what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

Very hard to bf discreetly in a dress. Go for skirt and top. Honesttly, once you get used to it it's easy peasy.

Agree with seeker, I don't wear dresses because I cannot bf comfortably in them, but like reastle, my post baby shape means very few dresses suit me anyway.

I can never understand why people on here presume that b/f mums cover up because they are somehow ashamed or feel pressured by society in to doing so and we see lots of faces at this.

I can't speak for everyone but I cover up in case my nipple decides to squirt milk in a random direction when my baby pulls away. The couple on the table next to me probably don't want to get breast milk in their soup.

I also don't want to show off my new mum jelly belly which until I'm more adept at this breastfeeding lark seems to escape in the latching on process

To op, I find a lightweight large sized scarf the easiest when out and about.

I've never seen anyone use one. Which could mean they aren't that common round my way, or that they are actually quite unobtrusive and I haven't noticed, or that I am singularly unobservant.

If I did spot one I certainly wouldn't think anything negative about the woman using it. But you may be asking the wrong sample since I'd hope no one on here has a problem with feeding in public. On the other hand people who do make women feel uncomfortable when feeding in public are invariably tossers so I hope you aren't worrying about what they think.

It gets awkward when the baby starts to use the artfully draped muslin squares to play "peek a boo" with customers in the cafe exposing acres of boob!! So I prefered to just use the two tops method. I wouldnt think you were trying to draw attention to yourself, but I really think two tops is easier to manage. I cant say I personally like those covers, because I dont think women should be encouraged to think that they have to cover up, but if it makes you feel happier then go for it.

I think 'gosh that makes it more obvious that she's feeding' and 'sad that she feels like she has to cover up'.

I had a " bump band" when I was pregnant which covered your belly so you could feel confident when wearing any not-quite-big-enough maternity tops. I carried on wearing it when breastfeeding so it covered my belly when I pulled my top up to breastfeed.

Ah now I understand what my SIL had around her at my DSs christening. I thought it was some sort of curtain! It certainly covers everything up but is not particularly discreet.

I don't think it matters that they make it more obvious someone is breastfeeding - presumably the person breastfeeding isn't worried people will know she is breastfeeding, just worried they might glimpse some boob.

Might not work for you, but I quite often went for legging/skinny jeans under a dress/tunic/long top type thing, then popped ds on my lap (often on a cushion if one available), then hitched top/dress up. DS/cushion covered my tummy, and i had one hand supporting ds, then one hand holding my boob (ridiculous large norkage, and if didn't do this it suffocated him!), and also sort of holding the top in place iyswim?

But no i don't mind those covers at all, whatever works for you. I certainly wouldn't think you were deliberately drawing attention, unlike those ridiculous stickers some women put on bottles of expressed breast milk!

reastie, well done for BF-ing, and I think you have to do whatever you feel works best for you.

A simple practical observation is that it sounds like you might just need a bf cover with a less bright/noticeable pattern on it!

I think (as a couple of others have pointed out here) - if you see a woman using one, don't assume you know her thoughts and feelings. And don't race to judge her.

When I was pregnant, there was a horrible thread on here along the lines of OMG! saw a women using a BRIGHT (whatever colour) BF cover, and I just thought, oh, you're just drawing attention to yourself, how stupid... blah blah.

At the time I wanted to BF, but was very anxious about showing any breast in public - not because I was brainwashed by society and only think boobs are for porn, but because I have a history of sexual abuse, and it's very, very important for me to have control over who sees or touches my body. Especially more private areas.

I was considering a cover, and bought one - but it honestly upset me so much to think that other women (BF-ing mums, of all people) would judge me, and either pity me or think I was being silly.

(As it turned out, I don't have a problem with BF-ing in public, I just pull my top up. I'm not sure why it doesn't bother me - I think a hungry screaming baby bothers me more, in the moment! And I never got the hang of all this 'juggle a muslin/pashmina' business - which, by the way, is still covering up, I don't see that it's superior to buying a cover. It might save you twenty quid, is all).

Another thing to bear in mind is that for me, with a baby who latched on easily, and who never had shredded nipples or sudden let down/spray to contend with, BF-ing was quite easy. I had a friend with battered nipples who needed to use nipple shields, and used a cover to BF because she really didn't want to put silicone shields on in public. A prude? Brainwashed by society? nope, a committed mum trying very hard to bf despite considerable setbacks.

It's a bigger and more complex picture than some people think.

If you wanted something less "jazzy" but still discreet to feed in, have you thought about a wraparound sling or soft carrier? As the baby is faced towards you anyway, no one can tell that you're feeding, just pull your cardi over whichever side you have your boob out. I feed everywhere personally and don't have an issue with it but I do prefer to keep it a bit more discreet in crowded places - I fed my baby inside the sling on the tube the other day. I do have smaller boobs than you but it's worth a try if you're conscious of your cover being too conspicuous.

