Common racist comments you hear in 2023?

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Compared to 30 years ago, how is racism different today?

For me, racism terms such as the n word p word are less used than they were 30 years ago. However, people have looked at other avenues. See comments below.

1. "You have a chip over your shoulder" every time someone mentions racism or their lived experience it goes straight to denial mode. You are blamed for your lived experiences and told to get over it and how UK is not racist.

2. "The UK abolished slavery. slavery was a long time ago." Every time someone tries to put forward a view of reparations of people who are still suffering from the effects of slavery they are shut down. "that was a long time ago we have changed and evolved."

3. "I feel like a foreigner in my own country." Which is probably one of the most stupid statements considering that over 80 percent of the population is white. I always answer if you feel like a foreigner how do minorities feel?

4. "name the racists" commonly said for Megan Markle that she should name the racists she claimed in the Royal family. But lets be honest if you did that the other person in whatever circumstance would just deny it and ultimately you will not be believed and be called someone who plays the race card and tarnishing other people's careers.

5. "Why do black people have their own spaces if white people had it we would be accused of racism" This is commonly said by the same people who are not as vocal when other groups have their own space e.g. women, LGBT groups etc.. It just seems like whenever black people have their own space people have to put them down. Take Ngozi Fulani the media made it seem she was the bad person people argued why her charity helps black people suffering from domestic abuse. Sad how she was forced out Sistah Space due to the abuse she faced but the media never mention that and the racism she had to face.

6. "Racism exists in all communities" this is another common one used and is a whataboutery technique. We have seen this with people like Kanye, KSI recently but what people forget there was a lot of criticism from the black community with their actions. So to suggest the black community or any other community does not do anything about racism is for the birds.

7. "My best friend is black" This is something you would hear from the EDL or Britain First. But you would be surprised how often you hear this by a lot of people. Just because your friend or relative is black, Muslim, Asian etc does not mean you cannot be racist. Even if you are a white mother and your child is mixed race does not mean you cannot be racist. It is baffling how a lot of people seem to forget this and think that my saying I cannot be racist because of this automatically means they cannot.

I commented on that thread. Tbf the author of the offending post did take on board what they were being advised, and did come back to apologise for using the outdated term. There was a massive difference in tone to the ignorant other poster who would not listen, and was sneering, dismissive, and doubling down. That type of person is just not worth spending any time on. It is so easy to see through those who mean no offense, and are willing to learn, and those that are racist, and are trying to hide the fact that they are.

Overt racism all over this thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4798760-to-think-this-isnt-ok-in-a-marriage?page=1

Apparently being in an abusive relationship that has elements of financial, verbal and emotional abuse is just like slavery and the OP is just like a slave. One poster even said it is “the epitome of slavery”.

The reality is it is nothing like slavery or being a slave. If it were then all the mistresses of slaves, were slaves too! This sort of minimising of slavery is a form of slavery denial. A slow watering down so it doesn’t seem that bad. It’s racist and you can see the white hoods in the reactions from those defending it.

Id say hurry before MNHQ deletes the posts as I’ve reported them, but

Reminds me of this blog post.
“In contemporary society, slavery metaphors exist in debates from the coronavirus lockdown to legislation on abortion and LGBTQ rights.”

“Lorde and hooks were relentless advocates of recognising the racism that existed within feminism. Lorde argued that white feminists, by denying racism, were only bolstering the old patriarchal systems of the male white slave masters. White feminists using slave metaphors often tend to ignore this important lesson.”

”To thus reduce the gruesome period of slavery into simple metaphors today does disservice to the pain and suffering of a community that is still fighting discrimination globally.”
https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/medialse/2020/10/01/how-white-feminists-and-elites-appropriated-slavery-and-still-do/

It's often perplexed me how the Quakers (I am one) have used the term "Overseers and Elders" for Pastoral and Spiritual support. Thankfully that term has been retired now but sometimes I still have to explain how offensive it is, in my meeting when people complain about the fact that it was retired (Not often any more, to be fair)

Finally the corporate body are grappling with the issues of ownership (of slaves) and reparations. It's been a slow start but things are gathering speed.

That’s really fascinating on the Quakers. I did find this article that says they got it from a part of the Bible where the Greek translates into bishop or overseer and so the Quaker overseer title had same source as other churches bishop title.
https://www.quaker.org.uk/news-and-events/news/quakers-to-cease-using-the-title-overseer-thanks-to-racist-connotations

But as it’s the same word for slave driver, I agree it should have been stopped ages ago.

