Common racist comments you hear in 2023?

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Compared to 30 years ago, how is racism different today?

For me, racism terms such as the n word p word are less used than they were 30 years ago. However, people have looked at other avenues. See comments below.

1. "You have a chip over your shoulder" every time someone mentions racism or their lived experience it goes straight to denial mode. You are blamed for your lived experiences and told to get over it and how UK is not racist.

2. "The UK abolished slavery. slavery was a long time ago." Every time someone tries to put forward a view of reparations of people who are still suffering from the effects of slavery they are shut down. "that was a long time ago we have changed and evolved."

3. "I feel like a foreigner in my own country." Which is probably one of the most stupid statements considering that over 80 percent of the population is white. I always answer if you feel like a foreigner how do minorities feel?

4. "name the racists" commonly said for Megan Markle that she should name the racists she claimed in the Royal family. But lets be honest if you did that the other person in whatever circumstance would just deny it and ultimately you will not be believed and be called someone who plays the race card and tarnishing other people's careers.

5. "Why do black people have their own spaces if white people had it we would be accused of racism" This is commonly said by the same people who are not as vocal when other groups have their own space e.g. women, LGBT groups etc.. It just seems like whenever black people have their own space people have to put them down. Take Ngozi Fulani the media made it seem she was the bad person people argued why her charity helps black people suffering from domestic abuse. Sad how she was forced out Sistah Space due to the abuse she faced but the media never mention that and the racism she had to face.

6. "Racism exists in all communities" this is another common one used and is a whataboutery technique. We have seen this with people like Kanye, KSI recently but what people forget there was a lot of criticism from the black community with their actions. So to suggest the black community or any other community does not do anything about racism is for the birds.

7. "My best friend is black" This is something you would hear from the EDL or Britain First. But you would be surprised how often you hear this by a lot of people. Just because your friend or relative is black, Muslim, Asian etc does not mean you cannot be racist. Even if you are a white mother and your child is mixed race does not mean you cannot be racist. It is baffling how a lot of people seem to forget this and think that my saying I cannot be racist because of this automatically means they cannot.

I'm guess this is TAAT but good god, there's a thread on BMN that has my eyebrows hitting the roof. Completely validates what OP says here.

Hi, I’m hoping this is ok to post
if it’s not please tell me and I’ll ask for it to be removed

im a white women in a big organisation who has responsibility for overseeing our EDI strategy (and yes I do get the irony of this, but my black and Asian colleagues have told me their reasons for not wanting the job)
My “deputy” is black, and I am fighting a battle for people to not automatically go to her for advice/guidance on issues to do with race

I suppose I’m asking how to say “come to me, not her” in a way that doesn’t come across as me sidelining her/removing her agency and doesn’t assume a “power hierarchy”?
it’s literally because I know it costs her a lot of emotional effort to constantly engage with these talks at work, and it’s draining. She has said she will have to step back from the brilliant work she does if it continues, and that would be a real shame because she’s brilliant.

any advice would be massively appreciated

I would start a new thread on this, and as this is for black mumsnetters I think this belongs in another section @Littlepinkstarsbyradish perhaps work related?

@Littlepinkstarsbyradish This is a thread for black women to discuss racism they experience, and this board as a whole isn’t for white people to drop in as an “ask a black person” type thing.

Create a new thread on a different board asking for advice, as pp said.

Thank you, I will do exactly that

Are you giving this as an example, not stating it yourself? As you don't give context. I'm presuming the former?

You're so right. And out in society. I delivered a training session on micro aggressions at work as I'd heard some racist comments being made. It horrifies me.

@Whattodoaboutpox

i was just about to mention about the hair thing but you beat me to it,
the touching of your hair by a white woman

I really wish white women would stop touching - groping our hair

it's like a fetishism and very othering

it's really weird thing to do

Often in our western culture beauty ideals are so narrow minded and is very often racial slanted ,

How do other women deal with this?

The racism is running unchecked on a certain board again. Who knew so many posters have such innocent conversations about what colour their friends' children might be?

Yes @PinotGroggio its dire and the thread shouldn't have been allowed to run... I've seen ugly ugly things written about mixed race people on that thread, people actually blaming Meghan for the racism she endured because she was the one who 'made it about her race'... someone else that her beauty and being lighter cancelled out anything negative she would experience because of being black... she's a liar so she's lied about racism ( the King and former Queen can lie about giving public money to charity but thats totally ok because they do good things )

The gist of the 'global news story' seems to be that people should be able to dehumanise mixed race babies because they are a curiosity and exotic so its exciting to see what tone they'll be and have a giggle with your white friends and family about it. everyone does it and most decent black people don't mind and just join in. It's not racist at all, all the white people said so, and they of course all have mixed race kids or friends of their own they did that to and everyone was happy, The End.

MNHQ won't do anything so I would not bother adding to their site and content that raises revenue until they do. But you may feel obliged to raise the issues with their advertisers.

Oh god, the Nihal Arthanayake thread too. WTAF? Mumsnet really is just a haven for thick racists these days.

Yes I havr seen that, its disgusting the blatant racism.

That thread is INSANE. sadly, I have heard these sort of comments in real life. And fallen out with people as a result too.

So yet again posters have falsely said Doria has been to prison and MNHQ won't delete it, instead they expect us to actually argue this with the racists who repeat it. Its so disgusting. Why would I want to engage with racists? agian and again?

