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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

834 replies

lilysma · 01/02/2009 11:14

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

OP posts:
bubbleymummy · 02/02/2009 00:07

It's so lovely to see so many of us in one place! Nice to meet you all!

I am still feeding DS who is nearly 2y11m but only when going to bed/ occasional naptime (and more if he is sick.) I am pregnant with baby no.2 due in early March and DS weaned himself down to the one bedtime feed during my pregnancy. He will go to sleep for DH or my mum without it but a quick milk fix is always the fastest way I know ALL about the twiddling - drives me mad - esp at the minute! Thankfully he seems to be stopping but sometimes he just has to have his hand there while he falls asleep!

I found LLL to be fantastic. I started going when DS was 9m because I was starting to get funny looks in my local mother and baby group. It was just so great to meet other mummies who were happy to just keep feeding as long as their babies wanted it. I'm also v lucky in that I have a v supportive husband who was bf (MIL fed all her 5 boys well over 12m)and my mum and dad have always been great about it. I don;t publicise the fact that I still feed DS (except at LLL) but I wouldn't hide it either - I just worry sometimes when you're speaking to new mums that they might be a bit intimidated/freaked out by the thought of feeding for that long - but I don't think you really plan it - it just happens!

mybabywakesupsinging · 02/02/2009 00:28

hello all.
ds2 is 21 months now and has a morning and evening feed.
He still seems to think it is nice.
It is sometimes an issue - for example I ought to go away for work reasons for a few days but haven't so far. I am hopeless at expressing...

solo · 02/02/2009 00:33

I'll join in too

foxytocin · 02/02/2009 04:08

mrsjammi just before your baby bites you should be able to see a tiny muscle movement at the corner of his mouth. Watch him like a hawk with finger near his mouth. As soon as you see the movement. Unlatch him. The movement is caused by them moving their tongue from over the bottom teeth where it lies when they are feeding.

I am tandem feeding a 3.9yo and a 4 mo old.

will be back in the second half of March.

lulururu · 02/02/2009 05:22

count me in! i'm still feeding DTS (14mths) about 5 times a day which doesn't seem like too old to me but i'm starting to get the "well long ARE you going to feed them for?" comments. i'm not sure if i'm feeding them too often though. would be interested to know how often people here feed their babies each day.

foxytocin · 02/02/2009 05:29

Question: "well long ARE you going to feed them for?":

Answer: Ohhh, about another 3 minutes.... and smile beatifically as you stroke toddler's head.

kittywise · 02/02/2009 06:49

lulururu I find that ds3 will try and get some everytime I sit down. Some days he's fed 4 times before 11 am and others days less frequently. I find he feeds whenever he feels a bit: Cross, scared, anxious, tire, oh yes and thirsty!

whomovedmychocolate · 02/02/2009 07:13

Stealth - fire away - happy to answer any questions on tandemming if I can. It's not an easy choice and I would be AMAZED if you managed to cut down to two a day during pregnancy - dd decided my milk was much nicer when I was pregnant and wanted to nurse constantly and frankly at least it got me a sit down .

llareggub · 02/02/2009 07:14

Count me in too! DS is 2.3 years and is probably feeding more than ever after what seemed like a ready to give up stage. I am 26 weeks pregnant so it looks like I'll be tandem feeding soon.

DS went through a biting phase when he was about 9 months or so, although this soon passed.

BabiesEverywhere · 02/02/2009 08:59

Another tandem nurser here...DD 2.5 years and DS 5 months.

DD signs to request milk and at night she signs milk directly on my face as I can't 'hear' a sign in the dark, she also asks verbally for 'other side' even when her baby brother is on it !!!

Now DS is older he tries to stroke/grab DD on the other side and DD breaks off nursing anto tell me '[stop] baby scratching me' Next minute they are mutually giggling at my breasts

As to normal number of feeds. In order to cover tired, hurt, comfort and nutrient needs...a lot...times two. In fact I wouldn't be able to be on Mumsnet if not for the children nursing so much. I nurse at keyboard (NAK) a lot.

Bucharest · 02/02/2009 09:05

I shall lurk as I do feel I am probably coming to end of bf journey. Dd is 5yrs and 4mths today and is still a mummymilkholic.

BouncingTurtle · 02/02/2009 10:28

BE - DS doesn't let me NAK these days, if I try he just pulls off and flails around or attempts to grab the laptop! I can't even read a book or a magazine because he tries to grab them too!

BabiesEverywhere · 02/02/2009 11:21

BouncingTurtle, I find it helps to keep their hands occupied. I give toddler DD one or two 'desirable' objects whilst nursing her i.e. hair band, bracelet, coin. Whatever is close to hand and not too heavy in case it lands on baby DS in error. If all else fails I hold her hands and play 'teddy bear' to distract her.

HTH

mawbroon · 02/02/2009 12:05

My ds got over the really annoying stage of fiddling and scratching and all that, but he is still a terrible twiddler. He says that he gets more milk out that way.

Sometimes if he stirs in the night, he will rummage in my pj top to twiddle and sometimes, it's enough to send him back to sleep without actually having to feed him.

