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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Reasons for not breastfeeding in public

324 replies

DitaVonCheese · 12/04/2009 14:10

A discussion on another forum I frequent has got me thinking and I'd love to hear some other people's views. If you didn't/don't breastfeed in public (or if you do but are nervous), is it because you're worried about showing too much, or anxious about being told off by a security guard/interfering old bat/unenlightened male, or for some other reason I've missed?

When I first started I was worried about getting told off but now would probably quite happily cause a scene if necessary I think now I'd be more annoyed if someone just kept tutting but didn't actually say anything, so I'd end up being annoyed all day rather than letting rip!

OP posts:
Caz10 · 12/04/2009 14:18

I never ever worried about getting told off, embarrassingly/pathetically my biggest worry was people seeing my flabby tum! Also dd was a very screamy, flaily feeder when she was younger, and I (paranoidly) thought that people were looking at me and tutting and saying just give that poor baby a bloody bottle

LadyOfScoffleTheEasterEggs · 12/04/2009 14:23

Only thing that bother me is flabby tummy , though wearing loose tunics and/or a jacket helps

nappyaddict · 12/04/2009 14:25

If you don't want people to see your tummy either do the 2 top thing where you pull the top tshirt up and the bottom one down iyswim, wear a cardigan or use a blanket/muslin to cover you up.

Mama2nenes · 12/04/2009 14:26

I breastfed DS1 anywhere and everywhere til 2 years and same with DS2 so far (only 2 months).

However with DS1 a horrible old man came up to me and started asking if he could change places with DS1 and other more disgusting comments. He then asked if I wanted to go and have a drink with him. Instead of getting out the mobile and telling him I was ringing the police or soemthing like that I just sat there and felt scared and then, when he'd gone, rang DP and cried. DP was furious and wanted to leave work and pick me up from the park (and look for the bloke I suppose)

The weird thing is I had forgotten about it completely until the other day when I saw a bloke watching me with too much interest as I breastfed DS2.

chandellina · 12/04/2009 18:36

i have done plenty of BFing in public, but I'm sure lots of women share my feeling of not really wanting to flash their boobs for all and sundry when baby is not latching on easily, or feeling just a bit immodest if baby is flailing/screaming/attracting attention.

I do sometimes worry a bit about offending someone (not saying they should be offended), and prefer a cafe or informal setting to a restaurant. but that said, i totally believe in women's right to BF pretty much anywhere, and I'd also make a fuss if someone actually said something.

StercusAccidit · 12/04/2009 19:56

I think there is a distinct lack of places to do it, especially after going to birmingham shopping for the day and feeling like i had to sit in a stinky changing room... nowhere else really to sit unless you want to also pay for a way overpriced coffee/meal

Bit wanky really

feralgirl · 12/04/2009 20:04

I thought I'd feel much more self-conscious than I do but I actually don't give a crap! I would now totally refuse to stop BFing in public if I was asked to.

The only time anyone's said anything to me about it was yesterday when a man came to repair our washing machine and DS had just finished his feed. Man said "great, my go now!" Fortunately my best mate was there and leapt in to defuse the situation by telling him to wait his turn and that she was next!

fledtoscotland · 12/04/2009 20:11

In scotland, i never feel self conscious about feeding DS2. No one has approached me or said anything and DS2 has been fed in cafes, sitting on park benches, in the car in carparks, basically whenever he's hungry

however, on a recent visit to the south of england to see family, i had to feed DS2 when we were out at a very large and family orientated public place. Even though i found a discreet corner i was very aware of being watched and i felt quite uneasy. not sure if it was just cos i wasnt on "home turf" but it was uncomfortable. was very glad to get home

mppaw · 12/04/2009 20:14

I feel the same as CAZ10.
DS (DC2) can get himself into a right pickle when feeding, esp if tired, and so many family members and friends have commented about "giving him a bottle", would go to pieces if a stranger said this. So do get nervous when I feed in public.

NBM · 12/04/2009 20:29

My DD3 is nearly 4 weeks and I have not fed much in public as I am worried about people's stupid comments especially as she is sometimes hard to latch on.

However, I want to go out and about and fed her yesterday in a restaurant (was empty), today on a bench and walking down a country lane!