I have never seen someone breastfeeding with a cover but all I would think if I did would be "it's great she's breastfeeding".

Funny, I saw someone using one of these yesterday and was going to start a thread. A muslin or scarf is one thing, but those enormous, patterned affairs just scream out I AM BREASTFEEDING and, for me, draw more attention than the act itself.

What I really don't understand is why drawing attention to breastfeeding in public is a bad thing? If someone looked at me using the cover (which you can buy in plain colours) and thought, oh she's breastfeeding, surely that's absolutely ok? Why the problem with people noticing what you're doing?

Exactly. Does it matter? You're not drawing attetion to doing something bad, surely none of us would argue that breastfeeding should be hidden away?

i use a muslim cloth too as they are big and very plain cream no ones noticed me the only people b4 i used one of these eva said anythin was the elderly no idea why it offened them so much as its the most natural thing and best for ur bubba if people look its their prob look else where if u dont feed ur baby because they moan that ur bfeeding they only moan as ur bubbas crying its a no win thing, but muslim clothes are the best i cant go no where without one and i brought a nice 10 pk from mothercare on special £9.00

I am also 'big' and was self-conscious about feeding in public because I didn't seem able to do it 'discreetly'. I used a bf cover for a while, only ever got positive comments about it from other mums and it gave me the confidence to be out and about and feed. After a while, confidence up I found I used it less and less, so it served its purpose iyswim. When I stopped using it, I found my maternity bump band was fab to wear under tops to cover my wobbly tum! hth

Wow mothercare are now selling muslim clothes? How enlightened.

If it helps you feed, then great. If it makes feeding more awkward than it need be, then stop.

I found it useful for Baby 1 and 2, but by No 3 I could practically jog around whilst knitting and feeding.

And, actually, it wasn't so much to cover up my boobs (everyone has seen them) but my mahoosive, stretch-marked wobbly belly.

I was a bit shy at first and used a cover. If people think your drawing attention to yourself wearing one when it makes you feel comfy sod them you should be proud your feeding your baby whats wrong with that nothing.. I still breastfeed my 20 month old instead of cows milk but she doesnt need it while out but I get people telling me to give up and I tell them I give up when she leaves homes they shut up then.

I've never seen anyone using one! I don't think I care either way really, if it helps you feed then so be it. I am feeding my baby who is 6 months old and still squirm a bit feeding in public but I can't be bothered with a cover and would probably forget to take it with me anyway. I know no-one can see anything when I feed but a part of me still cringes a little bit.

I've been using a Bebe Au Lait for a while now. At first I felt awkward, but now it has become second nature. However, I recently went to a children's party, and I had to bf, so I whipped out my butcher apron (as my friend lovingly calls it) and started to bf, one lady said why not go on upstairs and have more peace and quiet, think she was uncomfortable with it. I then asked everyone, if I was ok to carry on bf, I did get some strange looks. I said later to hubby that I was quite shocked as friends and family now don't bat an eyelid.

I asked fil once when I was bf next to him, he said honestly he would feel uncomfortable if I just whipped them out because I am his daughter in law, but I was doing the right think by covering up, but he did say he understood why people think they should just be able to bf and not cover up.

I must just add they are very good if you are nervous over bf in However, however when your lo gets to say 5-6 months and start to fidget, they are a pain as you have to battle with lo's trying to pull them off you.

i loved mine, for crowded places, airports etc they are a godsend. but not sure why they even get mentioned, so NOT a big deal

I think they draw attention in that 'What the hell is she wearing?/ Has she got a large (broken arm) sling on?/Is that a new look?/That top bit of her 'dress' doesn't go with the rest?' puzzled kind of a way.... then there's the penny dropping... 'Oh I seeeee she's breast feeding!' 'Oh shit I've just been staring at her for the last 2 minutes now she probably feels self conscious so I'll smile at her - oh now shit she probably thinks I'm being weird/patronising...' whereas if all you see is the baby feeding and maybe a glimpse of boob it's all over in a nano second :)

On the whole though - I think everyone should just do what works for them :)

EXCEPT maybe what a friend of mine (many years ago) used to do!! She didn't like feeding with her top on, so she's take it off and sit there in her bra (big girl - tall, solid, imposing) and if one of her DS's wanted both sides she'd just leave the first side exposed. Fine at home, fine at friends... much less fine in the middle of a shopping centre!!

reminds me of my mum telling me she'd answer the door in her bra feeding me!