what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

I completely agree with cakeandroses and could have written her post word for word. (and probably have done close to this on previous "bf cover threads").

I don't really care what other people think of the cover, if they think it's ugly, odd looking...whatever, it doesn't bother me. I like it. I just don't want to show my breasts.

My body, my choice as to what I show or don't show. It's not a "shame" that I didn't want to show my breasts or that I wanted to use a bf cover - it was just my choice. It's a "shame" that women put pressure on other women about this. I agree with everyone who says do what works for you. Those who make fun of the covers or women who use them or feel it's a pity that they can't just use a muslin or feed without any cover are quite narrow minded. news flash. This is not liberal thinking. It's actually quite narrow.

I have no problem with a woman who uses a cover or who doesn't use a cover. I have no problem with a woman who wants to feed completely topless. I would not judge or any of these scenarios. It's sad that some people do. :(

What you do when you're out feeding a baby who likes to suddenly stop and sit up and look around is hold a small flannel or something of that sort in one hand (the free hand that's not holding the baby is best) while bfing and clap it over your boob when the baby unlatches.

I have always found that a blanket held up by the hand that's not around the baby sufficed as a little screen between the boob and the general public. Only someone standing right over you and peering down could possibly see anything that way, and I always felt that if someone was going to go to that much trouble they were welcome to cop an eyeful...

Mine always kicked scarves and covers off, even from the earliest days. I found that maternity bras were far more trouble than they were worth, with all that clipping and unclipping. It was easier for me to wear an ordinary non-underwire bra and just pull it up and then back down again.

Haven't read the whole thread, but I wonder if these cover thingies would help with my problem. I have no problem flashing my boobs in public, and DD helps with this at all times by popping off and craning her head around for a good look at the world. My problem is that her curiosity means that feeds can take ages. Would a cover/muslin/muslim/waterfall cardie make life boring enough for her to concentrate?

they make me feel geuinely sad

that some women feel the need to use them

and yes they do draw more attention

mathanxiety, the cover you just put over your head and it hangs around your neck. There's a wiry bit at the top so you can see the baby and your breast but others can't. Both hands are then free. When baby latches and unlatches, it's also fuss free. It's just another alternative to the flannel you're talking about. I personally found the cover easier as it would just hang there and it was hands free. :)

carrie - I guess it is :( that I have been sexually assaulted, yes. But not :( that I used one. And I don't care that they drew a lot of attention. I was proud to bf! Very proud. I just didn't want to expose my breasts. Some people have other issues to deal with.... and we shouldn't have to wear a special sign that says "please excuse me for wearing this. I have been a victim of sexual abuse".

Mine all had an objection to covers, so the little blanket screen was my alternative. They weren't used to any kind of cover at home and I suppose they were a bit startled at the darkness and maybe the heat of being covered up when we were out.

Fruitybread - totally agree with your last line. I think feeding in public is great, but how/when/where you do it is a totally personal decision and if bf-ing cover-ups make some people feel more comfortable then they should use them.

I feel a bit hmmm about all the people who are saying they feel sad because women shouldn't feel they have to cover-up. As others have pointed out the point of these garments is not necessarily to conceal breastfeeding, but to conceal boobs (or saggy tummies) which the owners don't want to be displayed. It is for those reasons that I wouldn't wear a bikini and I think we can all agree that is a personal rather than a political choice.

have patience. sorry for what you have been through.
i wasn't trying to say what people should or shouldn't do, just saying what my reactions rightlly/wring to seeing a cover makes me feel iyswim

i suppose they just make me personally feel sad, as i was told by several people that it[bf] should be done in private and that its ok if done discretly etc, trouble is the babies dont always latch on easily
sometimes the babies come off, sometimes you have to hold them in a funny position so you can't always discratly bf and why should i be made to feel bad for bf my baby

Never seen anyone using one but wish I'd invented one! Manufacturers of baby related stuff will flog anything! Breastfeeding is supposedly "free" but not if you buy into all that bonkers stuff. I just get my norks out, heh heh! At first I must admit it's difficult to latch baby on without any nipple showing, but once the baby's head is bigger it's in front of your nipple and completely covering it from view anyway so I don't worry about it at all now and have b/f-ed on the bus and in the park. No-one is actually looking anyway. Most people politely ignore. The only comments I've had have been from elderly ladies and all have been entirely positive.

I agree that when baby suddenly sits up you need a cloth to hand, or be ready to put boob back inside bra/breastpad - or you get squirting! I use a small terry towelling square or flannel, or just a cotton breast pad.

