Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

Breastfeeding Older Children. Tis very good, I am up to chapter 7 half way through roughly.

Interesting that your children lost their ability to latch so quickly.

Bouncingturtle- I have just sent an email asking for info on peer support training! What is it like? I don't know if I'd be any good at it or even if I'd have the time what with DD feeding every 20 seconds or so

It's so nice to 'meet' other people that are feeding older children, I don't know how long I'll feed DD for but I get the feeling it's going to be quite a while!

It's very good! 14 x 2 hour sessions. Last week we talked about what we will be doing, there is a lot of funding available, and they are looking for ideas from us as to what we can do, as this is a new initiative in the area.
We have looked at the biology of breastfeeding, how to tell when it is going well, problems with feeding (we spent one session looking at nipples with various ailments ), looking at social, physical, psychological and cultural impediments to breastfeeding, types of weaning and how to advise someone who wants to wean, or reduce.
Once we have completed the course and done our CRB checks, we will be working on a referral system,where new mums are referred to us. Plus will be going to give talks at AN clinics and Parentcraft classes, new mum groups as well as the bfing support groups. And we will be helping out at Breastfeeding week in May. It is all very exciting

That sounds brilliant, I hope I can get the training too. There's nothing about it on my local hospital website so I emailed a woman that works at the next closest NHS trust. How did you find out about it? My local NHS trust is a bit rubbish when it comes to breastfeeding support.

Hi girls
I haven't been on this thread for ages as babycarrot weaned during my pg at the age of 2 and a few months, so I'm technically not an 'extended breastfeeder' any more.

Unless she starts again when baby number 2 arrives (any time soon). But I don't think tandem nursing is on the cards for us anymore, really.

I found a fab silver pendant on ebay the other day when I was looking for something else; it's a mother nursing a child - but definitely an older child, not a teeny one. It made me think of this lovely gang of long-term breastfeeders. Not often that someone actually celebrates the feeding an older child with a piece of jewelry.

I'll post a link if I can find it again.

Hope everyone is well.

Hi everyone - I am needing some support because I'm not liking it very much at the moment.

I've been through phases like this before and it's been fine again, but last night I was in tears after a 2 1/2 hour nursing session which ended at 9.45 at night. The tears were mainly because I felt frustrated and tired.

I had been trying to get dd to sleep and she wouldn't go - it's a developmental thing I think. Over the last few weeks we've had periods of a couple of hours in the middle of the night when all she's wanted to do is feed. She also been generally more clingy to me.

My breasts are getting sore and I start to feel irritated after a while, which is horrible. She could be teething but I don't think so because she usually tells me about that.

She's 20 months - any words of wisdom/reassurance appreciated.

I was going to ask if it was her teeth. My DD is a lot like this at the moment and she's got some back teeth coming through. Are you taking any supplements? Someone on MN suggest Spa Tone to me and it's brilliant, I feel like I've got a lot more energy now.

Besom - we often need to work on DS's latch when he has new teeth coming through - its as if his mouth changes and he has to reset his default way of feeding.

Our game is to get him to have a big wide mouth, (big 'aaaaaaah' sounds and a bit of giggling normally) which he keeps open while I post my boob carefully into the middle - then he goes 'om' loudly and latches on. Seems to help get a good mouthful. Doesn't work when switching sides when he's tired, but helps at other times, and helps now due to pregnancy sensitivity.

Sweetnitanitro - I basically told the HV's running my bfing support group that I wanted to do peer supporter training. Apparently they did train some people several years ago but ran into a lot of red tape when trying to get them in to the local hospital to support new mums, so the programme was disbanded.
The local NHS trust has invested a lot in raising bfing rates and recently recruited a breastfeeding support co-ordinator, and she has been the one who organised, and is running the course. She was given my name (and the names of others on the course) by the people running our bfing groups. They are run in conjunction with Surestart, but it is the local NHS trust running things, and who we would report to.
So definitely talk to your HV, find out if you have a BFC. Alternatively, the ABM, LaLeche league and NCT do peer supporter courses,might be worth giving them a try?

sweetnianitro - I'm taking pregnacare supplements. Am ttc so not sure if I should take other things? I will look up Spa Tone (even if just for future reference).