I agree with whoever said that they experience the most racism in the corporate world - when I came out of full time corporate I was amazed at how much I had suppressed and how much I couldn’t be my authentic self in that place. Sometimes, mainly white, colleagues would get away with very childish behaviour like brining this weird pet into work and getting everyone excited, being so rubbish at their job but having a director vouch for them and staying on - but I witnessed a Muslim person not passing probation - they were good at their job for the small amount of time they were there - their crime was probably not joining in for drinks.

I experience less racism when I am freelancing for instance. people take me at face value.

more scenarios …

MUSIC
We were at a cafe for a work meeting and the cafe was playing good tunes - clearly to my standard only - I’m talking neo-soul, a little jazz - there was some hip hop - the playlist was pretty much black artist except the odd Post Malone etc - but the music wasn’t “offensive” (although I’m black, it may be the mum in me, but there are obviously certain playlists for the club vs a cafe). At the end of the meeting the CEO said “My ears! I cannot believe that people still listen to hip hop music in this day and age. Absolutely awful. I need to go home and listen to [insert genre]”

PATRONISED
Has anyone else been patronised? I was at a board meeting and we were talking about a project and research. I used the word “Quantitative” in my sentence and a middle aged white lady said “oh wow that’s a big word!”

Ummm no it’s not - you learn this word in Secondary school or something - it’s in most peoples vocabulary.

BEING WELL EDUCATED
”You are very well spoken” - black people and other races might tell me that I have a good radio voice or something but white people seem to be amazed that I sound “educated”. I was once asked by a white man about my educational background because I “spoke very well”.

White Woman at work this week, going on to me about Israel vs Palestine and how badly Jewish people have had it (hey, Black Woman in close proximity so lets play Oppression Olympics) when I'd not instigated any conversation at all; then, a propos of nothing:

"Well I know the British Empire did some bad stuff donkeys years ago with slavery but there were some good things, I mean we got railways for instance.."

Her voice trailed off when she realised I wasn't even looking at her. I cant be bothered to dialogue with stupid mediocres. I can't & don't want to fathom what she even meant. She's a manager so that says it all. I idly wonder if its people who have no voice or outlet at home and lead narrow lives, so they attention seek via coming to work and chatting utter shit.

I'm self-employed so this is short-term consultancy. I mostly work from home. Thank God. I read somewhere that WFH is the best thing that happened to Black Women in the world of work. It's true. Ears assault microaggressions minimised

I mean… I would say I’m shocked but honestly nothing really surprises me at this point. Supremely grateful I am able to WFH and only have to go into my office once a month.

I had to go in a couple of weeks ago and sit through an enforced team lunch and listen to one colleague saying she was ‘bewildered’ the Black community wasn’t doing more to support Jewish people after the Oct 7th attacks. I attempted to point out the Black community is not a monolithic group but then couldn’t be bothered to continue. I knew I’d be framed as the aggressor in the argument. She tried to corner me afterwards to ‘clarify’ her comments and then became upset when I cut the conversation short because frankly I didn’t want to engage with her.

In the past I had the privilege of studying and living with Jewish people of various skin colours. They knew they were treated differently in society due to what they looked like.

It's a shame that some people don't know who makes up their own "community" and yeah these people are worth ignoring.

I really do wonder when @MNHQ is going to do something about the massive amount of racism on this site? I mean, the so-called Royal Family forum is now just several threads devoted to attacking a woman of colour, and when you report all they say is that they’re keeping “a close eye” on the thread. I’ve even seen a tv thread about how awful some actress, who just happens to be a WoC, is in a recent hit show, there were the endless tennis threads tearing Serena Williams apart, Diane Abbott etc etc. HQ may be keeping a close eye but clearly it’s not good enough. And yes, I do report but the generic response of “let us know if there’s anything else you’re concerned about” is pathetic, quite frankly. Why are the racists never banned?

Hello - there have been such egregious cases of anti black thought and white supremacy throughout the RF where you know I like to hang out. I’m appalled because I have highlighted to MN several issues - how the phrase “playing the race card”
is racist and actually explaining why, why stating that a whole country - shall we say Jamaica - should not be expected to have the same amount of poshness as western ones- is more than a little problematic, and others. There was a particularly awful period last year where it was more than apparent that anti black racism was just not perceived at all by these posters when many of us just left them to it because it really got bad.

I’ve seen those threads @skullbabe and the disingenuousness displayed by those posters is preposterous. Comment after comment attacking a woman they’ve never even met - her looks, her character, even her fucking feet. But oh no, it’s just to highlight the importance of taking care of your feet! I seriously cannot believe @MNHQ don’t ban those posters. Instead, those of us calling it out are the ones who get “warned” about minding our manners etc

And that is precisely why I don't even go on threads that will be about MM anymore. I am sick of it all. Even the other day the discussion about the Bob Marley film on the main board had some ignorant comments going on. I save my comments for this board, where people will know what I am talking about, and have an appreciation for what is being discussed. I am not trying to make racists, see that they are racist anymore, it is not worth the stress to myself. And they just carry on same way, so sod that!

To be honest if MN were to ban all the racist on here, they would be left with few members, that is how much of a Societal problem that racism actually is. But absolutely, the outrageous obvious racist ones should be banned, no question. The fact that even the mods are sometimes seemingly oblivious to these posts, even when people have reported, and explained the issue, and they still are left to stand, speaks volumes.

@LadyKenya

Ah you beat me to it,

I was thinking 🤔 the very same thing too,

there is clearly no black women moderaters on here with mumsnet at all,

Which is frankly ridiculous as mumsnet is susposed to reflect our society ect

@cerisepanther73 I would not be surprised if that was the case, regarding black moderators, sadly.