Carrie no one should be made to feel badly for bf. I agree with that. Even people who use a cover. They shouldn't have to feel badly just because they want a cover. Just like you shouldn't feel badly because you don't want to use one. Every woman should be able to bf how she pleases :)

math - the bebe au lait one is like a thin sheet, so not dark at all, or hot. Just cosy. It worked for us. It doesn't work for some people. Different strokes for different folks.

have patience perhaps its just one of those things where you can feel bad whatever you do!
next time im coming back as a man, seems so much easier!

they make me feel geuinely sad

For real? Maybe take the money you saved not buying one and order yourself some perspective.

lol i wish i could buy some perpective, i bloodywell need it at times [grins]

theres a few issues that i get irrational about and bf is probably one of them.

i think whatever you feel comfortable with. At the start of bfing i always wore breastfeeding topics- they pulled down which felt better but has material at the top as well which left my boobs properly covered - if I didn't have one of these on I'd use a muslin draped over my shoulder.
I think the problem at first is that it takes longer to latch the baby on so more risk of showing everything.
Now I don't bother with anything But i think the best advice is to have tops that pull up as that way you only really flash your tummy which you can position the baby to cover.
I have found myself staring at people with baby covers as they seem to take ages to put them on and it is highly visible so you may get funny looks

Reading this while breastfeeding. Clicked the link to the breastfeeding hat and cracked up laughing. Nursing infant was jolted off my breast. Now looking decidedly put out!

Like lots of others, I didn't notice bf in public before i started doing it myself and now i think that's because it's often far more discreet than it feels. Even if baby is fussing.

Have seen a lot of these covers recently, too late for me though as ds now refuses any sort of cover that stops him looking around! But at 22 months I rarely feed him in public now. Anything that helps people to feed in public has to be good but personally I wouldn't have bothered with one as felt fine with muslin/cardy. I did use slings from time to time as it meant I could walk about and do stuff during the early days whilst feeding, found that more useful than a cover.

I haven't read back so I apologise if I am going over old ground. I do think they draw attention to the fact you are bfing but I don't see why that is a problem. I didn't bother with a bespoke cover but always had a muslin cloth/teatowel/blanket/sheet handy. I tend to wear cardies anyway and found they worked best for me.

Basically, if it works for you, do it!

I have a bebe au lait cover bought as a present and use it occasionally. I really don't give a shit what people think. I certainly don't feel I have to cover myself up or conversely want to draw attention to the fact I am breastfeeding. Its helpful sometimes to be able to pop ds underneath it and he doesn't get distracted. Sometimes he fusses before I can get a good latch so it stops my nipples being exposed. Its got a handy piece of wire or something in the top bit so you can look down at baby and it's not fiddly at all to use.

It certainly had never even crossed my mind to be judgy about them but if you see me using one then judge away, cause I don't care!

Reastle my figure sounds similar to yours and I am strictly a dress only girl. I got a few bf'ing dresses from mama.licious and they are great.

I also cut a horizontal line under the bust of my H&M mat vest tops and stick that under a stretchy dress. Then I can pull the top of the dress down and a bit of vest up.

I was a lot more concious of my big flabbby tummy being exposed. So I bought a boob-tube from primark and wore it around my middle, under my clothes! I have small boobs and found it very easy to cover up and I bet not one ever saw a bit of nipple. At best, I used a pashmina which a- is pretty, b- can double up as a baby carrier and c- works fine.

Having said that, I have only felt self conscious about BFing on two seperate occasions (once in a very overcrowded hospital waiting room and the people next to me were very very close to me). and in a very fancy gastro pub (I don't know why!) for two babies and a total of three years BFing.

I think that the covers might attract more attention than a nice pashmina, but you do whatever you feel comfortable with. I wouldn't judge anyone on this subject.

reastie - if it works for you then go for it. The pattern on it is no more "out there" than a shirt might be.

I've seen a couple in action. I've never used them myself, and yes, it's clear you're breastfeeding in one - but then only if someone's looking at you, and if they were looking at you they'd know anyway iyswim!

There's quite a lot of sniffiness about them on MN but RL is a whole other place! Really, anything that helps has to be a good idea.

If you feel like it'll make it easier to feed with one, then use one - but do consider trying without. YOu get used to it very quickly, and as most of the posts here have said, there are all sorts of ways to feed without flashing your flesh. I suspect that a lot of people use the covers in the early weeks when it can be really hard to get a good latch without a lot of fumbling about (or hard to thread an engorged boob through the sometimes tiny keyholes that breastfeeding tops incorporate ), and then get up their confidence and ditch the cover. I have myself NEVER seen anyone use one.

I used to feel sad about them (having never even seen one in action! ) but I think now, if I saw one, I'd be pretty happy, because to me they represent a mother who otherwise might not be breastfeeding outside her house. Yes, they shouldn't be necessary but they're a tool, not a life choice, and if they make things easier then that's great.

I'm on my second baby now and I find that I just don't care. I went to a Christening in a dress the other day - it wasn't a breastfeeding dress, just stretchy at the top, and with a pashmina over the top of my boob, I fed DS2 in the church, at the party afterwards...and if it hadn't been a ceremonial occasion but just a playdate with friends, I suspect I'd just have wapped the boob out over the top and got on with it!

I used one for my first baby, but can't be bothered with number 2! Partly because all my friends have now had babies and we've all BFed in front of each other, so I've ceased to care. It was mostly to prevent their husbands getting embarrassed, actually, before they were used to the sight of BFing.