what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

I'd be very impressed that you manage to use one of the damn things! Every time I have tried with DD I get us in a right old tangle, she tries to get out, look around and gets pissed off with me. I have now given up and just do the two tops thing. As I have giant boobies and DD is easily distracted I'm sure I have flashed a few people. I don't care anymore. I have no shame.

re: people asking how to use a pashmina/muslin -I just sort of draped one over my shoulder and over breast/baby's head.

When they were older the DC then tended to just hold the muslin themselves in such a way that they covered the breast -they sort of snuggled it to them whilst feeding IYSWIM, it was quite sweet really.

to knitty

If I see a woman breastfeeding I feel broody. I don't think I would think it was a "shame" she was covering up or anything like that.

You could just use a muslin - tuck one corner under your bra strap and drape the rest over baby (nice and light for them too).

Or wear a scarf a bit like this so that the dangly bits are long enough to cover you and it can't be kicked off?

I agree that bfing does limit one's wardrobe. I really miss wearing dresses.

I don't fit into many of my pre-preg clothes either, so have just built up a random selection of cheap clothes capsule wardrobe to see me through these few months (I think I'm one of those women that holds on to that last stubborn half stone while feeding in case there's a sudden famine, and it'll magically drop off when I stop - well, I bloody hope so!). I've bought a couple of nice, slim-fitting pairs of Gap jeans which I wear with floaty tops from Peacocks, Dorothy Perkins or New Look (nice and cheap y'see) which are easy to hoik up, and I wear a breastvest underneath (honestly, I should get commission, the number of times I've banged on about them on here). I've fed in front of a mirror and you cannot see a thing - even if DS pulls off (which he does quite a bit) I just quickly cover any boobage with my top - hence the floaty thing - until he's latched back on.

I used to be extremely modest - would get changed under a towel at the gym/pool etc - but for some reason I am completely comfortable bfing in public - proud even. I know not everyone feels that way, though, so if a nursing cover helps someone bf who wouldn't otherwise feel comfortable, it is a good thing. Several of my friends cited self-consciousness about bfing in public as one of their reasons for stopping, which seems a shame really. So go for it.

Actually reastie you make a good point out them freeing you to wear the clothes you want - the one thing that is getting me down about breastfeeding is that for the last 9 months every morning I have had to choose my clothes based on how accessible my boobs are

I'm looking forward to dropping ds's day time feeds, not because I feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public, but because I want to wear clothes and not have to consider if my boobs/tummy will be on display! Plus the layering thing can be uncomfortable on hot days.

See, scarves and similar elegant drapey items are wonderful in the early days, when all the baby wants to do is feed. But what do you do when your baby is a bloody nightmare wants to play whilst feeding? My DD thought it was hilarious to bob on and off, pull my top down exposing boobs in full (Discrete? Pah!) and draw attention to me at the same time by shouting, laughing etc. At least with a big apron thingy she couldn't pull it off easily and she got less distracted from the task in hand.

It doubled up quite well as a sunshade too, and looked a damn sight better than a crusty old muslin draped over the pram.

I use it when wearing a not breastfeeding friendly top or a dress to avoid flashing everyone my stomach rolls. Plus DD is now 6 months she finds things happening around her much more interesting than my boob so the cover allows her to focus on a given task.

This will sound a bit weird but you can also use baby's bib to keep covered if there is a bit too much showing for your own liking. If you swivel the bib so it is 'hip-hop' style (to the side like a baseball cap) then flap it up over the skin showing - it blocks the view and just looks like baby is cuddling and their bib is on wonky.

I found the two layer terry ones better to do that than the plastic backed food bibs - the larger the better!

reastie - I used to drape one end of the pashmina over the shoulder on the side I was feeding from, then spread the rest across my knees, or loosely tuck it under DD to stop it blowing off.

Admittedly I also did the 2 vests thing too. The pashmina was just used in very public places in case DD decided to pull off, to stop her getting distracted, or to protect us from the sun/wind.

I'm not sure how you'd BF in a dress. Have you thought about skirts instead? Then you could still wear 2 tops. Raid the charity shops if they're not something you're likely to wear forever.

blondepinhead great minds and all that

reastie I think you've been v sensible finding something you can bf comfortably in and still wear the dresses you look good in. I'd probably think if I saw you but then when I saw you were wearing a dress I'd go AHA that's why.

