ive just had a massive dressing down, for not bf in private, my cheeks are still burning

[tearymummy]

was at a cafe in town, this am, having a drink and stopping to feed dd
was sitting there quitely on my own with dd

three people at the table next to me started glaring over shaking there heads at me and talking about me loudly on purpose.
saying why don't some people realise there's a time and a place for everything and tutting, i could feel myself going relly red, but i was already half way though feeding dd.
i was too ashamed to say anything back.
then they got up to leave, i thought thankgoodness, but one of them came right over to me and said do you think people want to see you do that? i just wanted the ground to swollow me up, i felt so small i couldn't think of ANYTHING to say back, just sat there like some kind of dumb goldfish
she then said theres a time and a place for everything and bf is a private thing between a mother and a baby.
i feel all tearful now and like shit and even worse feel annoyed with myself for not even saying anything back

what could i have said, that would be a bit more intelligent than fuck off

im thinking bout ff dd when out now. but i just want the best for her
if i can't stick up for myself, i don't know what to say to people like that.

I'd have said that telling a hungry baby that 'there's a time and place for everything' isn't going to cut much ice. And that they are extremely rude, and that nobody is forcing them to watch, and that it's people like them that put people off bf and...etc. etc....(and breathe).

Please don't let them put you off. Thank goodness horrible people like that are in the minority, and most will be supportive (or won't even notice).

Hugs to you; what a nasty experience .

Were they older? My mum is from the "formula feed" generation and I think public breastfeeding seemed to be a bit of a no no in their time.

I always tried to wear something so that it wasnt obvious what I was doing as I know when I was younger if someone had breasfed in front of me I would have been very

poor you. I'd have been exactly the same, luckily have never had any -ve reactions. Maybe think up some retorts for next time so you don't have to think.
Please don't let it put you off (not sure how old your DD is) I have bf DS in public for a year now (not continuously, just feels like it!) and have never had anything but nice comments.

the only thing the derserved to hear at that time was:

Oh Fuck off... (before I spray some milk in your tea / eye.)

You were right. people like that have and will always be bullies. they could see that you were becoming mortified with their behaviour but instead of stopping they kicked you when you were already down.

for someone else it would be for their parenting style, hairstyle, cooking, dress sense...

they were in their pack and launched at you.

Bastards. Your poor thing.

BTW I think your gut reaction (fuck off) was perfectly valid

lol - we all had the same thoughts!
It's made you feel awful but it really is their problem and NOT yours. Really!

I am so sorry you had this happen to you. how bloody awful .
Don't let it put you off. If I had seen you I would have been full of encouraging smiles (and probably looked like a loon) and I hope I might even have said something encouraging if I was feeling brave.
They are IGNORANT and STUPID.

"Fuck off you ignorant nosey busybody" would have been about intelligent enough for me .

Seriously, I'm so sorry you've had this horrible experience, please don't let it put you off though as these sorts of attitudes need to be challenged - the more women who BF in public the more socially acceptable it becomes.

I've never had any negative comment ever but I live in Scotland where it is illegal to harrass a BF mother. If anyone did hassle me I'd take great pleasure in getting the police involved.

"im thinking bout ff dd when out now. but i just want the best for her "

You might get some judgey comments if you ff in public too. Mothers can't win! Do what is best for you and your DD.

good point liath, I wonder where the OP lives.

very very on your behalf
this is why we need a law!
you are not in Scotland are you? to harass a bf woman is illegal there.
I would have said, you should be ashamed of yourself bullying a woman feeding a baby like that. leave me alone and stop harassing me otherwise I will call the police.
and I would have complained to the manager that these people were harassing you
please don't feel ashamed! you are doing a wonderful thing! honestly there aren't many ignorant, stupid bullies out there! lots of people are very very supportive
if people are embarrassed, that is their problem and they should look away
sending love, and hugs
HC xx

DO NOT ff your baby because of some ignorant persons comment.

WTF is wrong with everyone???

I long for the day that becomes law in England too, liath - indeed, I petitioned my MP, but it seems to be on the back burner.

Whenever I see a bf mother I always smile - hopefully in a friendly way, though they probably think I'm insane .

I think fuck off would have been just the right level of intelligence for them.

oh yes fuck off and leave me alone would work just as well

Yes im with vanilla if I had seen people behaving like that to a BF mother I probably wouldnt have been able to stop myself saying something to them.

and on your behalf

what cafe where? we'll all come and whip out our boobs, bf or not and hopefully they're regulars

cheeky dried up miserable old mares

That's horrible. I'm on no 3 and never had any negative comments - they are definitely in the minority.

Just out of interest, were they male/female, and what sort of age.

Maybe next time you think you may have to feed in public, take a script with you, of witty/cutting phrases to throw back. Maybe go back to the cafe and ask them if they'd consider putting a sign up saying 'bfing mums welcome' - I think there are official signs around they could use.

Some people are unbelievable - would they rather get the odd glimpse of flesh, or hear a baby screaming for food.

I agree with every one else say "fuck of you ignorant uneducated bitch Concentrate on your coffee instead of what others are doing"

I cant believe some peoples attutudes to feeding babies please try not to be to upset about this they are in the wrong do not feel embarrassed

lol at dizzydixies

Some people are just insensitive bastards. For what it's worth, I don't think I'd have a great response to someone like that. You were probably right with your first reaction, to say 'fuck off', although your second reaction of not to say anything might have saved you an even more aggressive response!

I am still bf ds3, but only at home as he's 18 months now. I promise that if I ever see anyone getting a hard time for bf, I shall stick up for them.

Good luck and well done for posting this - hope support makes you feel better.

good idea to tell the cafe and hopefully get them on board

So sorry you had to go through that tearymummy. Nasty vicious old bats

I think I might have thought of something to say but I wouln't guarantee it would be intelligent.