He gets very very agitated if I try to stop him, and tbh it's been going on so long now that I hardly notice.

CantSleepWontSleep · 02/02/2009 12:46

Just a quick post from me for now to remind me to look at this thread later.

Am feeding dd, who will be 3 on Sunday, and ds, who is 3.5 months.

Recommend a breastfeeding necklace to distract them with - will find a link to mine later.

BouncingTurtle · 02/02/2009 12:52

Ds doesn't twiddle, thank God! mIght try the toy thing... I did try a breastfeeding necklace a few months ago, but he kept trying to jam it into his mouth mid feed

Bettymum · 02/02/2009 17:15

Hello,
Can I join too? DD just over one and still going strong. She now has to feed with a toy in each hand at all times so I am getting ducklings, zebras and small cows waved in my face morning and night
We are going through a bit of a bity stage, strangely only on one side, from other posts here am hoping it will pass...

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/02/2009 19:01

Hi everyone, CSWS and Be forgot their were other tandem feeders around - pregnancy brain!
Hi Bettymum I now regularly feed DS's toys - giraffe, iggle piggle and gorilla Now I'm all for bfip but I do find that embarrassing, especially as he's not fobbed off by the 'over the clothes' thing - oh no he's making sure I unhook my bra!

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/02/2009 19:02

"their" = "there"
Thank you pregnancy brain otherwise I'd have nothing to blame this on.

biskybat · 02/02/2009 21:14

Hello everyone, is there room for another? Would be nice to have somewhere warm and inviting to feed

DD is 16 months old and still going strong

I am surrounded by friends who all weaned at 6 months/a year who smugly tell me their methods - mainly involving lots of tears/screaming/sleepless nights etc. I am far too lazy and have very delicate eardrums to go through all that so am letting DD decide when she has had enough.

DD will also sign for milk and if I am not paying attention to her, she will run up to me and put a palm on each of my cheeks and pull my head down to look at her and then vigorously pump her hand with the milk sign

Rascal1979 · 02/02/2009 21:39

Ohhhh just realised that I am an extended feeder DD is coming up to 14mths old. Down to just 2/3 feeds a day. - although more if poorly/teething/mummy needs a lie in

Not had many comments as such yet about me still feeding although if I mention BFing the convo goes dead a lot of the time

I have never really thought about how long I would BF for but the longer we do the more I think we will self wean.

One question I have atm is DD is fed at 6pm before going to bed and then usually sleeps through til her 3am feed then sleeps til she has her breakfast (solids) at 7/8am. She often goes down awake and I am wondering if on the odd occassion I could get her to go down with a cup of milk (given by someone else) so I could be out if I want to.

Not really a big issue but just curious as I wouldn't want to stop BFing yet and worry that this could 'make' her drop the night feed. Is it possible at this stage to miss this feed once in a while?

glitterkitty · 02/02/2009 21:47

Oh this is nice- loads of people's issues here are familiar to me- its lovely to be able to discuss them rather than just talking at my mum/dp (who are ok but dont really underestand why I'm still bf)

I have always bf to sleep- feels so goood to admit it! However I know its probably not a good thing -and I also sometimes wish my dp could do bedtimes- especially the LOOOONG teething sessions where I sit in his room for over an hour trying to get him off...

Totally relate to feeling 'touched out' at times- although mostly I really enjoy bf.

LOL at milk sign- biskybat what is it?? DS will just start rifling my top and saying 'NA NA' very loudly when he wants to feed- if I try and fob him off (say we are sat in library/on bus) he starts to say 'sssuck, MILK! ssssuck, NIPPLE!' very loudly!

He also loves to fiddle with my other nipple- but will only feed from the right one now- the 'green' one. . The 'blue' na na is 'not like'.

Hello SPD! and congrats!

luvaduck · 02/02/2009 22:07

bucharest thats amazing - well done!
Please do lurk, as I'm sure you've lots of tips to hand on

CharCharGabor · 02/02/2009 22:17

I bf to sleep too, for naps (which are rare now) at bedtime and through the night when needs. Although last night she slept 10 hours before waking up, then had a quick feed and went down again for 2 hours. It was lovely not to share the bed with her for a whole night. It won't last like, never does but it was nice to have a rest.

maygirl · 02/02/2009 22:48

Me too, don't know anyone BF a toddler in rl, nice to know are others out there

Right now I'm feeling confident to carry on. DS is 2.5, sings out 'other side', or when sleepy/confused has been known to mutter 'page'!?

My first night away was 2 months ago, had to be with my mum for serious op, was gone 2 nights. He was fine, DH has been doing some bedtimes from 1st year onwards, (only if I'm not in the house though) but had always been me and a bf if he woke overnight so I was worried. Was ok though, he accepted I wasn't in the house and went back to sleep.

Went away for one night last week for a hen weekend, also completely fine. Flung himself on me for a bf as soon as through the door though, much to my relief

My DS only really interested in the right side too, so left side supply really dwindling. Pumped both times we were apart overnight as right side filled up v obviously, while no change in left. Pumped few mls on left, and a good bottle on the right! So he won't be saying 'page' for much longer