There's always these breastfeeding hats.... Although to be honest, anything that encourages more women to breastfeed has to be a good thing.

Bosom hats!

Gotta love em.

I had one of those bebe covers....I Loved it. I didnt use it to hide the fact I was breastfeeding, I used it because I was a new mum and not comfortable breastfeeding in front of certain people. What's the problem?

I think lots of things about lots of things. Sometimes I think more than one thing at once.

Breastfeeding covers? Nope. Mind's a blank. I genuinely wouldn't think anything. What's the pattern on it? I might have a feeling about that in a 'that would make nice wallpaper' or 'I could make a dress out of that' type way.

But the decision to use a bfing cover? Zip going on.

I used the two tops method but one of my friends would not breastfeed in public at all. She would go and sit in the toilet. to feed her little boy. She is married to a muslim (not a muslin ) and was very concerned with modesty. I'm not sure if she was aware of the breastfeeding cover, it might have let her feed him without having to do so in the toilet, which would have been great.

I'm a firm believer in using whatever a mum needs to allow her to feed comfortably and confidently wherever she is and if the cover does that, great. I can't recommend waterfall cardigans enough either. I used to take mine off and put it on the shoulder where DS' head was, there was then loads of fabric to wrap around him, especially when he started to get nosier and would decide that whatever was going on was more interesting than the boob. He was another who found it most amusing to pull my top down and put everything on display, if he could, the cardigan stopped this.

Have you thought about a poncho ?
I think you can get lighter weight ones for the summer.

I sat on a step at a wedding last year with a lady bfing her baby under one of the breastfeeding aprons while I was bfing my DD of 18 months without. We had a lovely chat and it didn't make any difference to me. I totally understand about not wanting to flash everyone if you're not confident, or wearing tricky clothes. I think many people wouldn't even know what it was, and would probably wonder what was going on!

I meant to add, the bebe au lait one I was given got pretty hot at times as the fabric is rather thick. So I got my mum to knock me up a replica out of a loose-weave linen/cotton mix which was much lighter & cooler. Unfortunately I am kack-handed with a sewing machine so couldn't do it myself, but apparently it was very easy to do. Cheap too.

Your norks, your choice. Whatever you feel comfortable doing.

I didn't use one, but if they help, then that's great.

My DC's were a nightmare to feed in public - screaming but not latching, fast let-down so choking and pulling off. My boobs were on show way more than most and it made me uncomfortable. I was fine about feeding in public, and confident about doing it, but at the same time hated the fact that people couldn't help but look because of the noise and faffing, and when they did, chances are they would see my boobs and nipples.

If using a hooter hider/scarf whatever would reduce that additional stress, then go for it. Wouldn't have worked for me because I needed two hands on the job and to be able to see what I was doing. Balancing a scarf sedately on my shoulder? Nope!

I bf for about 3 yrs between them, and it did get easier - but only after about the four month stage, so there were a LOT of feeds in public which didn't meet the 'stick them on and have a chat and a cake' criteria.

Reastie - do what make you feel better, not all bf experiences are the same

Y'know, I was going to correct my typo, but then I realised that 'kack' is actually far more apt for me, and doesn't insult left-handed people!

at the hat! DD would have that one off in seconds!

Reastie, please don't let the opinion of a few internet strangers (me included, sorry ) stop you from using it. If it makes you feel more comfortable to BF in public then that's all that matters.

All I meant, and I'm sure everyone else did too, is that we would think it a shame that women still feel they have to cover themselves up when BF. But that's not a judgment on the woman, it's society as a whole. I would still think good on you for breastfeeding! And to be honest, I think the more people seen BF out and about the better, so if it draws attention to it slightly it's probably a good thing!

Re wearing dresses, I went to a wedding when DD2 was 4 weeks old and wore a wrapover dress that I literally had to pull down with everything on show to get my boobs out! I just took a lightweight white pashmina with me and either draped it around my shoulders and the baby or had it round my neck so that DD2's head was still uncovered but the pashmina covered all of the boobage.

smallpotato - for me it was not about feeling I should cover up or people judging me for bf, I just didn't/don't feel comfortable with strangers/FIls etc seeing my boobs. Feeding or not. Just because you bf doesn't mean you are instantly comfortable with people seeing a part of your body that is usually private.