SIL left her 5 wk old baby for 12 hrs without milk :S

[worriedwhocanadvise]

I have name changed for this.

Just after some advice really.

Quick background, SIL had first baby 5 weeks ago. She has (undiagnosed) SN and personally I was worried before she even had the baby as to how she was going to cope with one. MIL and FIL had to clear up their house 3 wks before baby was due because they were worried that SS would take the baby off their daughter. She is married to a total loser (another long long story), both SIL and BIL are on benefits (just saying so as to not dripfeed) but 'can't remember' what has happened to the £500 they got from the govt to help set them up. PIL's have so far provided all of the things for the baby (nursery, pram etc etc)

Anyway. Was on phone to MIL last night. She was really upset. Said that SIL wasn't supporting the baby's head correctly when she was holding him, and that she'd noticed he was looking very skinny/weak. She asked her daughter, how is he feeding, and SIL replied, he's not hungry so I don't give him any milk. Transpires he's had ONE feed in the last 12 hours.

From what we can gather, HV has commented that he's not gaining weight the way that he should be.

I don't have any children yet (due in 8 weeks), and I'm planning on BF'ing anyways. But my question is, how much FF milk should a baby be given during a 24 hr period? I'm really looking for some advice to give to MIL so that MIL is giving correct information to her daughter. MIL is concerned that SS are going to get involved and take her grandson away. Obviously, there are big issues going on here, but I'd just like some advice on how much milk a new baby should be getting.

[zeeboo]

I'm not sure the panic here is warranted. My oldest three children were bottle fed and all slept from 6pm to 6am from 6 weeks so that was 12 hours without milk. All were in 7oz bottles in the day and all thriving.

[Rubirosa]

It is not important to them water! No unweaned baby should be given water, just milk.

[milkymocha]

I beg to differ Rubi but, all that matters on this post is that OP tries to get that little baby help

Terribly worrying!

[BabylonPI]

SS and A&E now.

Poor little mite

[DanyTargaryen]

Stuff relationships with SIL etc, call social services, HV, anything you have to do to get that baby some help. PLEASE. We are all very concerned!

[Panzee]

You don't give newborns water. I FF and only gave water once weaning.

[didoreth]

Phone SS now - you will never forgive yourself if this baby is harmed and you could have done something. Better to overreact and upset people than underreact in this situation. Its not normal for a 5 week old to 'not be hungry'.

[VerityClinch]

Call. An. Ambulance.

Stop posting NOW and call a fucking ambulance.

[Rubirosa]

milky I'm sure you mean well but too much water can be very harmful for babies and is almost never necessary.

[scentednappyhag]

Agree with PPs, that baby needs to be seen by a doctor.
When did SIL last see HV?
Why are her SN undiagnosed? Is she reluctant to seek help with them?

[bonnieslilsister]

Agree with Rubirosa

[puds11]

But zeeboo did your children put on more than 1pound from birth?

With the lack of information, it is always best to air on the side of caution rather than ignore it and hope things turn out ok.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

No my baby was FF.

I have never heard that babies need water before weaning starts. They get everything they need from milk.

[hlipop]

water is advised for babies when it is hot weather to keep them hydrated when they aren't hungry for formula fed or breatfed babies by our hv

[showtunesgirl]

Even in VERY hot weather babies do not water before weaning. kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/baby-water/

[notMarlene]

Look, if the OP's SIL can't manage to feed her baby enough and can't distinguish lack of hunger from lethargy she's highly unlikely to be faffing about feeding him cooled boiled water whatever the rights and wrongs of it.

[Iggly]

Report to SS.

Yes some babies might go 12 hours without feeds but they are few and far between. This baby is Not Well.

Why are the needs/wants/whatever of the mother being put above those of the baby FFS?!!!!!!!

[AitchTwoOhOneTwo]

all i can remember is how much (negative) attention i got from hvs etc when i was struggling to bf... really, babies that little can't go without food for that long, if they're not asking for it they're struggling already.

i would be terribly, terribly worried about this baby, they can go downhill so fast.

[Lifeisontheup]

I would ring 999 and tell them baby is lethargic. It is really serious and not for waiting to call SS at the weekend. It is a medical emergency, if the ambulance can't gain access they will call police.
Make sure you tell them all the details including the SN so they have all the facts.
I NEVER normally advocate calling 999 but in this case the babies life is at immediate risk.

[GeekLove]

Call an ambulance! If you explain the situation they will not think you are messing around as it concerns a baby.
Also if SS do intervene could you consider fostering the baby?

[HereLittleKitty]

YOU NEED to call SS now!!

Gather all the information you can, her adress, the fact she has undiagnosed SN and other people hve to clean the house ect and REPORT IT.

Tell them you hear she is not feeding the baby and its lethargic and you fee the baby needs to be seen NOW.

Take the name of the person you speak to, tell them you wish to remin anonymous to the family if need be and you will be calling back in an hour to see what has been done.

Do it now!

[savemefromrickets]

You can call the NSPCC regarding general concerns for any child and they will alert SS for you. If you want to stay anonymous just make sure you refer to 'a friend and her child' rather than 'SIL'. I rang them thinking I was over reacting over something and was told that SS needed to be informed.

[HappySunflower]

To the OP:

PLEASE do not entrust the care of this baby to your MIL, by that, I mean- don't assume that she is going to make sure he is well looked after.

I cannot stress how serious this is.
Young babies can get dehydrated very easily.
I am less concerned at SS removing him than I am him ending up seriously ill- and your MIL needs to take that attitude on board too.

[ZuleikaD]

Call social services. Get someone round there to check on this baby and if still not being fed Get. An. Ambulance.

Nobody wants to panic but babies this small (especially babies who've only put on a pound since birth) have no reserves AT ALL.

And please come back and tell all the incredibly worried mothers here what's happened.

[pumpkinsweetie]

This baby needs to be looked after, and unfortunetly this isn't happening
Your mil & fil need to intervene and if she still cannot be helped the ss need to know as her baby will become very ill.

Fwiw- newborns should be feeding atleast every 3/4 hours, so around 6-7 bottles in one 24 hr period.
12 hours is too long for babies to go without a feed.
This needs ergent adressing im afraid