Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

How do you lot deal with disapproval from others? I was really shocked the other day to find that dp thought that ds3 was too old to be feeding. he's nearly 22 months.

He said he could come up with a big list of reason as to why it is detrimental to ds that I keep feeding, although of course the list hasn't materialised!

Kittywise - you can come up with a real list before his one ever materialised! Let's see what we can come up with.

1. Children's immune systems don't fully mature until around 6 years, so we are continuing to support our children's immune systems via the antibodies in breast milk.

Who's next?

-Fantastic for when they are ill.
-Comforts them when hurt/scared/stressed like nothing else can
-Continuing to reduce the risk for mother of breast cancer etc

Does it still help to protect the mother against osteoporosis?

Absolutely fantastic for when they are not eating (ill/teething) and you can relax in the knowledge that at least they've had something.

How come DS doesn't say anything remotely cute when he wants a feed? He points at my chest saying "Want, want" and if nothing materialises within 0.07 seconds he hurls himself at me and tries to remove my clothes

Yes I believe it does kittywise.

rascal - dd will take a cup at bedtime, but only if I am not in the house.

This is my bf necklace.

Rascal1979, We found that DD needs to nurse before bed whilst I am around but on the infrequent occassions she is not with me, no milk of any description is requested/needed.

kittywise, My DH told me it would be too weird for DD to be nursing at 2 years old (when she was 18 months old). Now we have a new baby nursing and when our 2.5 year old toddler demands to nurse as well...DH lifts DD over my shoulder into position so she can have milk straight away without waiting, so I guess he has changed his mind !!!

kittywise

Kellymom has some great links on advantages of nursing toddlers here

IF you want to meet other nursing toddlers try your local LLL group here

Though what is the real alternative, is your DH willing to settle your child without milk everytime he is sick, tired, ill !?! I doubt it, so why should he interfer with your settling routines.

Why give up an effective, free parenting tool which also acts as a drink, snack and sleep inducing comfort. !!!

Hi - could I joing please?! I"m feeding DS2 (14 months) and, until last week, didn't know anyone else who breastfeeds (hence the name). Met some lovely Mum's through my older childs nursery who breastfeed, so don't feel quite so much of a wierdo as I did. My friends think it's too much work for me (!) and apparently I'm a physical wreck...hmmnnn...beg to differ.

Things are slightly more complicated in that DS2 reacts through my milk to any dairy, wheat, eggs or soya, so I'm off all of that. Find it hard at times, but already feel good reading about others having issues with teeth etc. Great to hear all of your ideas! .

Thank god for this thread. DD (22m) is slowly weaning herself off her "booboo" before bed but I decided to let her do it rather than me. I'm under so much pressure to give up - from family and friends. So many people look at me in disgust when I say I'm still b/f - so I've given up telling anyone.
Lets keep this going!

To OP, snap, my daughter is 26 months old as well and shows no signs of wanting to stop! I must admit that on my side of things I would like too as I have not had my body for myself for nearly 9 yrs (4dcs).

The problem is she has a very small appetite for solids and blatantly refuses milk, whatever container it is presented to her in.

I decided to wait until she feel more ready to stop but am not absolutely convincedit is the right thing to do ( she is a very small 26 mth old and I feel I might be depriving her. Catch 22 really, when I bfeed her I am not sure she really gets enough anymore and if I don't feed her shell get nothing at all!

theLoneFeeder - what a pain for you to have to avoid all of those foods. Soya is a nightmare to avoid IME. I have to avoid dairy, and that is quite enough!

Gorionine, thats one of the reasons I haven't stopped with DD. She's not a brilliant eater and on the days she really doesn't eat at least I know she's had a bedtime snack.
I wouldn't worry about the milk thing, plenty of toddlers refuse dairy. Apparently my sister wouldn't touch the stuff till she was 21! She's a strapping lass now - but was quite a small toddler.

I personally can't imagine facing the toddler years without breastfeeding. Nature wouldn't have provided us with these uncontrollable horrors highly strung little people without a secret weapon to help out

I am lucky DH doesn't care how long I nurse for as long both I and DD are both happy. However if I'd asked him before she came along if he'd be comfortable with me breastfeeding a toddler he probably would have said No. He comes from a long line of women who have elective casearians and FF. I had a homebirth which horrified his mother who thought I was going to die in childbirth doing it like the victorians ...am sure they didn't have waterpools in those days though

My mum is very supportive as she fed her last baby for 2 years which in the late 70s/80s was not that usual. However I don't really advertise to outsiders that we still breastfeed as I don't feed in public anymore.

Glitterkitty the milk sign is squeezing your fist open and shut....as if you were milking a cow It's so funny when they become verbal and start insulting your breasts, I have all this to come - now I am starting to get nervous.

rascal and glitterkitty I have only gone out at bedtime about 7/8 times. It is just as others have said, they don't need milk to sleep if you aren't around - and I say this as a feed to sleep/nap mother myself. My DH sometimes gives a cup of milk or pot of yoghurt, or once he gave her some cereal with milk. He then reads her a story and tells her its time for bed. She usually cries and he will go straight back in and resettle - he doesn't leave her to cry. She normally goes to sleep within about 5/10 mins. This would never work if I was in the house.

With regards to the fiddling with the other nipple thing. DD only does this if the other is unfettered. Can a breastpad block the nipple twiddling?

