrow. I want to phone the police but she is begging me not to, so I need advice from my fellow mums of teens.

So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 14, and started a new school 6 months ago. She fitted in extremely well at first, and befriended some of the girls from the "popular" clique. She was out nearly every day after school and at the weekends, they'd go into town or each others houses. I was thrilled because in her previous school she had always been left out, we moved school so she could have a fresh start, and it worked, so I though at the time.

Around a month ago, DD went into school and suddenly this group blanked her. The "clique" consists of around 30 people in her year, and is a mix of boys and girls. DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this. In the weeks that followed, only one girl from the clique was still "friends" with her, and she claimed she had also been blanked by the clique. This was a lie as we'd later find out. On Friday, DD got a text from the friend asking if she wanted to meet up at the park and get something to eat in town afterwards. DD thought her and this girl were best friends, so she agreed.

DD walked to the park, and she says the friend was waiting for her at the gates, and told her "I have something amazing to show you.", and led her to the other end of the park. What awaited her, were 30 kids from her year standing in the field. She says the majority of the "clique" were there. They ran up to her, took pictures of her, hit her, pulled her hair and took her phone. The ones that weren't attacking her stood and watched, while laughing and filming. After they'd left (the attack lasted at least half an hour my DD said) she ran home and told me what happened. She's been locked up in her room most of the weekend and I let her miss school Monday and today, that may have been the wrong move but I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again.

I know I need to send her back to school tomorrow and we are both sick to our stomachs at the thought, but we already had the LEA on our backs a few months ago when we went on holiday for a week during term time. I wish I could just keep her safe at home for the rest of the year. I don't know what to do :(

Oh my god i am reading this (i have only read the OPs posts) with my stomach in my mouth. Your poor DD.

I have no words other than

xxx

I'm glad to hear you're de-registering your daughter, as a former victim of this sort of thing at school the worst thing for her mental health right now would be to force her to continue going there whilst the school does nothing and all the children gawp and put the spotlight on her.

I'm really sorry for what your poor daughter has been through, I hope the police do a good job and give those nasty bullies what they deserve. CAMHs can be slow with referrals, in the meantime if it's an option I would get her to speak to someone privately just so that she has some help and isn't left to linger.

The fact that the head and the deputy head didn't run out of their bloody offices to meet with you says everything you need to know about this school IMO.

What on earth can possibly going on there today that is more important to deal with than a mass assault on one of their pupils???

Its the talk of the school but they didn't even contact you??

They have reports that your DD is going to commit suicide and didn't contact you

If I was that head/deputy I'd just clear my desk out

Don't de-register her from school in haste, it might be easier to access services like CAMHs or counselling through the school. Definitely keep her off though, and those absences will affect their attendance statistics. I would worry that de-registering would simply allow the school to wash their hands of the whole thing. It would also make it easier for transfer of records etc if she gets a place at the other school.

I think to be honest at this point I would be engaging a solicitor and getting them to write to each child's family threatening legal action for harassment, bullying and intimidation and any other threats the solicitor can throw their way. Also you may have a case against the school as they have failed in their duty of care to protect your child, once they became aware of the situation. Lets face it they knew and were saying nothing to see what you would do first.

Oh your poor girl.
I think you're making the right decision to keep her home.
Her school sound utterly appalling I'd be temped to report them to OFSTED as well as everything else to be honest. Their bullying policy is clearly not good enough, I don't see how the head teacher can claim she has any leadership of the school when she knows things like this are going on and couldn't even make herself available to talk to you.

I can't believe the teacher told you the entire school was talking about the assault, and your daughter hurting herself and not one single teacher had the common courtesy to pick up the phone and contact you to check in with you, when she didn't come into school, that is utterly disgusting on their part.

for you and you dd

OP, I am so sorry your daughter suffered this disgusting attack. Very glad you called the police though, the evil fuckers that did this need bringing to justice.
I hope you and your DD can get through this-cant believe death threats on social media?? wtf? Still, its good in that its proof of cyber bullying and the police can confiscate phones and get videos to use in prosecution.
for your poor DD
for the Sun journo, thats a Daily Fail trick

to the person from The Sun who tracked me down on Facebook

JESUS WEPT! Is nothing sacred?

OP - your daughter has shown remarkable courage in speaking to the police. Knowing that there are threats against her life, and that she is an object of scorn and amusement to a vile group of people is hideous for her.

But please reassure her that not everyone will find what happened to her funny. Most people, adults and children alike will be shocked and disgusted by the behaviour of the bullies, and the whole nasty group of them will have committed social suicide.

She has been very brave, and you are giving her the support she needs, even though she doesn't want a lot of it - we rarely know what is good for us in situations like this.

Now that it is in the open she will, paradoxically, find it easier to cope with. She won't be looking at everyone and wondering how much they have seen. She can assume that all is seen and that 99.95 of people are horrified by what has happened and are glad the bullies are going to get their comeuppance.