ChaimumMiaow - i will try that, thanks. It has felt like she is chewing me recently. Funnily enough she was just now making me laugh by pretending to nurse and showing me what she does with her mouth and tongue when feeding. So your game may well work with her I think.

mawbroon Gosh that has gone fast! I was at toddler group the other day and a new mum was feeding her almost 4 year old there and it made me think of you. She said she was hoping he would stop at least in public by the time he went to school for his own sake but wouldn't force it. Does DS still like to feed in public?

Yes, nappyaddict, he occasionally does ask in public still. I usually tell him no, unless he has really hurt himself or just got himself into a tizzy over something. If he's just asking for something to do, or to get my attention then he is easily distracted
I do sometimes get a bit irritated with him nursing just now, presumably because of the pg hormones.

I also feel just now that because I am hugely pregnant with broken ankle, people are looking at me quite enough without throwing breastfeeding a 4yo in public into the mix!!

I'd just like to throw in some 'support' to all those on here.

I bf DS3.4 until his was 2.4 - I cried the night I explained this was his last feed.

Now I am bf DD 9wks - hope to feed her for as long as she wants, or to about the same age as DS.

I wish it was just seen for what it is, by all, what ever the age of the child.

Would anyone here want a web chat with Ann Sinnott? Author of Brestfeeding Older Children.

Breast obviously. Although I have eaten very well in Brest.

ladies, I need some help, hope you dont mind me gate crashing your thread - the issue is the state of my nipples; ds is 17M and 2M ago he grew some extra teeth and since then bfing him has been really painful as his teeth are shredding the skin on and around my nipples - what can i do? It mainly happens at night (he has had really awful eczema all over, now under control, and was bfing a lot for comfort) when I am lying down I think, I am too embarressed to see anyone about it now as they look awful, red and sore. I am using silverettes at night now but the damage has been done and i cant see any way of them healing up unless i stop bf. Any help gratefully received.

I haven't had this exact problem, but have had soreness when DS has been teething and bf more often than normal. The problem may be with his latch perhaps as teeth shouldn't be such a problem in themselves. When DS is uncomfortable I ask him to come 'off and on again' and he will unlatch and then return in a more comfortable position. Can you keep doing this (you will probably have to unlatch him to start until he gets the hang of what you are asking him to do) until his teeth aren't grazing you any more?

For the time being could you feed from one side to give the other a rest and then switch over after a while?

I guess you have seen the doc about the eczema - its worse in the winter isn't it? My DS has patches but sounds like your DS has it bad. Could you go back to the doctor and see if you can get his medicine reviewed?

Other thought is, its not teething is it? DS's molars took ages to come through and started around that age and he was bf for comfort a lot. Calpol before he went to bed helped. May be worth a try until your nipples get a bit bettter.

Ouch samba, that does sound painful

Have you got some Lansinoh? Putting that on your nipples might help them heal up. I'm sure it is just as effective when feeding toddlers as when you first began to feed a newborn

You could even put it on the worst of your DS's eczema. I had a very bad flare up after my ds was born, on my arms and backs of my hands, and the only thing that seemed to sooth it and help it heal was putting lansinoh on the backs of my hands, kept the skin moist and kept any trigger substances off it.

I think we have managed to successfully night wean DS and he is sleeping through the night (touch wood!).
He did wean himself off night feeds a few weeks ago, and stopped waking up, but then he got a bad cold so was waking up 2,3,4 times a night and only milkies would settle him.

But then last week,he cut down to waking only once, early in the morning, so decided to take the opportunity to cut out the night feeds. He did wake up the first couple of times wanting milkies, but when I gave him him his bedtime milkies I told him that he wouldn't get any more until morning. The first night he cried and I nearly gave him, but I kept soothing him by cuddling him, stroking his hair and telling him he could have milkies in the morning. I ended up sleeping next to him, but woke up a couple of hours later and he was still sound asleep, so went back to my own bed.
The next night he woke up and asked for milkies but accepted it straight away. The next night he didn't ask at all! And for the past 4 nights he hasn't woken up at all!