"This country is better than most places when it comes to racism. We are a tolerant country." great to be tolerated.

Right, especially in a nation where the media is mostly right-wing and can’t admit that racism is more than just racial slurs. The BAME term has only stopped being used here in government in April of this year.

Christ, just look at tonight's thread about the transatlantic slave trade and you'll see plenty of the usual comments. Africa had slaves too, what about the Romans, but but the Ottomans etc etc ad nauseum 🙄

I was thinking about that thread 😁

I did not see that thread, but would have likely ignored it anyway. I have learnt to not bother with certain threads. Like the one on Adjoa Andoh for example. I have to think about my blood pressure.

"playing the race card"

Infuriating and reductive.

I cannot believe there are people STILL referring to a takeaway from a mandarin restaurant as a 'Chinese' its objectifying and vile

I've actually found that as a forum MN gives me a good indication of where we are as a society and wider country in our talking and understanding of race and racism. I don't talk to white people about racism anymore so this forum sort of acts as my barometer. A lot of the people on this forum would never consider themselves racist yet we have thread after thread full of micro-aggressions, historical revisionism, intentional misrepresentation and so forth and so forth. Suffice to say we're in a different place than the past but I can't say it's a better place.

My husbands friend was just telling him how white women are just sticks and black women have womanly figures...some of my black friends openly calling black people 'queens and kings' etc...where do I even start

A lot of the people on this forum would never consider themselves racist yet we have thread after thread full of micro-aggressions,

Yes this! How many times have I seen someone write "where is the racism here, I don't see it", and "Well I won't say anything anymore, people are always looking for offence, where there is none". I could go on forever!

Have to agree. I noticed this quite quickly (at least in England) when I moved here years ago. My parents asked me what the difference was to the States and I said the covertness is off-putting and many thinking they are so superior to the States because they don’t have guns, and the States are a weird barometer of how racist they are, and by doing so, choosing to believe there’s not a problem because they’re seemingly not as bad/better when in reality, there’s this massive denial or refusal to understand the covert side while in the States most are aware and acknowledge both covert and overt racism and people are more likely to call out both.

I rarely ever dealt with overt racism in the States, never been called the N word and microagressions minimal but in England, I’ve experienced more covert racism in the decade I’ve been here than I ever did growing up in the States especially when it comes to my health and during my pregnancies.

What’s wrong with a black person calling themselves (and presumably their own friends or family) king/queen? Where our family in America are, that’s a common word used by African-American people. Obviously if somebody doesn’t want to be called that word then they shouldn’t be, but what is wrong with a person wanting to use that word about themselves if it’s commonly used in their dialect?

I’m proud of my roots so love talking about it when people ask. All ethnicities ask me, its not racist imho.
Guess what, I ask people too. Ooops!

-Playing the Race Card
-What about the Irish/Jewish/Romany
-how comes asians do well and you people don’t
-Slavery was ages ago
-You have to accept everyone/everything because you’re a minority too
-You’re very light for…
-You’re too dark to be…
-But you all say the N word (really?!)
-“Blacks”
-But what about Rappers…
-Have you ever straightened your hair? Have you thought of straightening your hair?

Obviously if it is offensive in some way I accept that, but I think it’s a bit patronising to tell black people they shouldn’t use a word about their own self if it’s commonly used in the place where they’re from/amongst their own group of friends or whatever.

Black women have womanly figures. Ha ha another bullshit stereotype.
Black women are all the same.
Black women have died trying to live up to stupid body stereotypes.

Have you ever straightened your hair? Have you thought of straightening your hair?

A dance mum asked if I’d be getting DD hair straightened for a solo performance 😕 I have no clue why, she always has neat and appropriate hairstyles for all performances, so I’m hardly likely to send her with ratty or messy hair. I’d like to think it was just a conversation starter, but she didn’t ask if anyone else was having their child’s hair permed!

Imagine a white person referring to themselves as 'white queen' ...just reverse it.If it racist the other way around then its racist the way it is

It sounds like you need to not be around so many ignorant people. What do you say when they ask these questions?

Oh, okay! Sorry, I thought I was confused and the word was possibly being seen as offensive due to colonial connotations, but upon rereading I’m seeing it as more you’re an ‘all lives matter’ type of person.

How is it racist if a black, or white person wants to refer to themselves in this way? I am not sure I understand what the problem is.