I am not sure I am ready to Bf her until she's 21

Thanks for encouragement brightongildowunder! do you mind if I ask you your DD's weight?

so many typos

thelonefeeder, if she reacts to these things in your milk she is probably allergic to alot of foods, so you are helping her so much by carrying on. You should be really proud. Must be hard though, I hate being told not to eat something...one reason why I never go on diets, they make me put on weight

Gorionine, My DD is a small one, she has always eaten a wide variety of food but eats very very small amounts. It is only in the last few days that she seems to have increased her appetite. I have not dropped any feeds, I just think this is a natural progression. I don't understand why all my friends keep telling me gleefully how they managed to drop this feed and look sympathetically at me when I say that DD will feed whenever she likes, within reason.

Before I had children I thought I would be the type of mother who had strict routines for her baby. I read all the books - then DD came along and refused to be put into one. I decided to go with flow as it made us much happier. I have turned into a complete hippy of a mother, and I am someone who normally lives by the clock. All these books seem to overcomplicate the process of raising children. Sorry, I seem to have gone off on a tangent

xx

Thanks for the encouragement biskybat & Cantsleepwontsleep! Yes, he's anaphylactic to milk and wheat...hoping to see some improvement as he gets older tho.

My friends think he should go on Neocate, but I think he's better on bm. I was the same - thought i'd be all routines etc, but it's just toooo lovely bf'ing. Especially when he has one, sits back, has a look (as though deciding which is best) and then points to the one he wants with a big smile!

He does do the fiddling thing tho - I wondered if it kind of 'gets it ready' iyswim...

biskybat, my preparation for motherhood was easier than yours as I refused to read any book on education because I knew full well I would be a hippy of a mother!

Dd is also eating a variety of food in very very small quantities, she likes fruit best and at time I really wish she would set her eyes on a buttered slice of toast to get a bit of fat in her! I makes my day when she eats more than three dry cherioose for breakfast!

I am not worried about her developpement, she is bright and active but her weight concernes me enough to not dare going and have her weighed at the clinic for fear they will tell me I am MAD to fcarry on BF and not force feed her!

Carry, not fcarry, I was NOT being rude!Promise!

Fingers crossed lonefeeder. Dd outgrew her milk intolerance (so not as severe as yours) around 20 months, so I did get to have milk for a while again before ds arrived and turned out to have the same problem.

I used to hate snack time at toddler groups, as I ran round looking like a neurotic mother trying to stop dd from having milky biscuits. Am sure that people thought I was just being precious.

I don't get her weighed any more Gorionine. At one stage she slipped from 75th percentile to under 25th and then I just gave up as it was turning me into a nervous wreck.
Have to say DD is enjoying cows milk at the moment and has put on weight. I've always used a straw in a cup, which she likes, also make milkshakes from liquidised fruit.
I know what you mean about devouring a buttery piece of toast though - she looks at it every morning as if its there to torture her.
However she loves fruit and veg (apart from potatoes) anything extremely garlicky and meat and fish so am hoping she'll take the plunge and eat for England soon.
Have to admit I still have to put food in her mouth in order for it to be eaten which is a PITA.
I wouldn't worry if she's bright and active though, one day she'll shock you by gorging out!!

Oh I know the feeling like neurotic mother at toddlers feeling! My ds is allergic to egg and then developed a dairy intolerence after a tummy bug around 1.5yrs ago. I used to bring oatcakes or rich teas to toddlers and it must have looked to folk like I was being precious about it all. But I don't really care.

My MIL has been raising her eyebrows about me still feeding ds and up to now I have swiftly changed the subject or whatever. Today, DS asked for milk and he's not 100% so I let him cuddle in and feed. Cue the raised eyebrows and some comment about "are you still giving him a lot of milk?". So I asked her if it was a problem. Her answer? Well, he's 3 now. And other such nonsense such as isn't it going to put my (pregnant) sister off breastfeeding because she will think she has to do it for years and years. Or it's just like a dummy and one day, enough is enough. FFS IT IS NOT JUST LIKE A DUMMY. She also said that she has never seen anyone else feed a three year old. But it is the physiological norm, says I. Yes, for a baby she says. Oh give me strength.

I am away to google some stuff to email her because I can't be arsed exlaining it all when she has an answer for everything.

I am still feeding DS who is fifteen months. No one from the mothers group is still feeding and I know they think I am a bit odd. One mother asks me if I am still feeding every time I see her. I know DS isn't ready to stop. His first word was boob and he loves feeding. I love the way if he is having a melt down it can just turn him into a new boy in the space of five minutes.

Still feeding in the night and feeding to sleep which I find hard. Also I am going back to work this week and although I know he will be ok without his feeds I don't like that he won't be able to have them.

sorry just a quick one, as have to go and do some snow shovelling to get out of the drive...where is the big brawny DH when you need some work done around here

mawbroon perhaps you should just tell her it is not a subject you wish to discuss. Make it off limits. You don't have to explain why you parent the way you do. I love a good fight debate but if it makes you uncomfortable then its not worth it. She doesn't have to approve your methods.

BTW my DD doesn't nippletwiddle - instead she plays with the fat in my armpit crease, tis very annoying, however if I don't let her then she like to stick one hand in my mouth play with my teeth I think they are just such active little things that they need to have one part of their body moving continuously as they feed.

Gorionine, I haven't got my DD weighed since she was about 4 months old and the HV kept telling me to top up when the paediatrician wasn't worried about DD's growth at all. I can tell she is healthy as she has a peachy bottom with lots of lovely dimples in it

Ok must be off to shovel some snow!

Thanks biskybat and britongirldowunder it is nice to not only have company bfeeding toddlers but also company not having them weighed, that actually really reassures me! (for some weird reason!)