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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

834 replies

lilysma · 01/02/2009 11:14

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

OP posts:
mrsjammi · 01/02/2009 11:31

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StealthPo09IsHere · 01/02/2009 14:42

yeah - i'm bf DS at 22 months and he doesn't look as though he'll be stopping any time soon!

showmeyourpuku · 01/02/2009 15:12

Hi, I'm feeding my 19mo and my 4.5mo boys - but I have a friend who fed one of her children well past 3, and a colleague who fed to 5!

StealthPo09IsHere · 01/02/2009 15:38

wow, where do you work? la leche league?

showmeyourpuku · 01/02/2009 15:47

Close! My friends do - caught out swinging off their kudos!

MamaHobgoblin · 01/02/2009 17:36

(hijack) MrsJammi - what sort of problems are you having? My DS is 11 months and while he rarely bites, his top teeth are grazing and denting my nipples a lot, and most feeds are pretty sore these days. Kellymom website thinks this tends to stop as the teeth grow longer (wear down??) but it's been weeks now.

I don't think our 11 months is particularly 'extended' but I'd like to watch this thread, as I'd like to continue feeding DS for a lot longer.

mrsjammi · 01/02/2009 17:57

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ShowOfHands · 01/02/2009 18:01

can i just mark my place?

back later, bfing 20 month old as i type. one handed!

MamacitaGordita · 01/02/2009 18:16

mrsjammi this isn't the first I've heard of people being asked to leave a bf group at a certain age- it seems so bizarre- bf support might be even more needed as time goes on and people begin to potentially encounter prejudices etc. Are your groups so packed with people they need the space or something? I live in an area with low bf rates and have several times been the only attendee at my bf group!!

catweazle · 01/02/2009 18:17

DD is 22 mo and still BF like a newborn

mmelody · 01/02/2009 18:22

My Ds is 18 months old and is a complete boobie addict. I don't know anyone else in rl who is BF a similar aged child.

policywonk · 01/02/2009 18:25

at MrsJammi's BF group - did you complain? Who funds it?

Re. the biting - sorry if this is completely bloody obvious but do you take him off the breast instantly when he bites and stop the feed?

MamaHobgoblin · 01/02/2009 18:48

MrsJammi - ow! CAn't really advise,although Kellymom has a lot of suggestions about how to stop. My DS is biting everything else at the moment - our hands, toes and chins mostly - and we put 'stern' faces on and tell him no. Not working as yet... I've shrieked like you're not meant to when DS has biten me, but you can't help it. I'd agree that the best thing is to stop feeding and put him down at once, so he makes the connection.

Shocked at being asked to leave a BF group at a certain age... Are they worried that extended feeding will scare off the tender newbies or something? That Channel 4 doc had a lot to answer for, if you ask me....

helips · 01/02/2009 18:49

still feeding ds 17 months, although down to 1 feed before bed. Not sure when I'll stop, it will be a very sad time...

mrsjammi · 01/02/2009 19:05

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mrsjammi · 01/02/2009 19:07

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mawbroon · 01/02/2009 19:12

Oh I think I qualify for this thread.

Every post about breastfeeding that I put on here says that I don't think ds will EVER stop He is 3.2yo

RoRoMommy · 01/02/2009 19:13

I am totally in. DS is 23 months. Total boogie monster. Had problems with biting too, had to do with teething try giving him something to teeth on. Be back soon!

RoRoMommy · 01/02/2009 19:28

Sorry, I meant boobie monster. I've got support from family for the most part, but this won't last for as long as I want to continue (which is as long as he wants to continue, iyswim). Would love to offer an get support.

glitterkitty · 01/02/2009 19:30

Me too!

DS is 21 months and LOVES 'nana'. He particulary loves having his special cloth to rub at the same time if possible (v. hideous old pair of my pyjamas)

To be honest I'd like to stop... its quite restrictive sometimes. But he is so keen , and says stuff like 'lovely nana' and pats my breast so appreciatively that I cant!

I was thinking I would give it a try when he has finished teething- 2.5?

I dont know anyone else still bf and sometimes things that people (my mum in particular) say do make me feel like I have gone wrong somewhere.

I am trying to convince myself that its NOT unnatural and I havent made a rod for my own back or am hopelessly indulging him or something.

Are you all confident about still doing it?

HaventSleptForAYear · 01/02/2009 19:32

hello - i'm here too.

BF DS2 (2 last week).

Back to work full-time since he was 3 mths so can't see when he'll ever stop, despite dummy, separation during day, have been away for a week etc.

Tis a lovely way to reconnect when I get home though and he is my last baby (I think) and so it doesn't feel intrusive.

policywonk · 01/02/2009 19:35

kitty - DS2 calls it 'nana' as well.

I used to question whether I'd done the right thing or not. These days (DS2 is 4 next week) it's become such a mundane thing that I don't really think about it unless I come up against some unpleasant comment (usually on t'interweb - never in RL, thankfully).

mawbroon · 01/02/2009 19:36

My ds went through a short lived biting phase. He would bite if he was done, or if I was trying to persuade him to stay on a bit longer while I was on MN .

To start with, he got taken off (by pulling his face into my boob to make him let go) and then putting him on the floor.

Later, when he was a bit older, I would talk to him before I let him latch on, and would ask him if he was going to "bite, or not bite". He would usually choose "not bite" and I think something about saying it himself reminded him not to. We also used this approach for other stuff like making a fuss when it was time to leave etc. If he chose "bite/fuss" then I would say "fine, but if you bite/make a fuss then x,y,z will happen"

Now, if he nips me by mistake, he says sorry. What a nice boy.

Re the BF groups, our LLL group alternates time about between the baby group and the older babies and toddlers group. Anyone is welcome to attend either group, but it makes sense to have it seperate because the issues are different. I believe that not all LLL groups do this though.

mawbroon · 01/02/2009 19:40

Yes, I am confident about still doing it.

A while back I tried stopping day feeds. Three weeks later his behaviour took a nose dive, which stopped as soon as we went back to feeding in the day.

Also, a different while back, I tried stopping night feeds, and exactly the same thing happened with his behaviour.

I concluded that he still needs it, despite those who insist that a 3yo doesn't need to breastfeed. (These are the people who think it's just about food...)

BouncingTurtle · 01/02/2009 19:43

Me in too!! Ds is just over 13mo.

MrsJammi - the bfing group that I go to is a Surestart one, and they definitely don't have an age limit. They have toys and activities for a wide age range. Bfing rates where I live are very, very low, so they want to encourage as many new mums to come as possible, so they cater for mums who have older siblings to their nurslings but don't have anyone to leave them with.

I have to admit I'm having a few issues with regards to teeth, particularly with feeding from my right breast, I can feel ds's teeth resting hard on my nipple and it is quite sore at times. It's not something he is doing deliberately, he has bitten me once in a playful way, but never again. But it is hard to find anyone to advise me, I know very few women who are feeding past a year (apart from 3 I met through MN!).

Out of my NCT AN group of 6 mums there is only me and one other still feeding, her baby is about 6 weeks younger than mine, but haven't seen her for a few weeks so not sure whether she is thinking about stopping or not. Overall I think the group has done brilliantly - everyone started out bfing, only 1 stopped after a few days (lots of issues), 1 mixed fed (again lots of issues and problems) and switched to ff at around 6mo, 1 stopped after about 4.5mo the other at around 6mo.
I have had a few comments about whether I'm stopping from this group which have made me a little sad only because I don't think it occurred to them that they could carry on - I think all of them apart from the one who is still feeding had 6mo in their heads - I did as well until MN put me straight!