Common racist comments you hear in 2023?

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Compared to 30 years ago, how is racism different today?

For me, racism terms such as the n word p word are less used than they were 30 years ago. However, people have looked at other avenues. See comments below.

1. "You have a chip over your shoulder" every time someone mentions racism or their lived experience it goes straight to denial mode. You are blamed for your lived experiences and told to get over it and how UK is not racist.

2. "The UK abolished slavery. slavery was a long time ago." Every time someone tries to put forward a view of reparations of people who are still suffering from the effects of slavery they are shut down. "that was a long time ago we have changed and evolved."

3. "I feel like a foreigner in my own country." Which is probably one of the most stupid statements considering that over 80 percent of the population is white. I always answer if you feel like a foreigner how do minorities feel?

4. "name the racists" commonly said for Megan Markle that she should name the racists she claimed in the Royal family. But lets be honest if you did that the other person in whatever circumstance would just deny it and ultimately you will not be believed and be called someone who plays the race card and tarnishing other people's careers.

5. "Why do black people have their own spaces if white people had it we would be accused of racism" This is commonly said by the same people who are not as vocal when other groups have their own space e.g. women, LGBT groups etc.. It just seems like whenever black people have their own space people have to put them down. Take Ngozi Fulani the media made it seem she was the bad person people argued why her charity helps black people suffering from domestic abuse. Sad how she was forced out Sistah Space due to the abuse she faced but the media never mention that and the racism she had to face.

6. "Racism exists in all communities" this is another common one used and is a whataboutery technique. We have seen this with people like Kanye, KSI recently but what people forget there was a lot of criticism from the black community with their actions. So to suggest the black community or any other community does not do anything about racism is for the birds.

7. "My best friend is black" This is something you would hear from the EDL or Britain First. But you would be surprised how often you hear this by a lot of people. Just because your friend or relative is black, Muslim, Asian etc does not mean you cannot be racist. Even if you are a white mother and your child is mixed race does not mean you cannot be racist. It is baffling how a lot of people seem to forget this and think that my saying I cannot be racist because of this automatically means they cannot.

@PinotGroggio yes. It’s typical that their way of dealing with the horrible position she was in is being scrutinised, but the way the royal family behaves is not. She’s in the whitest institution in the country, including staff, with a bullying press using racist headlines, social media and its sickening level of hate, and someone in the family decides to discuss skin colour, titles and removing security? But apparently their reaction is the problem? It’s always been this way. