what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

I just think its sad that society have manged to make yet another person feel like they have to use a cover to be let alone when bf

bastards

It never makes me think that the user is trying to draw attention to herself

I've never seen one in use, but I would just think it's a shame the mother feels she has to cover up. I wouldn't think she was trying to draw attention to herself.

Have you tried wearing a vest pulled down with a loose top you can pull up? Or big cardigans (I have a waterfall type cardi that's good for this) that you can pull around yourself and the baby?

TBH I do find myself noticing women who are using them more than women who are bf without- a quick glance in the latter situation usually just looks like a cuddle. I don't think anything of it but do see it more if you know what I mean!

If it means you feel a bit better about feeding when out and about go for it.

But have you tried feeding in front of a mirror at home? Then you can get a proper idea of how much you have 'on show' and can practice until you feel a bit more comfortable.

Also the 'two tops' method, very popular on MN, you wear a stretchy vest top and your t-shirt on top, pull up t shirt, pull down vest et voila, no tum and minimal boobage on show.

HTH!

I do tend to notice that someone is breastfeeding more when they have the bebe au lait thingy, but while I notice the breastfeeding, obviously I cannot see anything - so if it makes you feel covered up then do wear one if it makes you feel comfortable and you feel you have no alternative.

I never used one - don't think I used Muslins either. Personallynever saw the need. Have you practiced with a well-draped muslin. They're less eye catching.

Basically - so people notice that youre feeding but cannot actually see anything that would make you feel uncomfortable if you're wearing the cover. So wear it with pride!

I agree with you, that even though you are trying to hide bfing, it also draws attention to you.

They are a hassle to carry around and I imagine it's a bit dark underneath for the baby feeding.

I use Ritamorgan's method, a top that I can pull up, and a cardigan (in the winter) that I can pull across.

And I agree with Trinity, I find it sad to see women using these, that the woman herself thinks it's necessary to cover up to this extent while bfing.

I've never seen one. Before I got good at it i found a baby blanket or a large scarf worked for us. But I have let BFing completely dictate my wardrobe, so i wear vests with a boobtube thing under, so one goes up and the other goes down. I don't wear anything that buttons down.

I think i would be sympathetic if I saw one, as I would understand that the woman prob was not very confident about BFing. It does piss me off that BF is not taken for granted though.

As an aside, maybe more people do do it. I am very subtle about it, often people will talk to me or baby while she is feeding and don't appear to notice

Anyway, good luck!

The other thing to remember is that public breastfeeding is very tricky at first - you're trying to move clothes, unclip bra, hold a wriggly hungry baby, latch them on, you feel flustered and hot and like everyone is looking - but it soon becomes much easier. Before long you just have to get the baby in the vicinity of a nipple and they sort themselves out You'll be able to unclip your bra with one hand, support the baby on your other arm, and continue your conversation all at the same time..

I think it's perfectly understandable to want to use one if you are out in public, particularly if you are new to breastfeeding, have a baby that pulls off a lot leaving you exposed, or you are, for example, in a park full of leering, sniggering schoolboys. However I had a friend who used to use it at my house which I found a bit strange, as there were only me, her and the babies there, and I was feeding too.

Never noticed anyone using one, but then never noticed anyone BF without one either until I started doing it myself a few months ago. I live in a very BF friendly area so I suspect not many people use them. I guess this supports the theory that very few people actually notice BF at all !
I too have massive boobs (38J) and find that the more I try and cover up the more of a faff it becomes, so I don't bother. By all means use the cover if it makes you feel more confident in the beginning and sod what anyone else thinks ! You may find once you have had a bit more practice you don't need it anymore.
Good luck.

i do notice someone bfing if they are using a cover
whereas i am certain that i don't notice women feeding who aren't using covers - the latter just looks like a nice sleepy cuddle.

for first public feeds i would recommend the two-tops method (i have practiced in front of a mirror and this is definitely the most discreet outfit. also, take someone supportive with you - ideally another bfer, but a partner or friend will do. you feel less conspicuous if you have someone to chat with, and reassure you.

I think that you draw more attention to yourself if you are uncomfortable and fussing around, so if it enables you to latch your baby on quickly and relax then I am all for it. It is about you, not other people.

I am thinking about getting one as even though my DD is pretty good, I am getting sick of wearing the singlet/top option (I have a dress that I want to wear) and she is starting to get a bit curious about what is going on around her and often pops on and off.

I've never seen anyone using one (and I tend to notice these things) but if I did, I'd think how lovely it was to see another BFing mum, feeding the way that she felt comfortable. It's your baby, your feeding method, your choice. Please try not to worry about what people think. You're doing a wonderful thing in the way that works for you.

Of course we "should" all feel comfortable without messing around with covers, muslins, etc. But let's face it - not everyone does irrespective of society, it's a very personal thing.

You do what works for you, whatever that is, if it helps you to breastfeed.

I wouldn't think anything. Maybe, "hmmmmmm, breastfeeding's nice, isn't it?"

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

A friend of mine used one, I only saw her not using it in her own home when it was just one or 2 of us female friends. Anywhere in public or any more people at home than that she used a cover. I didn't think anything to be honest, I certainly wouldn't think someone was drawing attention to themselves, just that they were modest and felt more comfortable not showing flesh. If you want to use one because you feel more comfortable do it.

I was going to post about this the other day, I have seen 2 people using them recently. One at a kids party where there were just mums and toddlers and one in a cafe.

Tbh I think it's a shame women feel they have to cover up and it does make it more obvious. The one in the cafe, the only reason I glanced at her was because I saw this bright flowery material and it caught my eye! However if it enables more women to BF in public then it's a good thing I suppose.

I have BF everywhere and anywhere and generally noone bats an eyelid. The few comments I have had have all been positive. In the early days I used BF tops with a waterfall cardi, but now I tend to just wear a vest underneath and pull my top up. Once you get the hang of it noone can see anything, and tbh I'm not that bothered if anyone does see a quick flash of boob anyway!

I was going to post about this the other day, I have seen 2 people using them recently. One at a kids party where there were just mums and toddlers and one in a cafe.

Tbh I think it's a shame women feel they have to cover up and it does make it more obvious. The one in the cafe, the only reason I glanced at her was because I saw this bright flowery material and it caught my eye! However if it enables more women to BF in public then it's a good thing I suppose.

I have BF everywhere and anywhere and generally noone bats an eyelid. The few comments I have had have all been positive. In the early days I used BF tops with a waterfall cardi, but now I tend to just wear a vest underneath and pull my top up. Once you get the hang of it noone can see anything, and tbh I'm not that bothered if anyone does see a quick flash of boob anyway!

To be honest my first thought would be 'great. Another thing that some manufacturer has come up with to sell to new mums who are already convinced that having a baby means owning three rooms full of gadget and shit'

If I felt the need to be discreet I just pulled a light blanket off the pram... sorry, travel system with matching accessories.

But if it helps you feel comfortable then great

I've never seen anyone using one.

If I did I would probably firstly think (fondly) "aaah I remember those b/f days" but then also maybe wonder why the mother felt she had to cover up (ie. personal preference/shyness or whether society made her feel uncomfortable about it and made her feel that she should cover up )

Personally I do think it is just another thing to buy and no more use than a muslin tucked in your bra strap or a pashmina which is better when they are older because it is bigger. All my children have been bf for ages and clearly I am not worried about getting the tats out in public.

I think it is just a lot of faff (and more to carry) for no gain but then I have 4 kids and no changing bag just a voluminous handbag with everything known to man in it.

I would first of think, "yey good for you bfing" but then feel sad that you felt you needed to cover up. I certainly wouldn't have thought you were drawing attention to yourself.
And I wouldn't attach any blame to you at all for feeling you needed to cover up, just our fucked up society and its weird attitude to women's breasts - i.e it's okay for some cosmetically enhanced bimbo to flash them in a "news"paper such as the Sun but not okay for you to show a little bit of breast whilst using them for their primary purposes - feeding your baby.

At times I have used a cover but mainly just a muslim if I felt I needed it (because DS could be wriggly at times and would pull off unexpectedly!) But mainly I use the 2 layer tops, one to pull down, one to pull up or put a cardi on. A little shrug or light pashmina I found was a useful cover especially in warm weather when you don't want lots layers on making you and baby sticky and hot!

I think that they are not very common in this country, so you might actually draw more attention simply because htye are unusual.

Just to check, you are pulling your top up and latching your baby on, rather than down, aren't you?

And have you thought about wearing a big unbuttoned shirt over a t shirt so you can push the t shirt up and drape the overshirt round you?

Ooh, one of my fave mumsnet typos has appeared :)

Kara, where did you find a willing Muslim to use as a cover when you were bf, and how did you get them to be positioned in the right place?

I have one and rarely use it now, because I found getting it on awkward. I tend to only use it, in fact, when feeding with people who know me and what I'm doing such as when with male friends and family. Out and about amongst strangers with female friends and DH, I use the two tops option.