"Breast feeding is disgusting"

[TheBookofRuth]

So said my best friend over a group lunch today. I held my tongue - yes, it was an insensitive thing to say in front of me as I'm still bfing my two year old DD and planning on bfing my second DC who's due in July, but it was hardly news to me that she thinks that and we are good enough friends to survive a difference of opinion.

However, when she followed that up with "there's actually no evidence that it's any better for babies than formula", I had to speak up. Eventually someone changed the subject to Palestine on the grounds that it was less controversial.

Sounds like she was being outrageous and provocative like an adult doing a tantrum. If you'd hugged her right then d'you think she might have broken down completely?

Out of interest, did she say why she finds breastfeeding "disgusting"?

Formula is just as good as breast milk, you are unfair to people who cannot breastfeed!

Formula is not as good as breastmilk. That is a fact.

Some people find breast feeding 'disgusting' or 'weird' or 'wrong', mainly because we have been conditioned to see breasts as purely sexual things. People have lost sight of the fact that their original and main purpose is to feed our young. We are, after all, mammals.

Formula is a perfectly satisfactory alternative, but unfortunately as it wasn't tailored by nature to meet each specific baby's needs, then it will never be as good as breast milk.

Regardless of how women choose to, or need to feed their babies though, they certainly shouldn't be branded 'disgusting'. That's plain rude and nasty.

Tbh it's a bit disturbing she would think that.
Maybe she needs counselling.
Does she drink milk surely that is weirder.

She can think what she wants to think but maybe she should actually get her facts straight before coming out with complete rubbish! You did well to hold your tongue at the first comment

Chancer - I know what you are trying to say, but breast milk is better for babies than formula, however if you can't breast feed, then formula milk is better than starving.

Thank god I wasn't there, I'd have waded in with a "oh, grow the fuck up you ignoramous".
And I ff

It's not that uncommon as a belief in people who haven't had children. It may be misguided but it's likely to change if she becomes a mother. I think it often is the sex thing.

Terriblemother has got the way with the words

oh and OP, next time, just head tilt and say "you obviously have issues with what your breasts are for, do you want to talk about your body issues or do you want to carry on attacking everyone else who have a more balanced attitude to their body?" anything else she says "I get it, you're not good with bodily functions." Refuse to debate breast feeding, just keep saying it's obviously her issue.

Chancer - I know what you are trying to say, but breast milk is better for babies than formula, however if you can't breast feed, then formula milk is better than starving.

formula is a hell of a lot better than starving. Jesus.

I'm not disputing 'breast is best' but the difference isn't really comparable to starving.

That's so rude :/ I would of asked if she had an issue with weeing/sex then if she has such a weird issue with natural bodily functions. What a totally bizarre comment.

Terriblemother is spot on.

Breasts are seen as sexual, and this is why many people think breastfeeding is disgusting an inappropriate.

I know a few people who are uncomfortable with seeing women breastfeed in public.

you can't compare breastfeeding to weeing or having sex

Is she happy to drink the breast milk of a cow? Is that digesting too or are udders not sexual? Hmmm, they might be to a bull.

Disgusting not digesting!

I wasn't comparing at all! But they are all natural bodily functions or am I wrong?! I would of just reminded her of that fact and it is a fact, that is what breasts are for. :S

"I get it, you're not good with bodily functions." Exactly how I would of put it!

it was hardly news to me that she thinks that and we are good enough friends to survive a difference of opinion.

Are you good enough friends to survive her publicly getting really personal digs in in front of other people?

She sounds like a fucking dose.

I couldn't be doing with a "friend" who deliberately went out of her way to criticise the way I fed my baby in public like that.

I'm with you Join. I would boot her arse and tit fuck tits out of my friendship zone for being such a goading arsehole.

Nah, this isn't just any friend, this is my best friend. We've been through hell and back together, and she can make me laugh when the rest of the world is making me cry.

Like I say, I knew she held that opinion, and she knows me well enough to know it makes absolutely no damn difference to how I chose to feed my child. Also, when I was struggling to get bfing established (a very distressing time which means I have nothing but sympathy for women who want to bf and can't!), she was very supportive and sympathetic - and not in a "well just give formula" sense.

But I won't stand for her claiming that that there's no evidence that breast milk is any better than formula, because that's just factually incorrect and utter nonsense.

Why would your best friend be such a dick to you in public?

She sounds dreadful.

Very very few women truly cannot breastfeed.

The overwhelmingly majority of women who believe that they 'can't' haven't been properly educated. For example, they believe that the baby continually asking for milk means they're not producing enough and so supplement, whereas actually a baby asking for milk is normal and how your body is stimulated to make more (so giving a bottle is the absolute worse thing you can do and almost inevitably will lead to FF).

Being physiologically unable to BF is extremely rare. Women need more support and education, not to be led to accept and believe that they are unable to BF.