I am so relieved, the past 3 days I have been suffering from a really bad migraine so needed the sleep! IN addition, Daniel hasn't been waking up until 7.30am (as opposed to his usual 6am or earlier!) so I get a lie in :D

SO there is hope, because I honestly thought we would never get to this stage.

Of course by telling you I have now jinxed myself....

hi - new to thread - ds is 16months so guess I only just qualify.

Bouncing turtle hope you weren't jinxed and migraine has gone properly.

Am keen for this an other tips on nightweaning - ds did used to sleep well from 8pm to about 5:30am - feed and then go back to sleep. He was ill for a bit (usual teeth/ear/cold stuff) and though now totally well seems to have forgotten how to sleep - waking for at least two proper night feeds. it's over a month now and on top of that i've broken my shoulder. So on top of him waking i've got DH moaning that he's got to get up to lift DS out of cot and then put him back in. And i'm really tired and sore and working full time and just about on the edge. Sorry for moan but can anyone suggest how I minimise impact of feeding as I need a bit of a rest.

Hi there,
I'm not much of a chatter on these things but enjoy reading very much. But today, I have a question for all you great ladies. Have been BFing for 18months until today. Was up half the night last night with my girl cutting 2 teeth, wind and a snotty nose (feeding her until she managed to get some sleep). She slept in our bed holding onto me all night but not even sure if this or any of the above mentioned things relate to her waking this morning and acting like she'd never feed before. During the day, she pinched my breasts a few times but that was it. No diving or harping on! She was however, very clingy at bedtime. Is this normal? Is this what you called natural weaning? Any advice most welcome. Thanks for reading...

Hello!
Just wanted to stop in and say 'hi'
Am bf-ing my 15 month old who is showing no signs of wanting to stop and expect we will continue for the forseeable.
Just clicked on Puzzlerocks link and found myself reading Anns interview and responses. there's also a link amongst the comments which is interesting. Anyway great news that she is going to be doing a webchat!
I find myself pouring over these statistics as i am finding family and friends to be quite negative about extended breastfeeding. My dh is wonderful though! I find it difficult to stick up for myself though so feel empowered somewhat by reading what i can. Although i can never remember any of it when i need to quote it!!
Anyway sorry to bluster in and I hope it you won't mind if I join you all?!
Stotty x

Hello everybody, i've not been on this thread for a long time.
gruffalomama!!! You poor thing! I thought tandem feeding with a dislocated elbow was bad! I have 2 suggestions to help but I'm not giving them as "advice" for several reasons.

no1 Is he really hungry or is he waking on routine from being ill and then getting a milky reward? If you think that may be it you can try giving him water as then you are sating any thirst without a b/f reward. I know several toddlers ( my own included) who after a couple of nights of being offered water start sleeping through again.

The second option is to co-sleep so you don't have to get up at all, but it has its own risks.

What about a dropside on the cot?

Have you tried just giving him a cuddle? He may not want a feed - just reassurance?

tif

No Idea sorry, my ds has had feeding breaks of 2 or 3 days tho and then gone back to it again and he's 26 months.

Hi, never posted on any forum before but felt compelled to write and say how utterly brilliant it is that so many people are still bf past 1 year! My ds is 19 months and showing no signs of giving up. Have encountered some hostile attitudes mainly from so called friends! anyway ladies keep up the good work, my only bugbear is that my ds seems to think its perfectly acceptable to bf every hour during the night! ah well sure he will grow out of it eventually!

Many thanks for the advice. She's already back on it!
This is great as I've found it's really hard to ask around.

Thanks for chance to ask.
cheers and have a great weekend. am off to watch lady & the tramp for the 50th time x

Hi Kitkat - thanks for that - sorry coudn't type when I first looked back at the thread. Hmm - it has been a bit of pain. But lovely ds patted my boob last night and called it baba - and gave me a big smile. Made me feel a lot better!

I don't think he is really hungry but he's a bit of a milk monster so will take any whenever available. I will try to get DH to settle him back/just a cuddle - i would be quite keen on cosleeping but my shoulder makes that tricky (I sleep in a nest of pillows).

It's lovely to have somwhre to come and ask about this as I only know one RL mum who's bf as long as this and I have started getting some less than positive views from other mums.