I can't believe some of the yukky comments some of you have had - ewwww.

acebaby · 12/04/2009 20:36

In almost 4 years of breastfeeding, often in public because DS1 was one of those 'CAN'T WAIT!!!!' babies, I have only been made to feel awkward once. A doctor's surgery receptionist asked me to move because there were men there. I was too tired and low to say anything but one of the men in the waiting room complained on my behalf because he felt her comment cast aspersions on him.

I have fed on the floor at a boat show, during a wedding, during a work meeting (one of those catch up days), in a solicitors office while exchanging on our house...

Before I had DS1, I was really squeamish about feeding in public, and assumed I would always dash back to the car. I quickly realised that because of his personality, if I didn't feed in public, I would end up a recluse.

kazbeth · 12/04/2009 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

acebaby · 12/04/2009 20:42

sorry - in response to the OP, my main worry about feeding in public before I had DS1 was making other people embarrassed and baring my horrid norks and nipples. In fact, most people don't even notice and by feeding under a t-shirt, I don't feel particularly exposed. I am more self-consious (sp!) about having a screaming, obviously hungry baby.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 12/04/2009 20:46

I have only felt slightly nervous about feeding in public when my babies were newborn and we were both learning - squirting milk and babies bobbing on and off(have a fast letdown). I fed DS for nearly 2 yrs and it has definitely helped me feel more confident this time round, DD is nearly 4 months. Never had a nasty comment either.

DontlookatmeImshy · 12/04/2009 20:49

With ds1 initially the main reason was being shy and paranoid that everyone would be gawping/tutting etc etc, but i managed to overcome that and did feed him even when he was over 12 months.

With ds2 i have a 'sod em' attitude and feed almost anywhere/anytime he needs it, and thanks to MN have a store or good retorts for anyone who objects for any reason. (although i am very discreet anyway so someone would have to be perving looking pretty hard to notice)

KingRolo · 12/04/2009 20:53

I don't like bfing in public, or even in front of some family and friends, because dd has a habit of pulling off when the let down is too quick and milk squirts out everywhere. It's very messy. If she just latched on and fed quietly I'd do it in public.

franke · 12/04/2009 20:55

Like many here, it's the fear of attracting negative comments from strangers that has made me nervous about feeding in public. Sadly the truth of the matter is that in all the months of feeding my 3 kids in public and private, the only negativity I've ever encountered was from a member of my own extended family

Academicmum · 12/04/2009 22:24

When ds2 was younger, I fed him in public pretty much anywhere (on the beach, in the park, country lanes, out for a meal etc etc). I never fed him in front of my colleagues at work but then I have my own office so when I did need to go into work I just retreated to a bit of privacy there. Now he is a bit older (11 months) I find it hard to feed him in public because he is so distractable and won't feed well so I find it preferable to take a cup with me if I'm out. Must say though, I do get annoyed at the lack of comfortable feeding places though - are IKEA really the only ones enlightened enough to make a nice comfy, quiet area in their cafe for use? (and I've even had staff coming and refilling my drrinks for me whilst feeding there!). I really wish there were more places like that, it would make BF so much easier and more sustainable.

lockets · 12/04/2009 22:35

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SuziSeis · 12/04/2009 22:37

nasty comment ? what did she say

lockets · 12/04/2009 22:40

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SuziSeis · 12/04/2009 22:43

I cannot believe people think that let alone say it

(old bag!!!!!)

Probably jealous of DS1 !!!!

If it was my empty boobs it would be disgusting!

lockets · 12/04/2009 22:45

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Message withdrawn

Plonker · 12/04/2009 22:46

My only reason is that I was v clumsy at latching dd on. I was mortified at the thought of showing too much breast ...and even worse, too much flabby belly

What others thought didn't bother me.

Original poster
DitaVonCheese · 12/04/2009 23:21

Thanks for the replies. Apologies for the drip-feed, but the discussion we were having was about the petition to have English and Welsh law brought in line with Scottish law re protection for babies feeding in public. Someone seemed to suggest that, because she had never felt uncomfortable feeding in public, it was unnecessary. She also said that because this would only remove the possibility of some of the nasty comments (the ones from security guards/similar rather than old biddies) then it wouldn't help people feel better about bfing in public, whereas I felt that protecting it in law would encourage people to feed in public, thus helping to normalise bfing, hence making nasty comments from passersby less likely. Hence being interested in reasons for not bfing in public - but it seems that flabby bellies is the main one, which sadly ain't something the law can help with

OP posts:
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