Bullying thrives in secrecy - it is like a vile maggot eating away at the vulnerable, but once exposed to the light it shrivels and dies.

You are doing the right thing to take your daughter from the school. This may be temporary, or permanent. I would be guided by her wishes in this.

I hope that you and your daughter will be able to put this horrible incident behind you, and that she will soon realise what an empowering thing she has done in standing up for herself.

SHe's amazing!

Yes I would be meeting with the HT as soon as they were back and in meantime complaining to head of governors, ofsted and Lea safeguarding officer. I would want the kids who did this permanently excluded.

What pp said about informing the LEA of the schools (non) response. They had heard a rumour your dd had killed herself, and why, and she was off yesterday-and they didn't even call you??
They should be taking immediate action on this-you have enough evidence for them to be sure who the perpetrators are and if they are still sending snapchats to your dd its ongoing and still they are doing nothing.
Im livid on your behalf op.
I sincerely hope the Police take this seriously and that something meaningful is done.

Sending lots of love to your dd and to you.

I also think you'd have a more pressing case for the other school if you were registered at the school but can't attend, than if you have deregistered, because they could say she is safe at home, so no need.

WTAF? I read the first couple pages of this thread and thought it couldnt get any worse, but your update is heartbreaking and terrifying, OP.
I'm fuming for you and your DD, both at the attackers and at the Sun (who are just as bad IMO for trying to make an easy buck out of this. Some people have no fucking shame.)
Agree that the school's response is totally inadequate. Why does the (solitary) action they're planning only affect your DD? Keeping her in a "safe space" (whatever that means ) is all well and good but what are they doing to find and punish the perpetrators? I think your intention to deregister her is entirely appropriate - they obviously can't control their students and she's no longer safe there.
Did your DD manage to save the snapchat video before it disappeared? I know I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to think of that if I'd just seen something so horrifying, but if she did, that needs to go to the police too.
FWIW, I had a couple friends growing up who were home educated. It was hard work for their parents but they ended up very bright and socially well-adjusted. It can work really well in my (limited) experience.

Disgusting reaction from your DDs school! I can't believe they didn't even contact you if this is going around the whole school. I wouldn't want to send my child back to that school on that basis alone!

Your poor DD. It must be so awful for her

Every single arse hole who was involved in attacking your daughter should be excluded and made to find another school. Not your poor daughter.
Not that easy though I understand, it feels much better to keep her safe with you.

she had been sent a video on Snapchat in which at least 10 kids are standing in a circle in the playground describing how they plan to kill her!

Send a copy of this video to the police. What these children are doing is a criminal offence and it should be fairly easy for the police to identify them from the video and press charges.

the head of student care knew of the situation (to the point that your DD could have taken her life) and didn't get in touch with you to let you know? I find that unacceptable on every level

THIS ^

OP you might need to name the school, either here or elsewhere, (but not in The Sun, please!) because the having the school's safeguarding failures shown up in public is the largest lever you have with them. I'm not saying you will, but it's worth thinking about and preparing for now.

For others - it might/should be that the Head and dep-Head's meeting was about this incident.

Also I'd report to social services as a safeguarding issue for your daughter and tell them how let down you have been by the school.

This is utterly heart-breaking. I was bullied at school but nothing to this extent. I would also refuse to send her to school at this point. Maybe say to the school you are happy for them to send work home for her to do but you will not send her in under any circumstances. Personally I think all 30 of the fuckers need excluding and prosecuting by the police.

What is wrong with people?

I fear for the future when teenagers can behave like this.

And the school sound worse than useless.

Hugs to you and your DD.

I'm truly disgusted after reading your update User. Absolutely agree in the short-term that taking her well away from the school environment is your best option.

to you and your daughter. What an awful situation.

I wouldn't deregister her. The school can brush it under the carpet and let the police do it. I would either get her signed off by the GP or tell school they can send round the WOW to have a chat about unauthorised absence with pleasure.
Ffs they knew there's a photoshopped picture of your dd's 'suicide' doing the rounds and still they hadn't contacted you?

the kids can be prosecuted for malicious communications as well as assault. OP, well done!! I'm sure this is the best course of action.

Whilst you're at home you can also call the LEA and /or academy group and Ofsted. Tell them how the school has handled this.

To be cynical the police have easy prosecutions, don't listen to the poor bullies being criminalised by the sound of it some are probably squeaky clean but this will send a clear message.

there are some great anti bullying charities you can call too.

@LateDad it's bad advice to name the school here. 🙄
The op hasn't even spoken to the HT yet.
But I would be telling the HT that the sun have the story and use that as leverage.

for you and dd. The schools lack of response/action is awful. I would also be moving my dc in this situation. I hope that the police are able to do something about this.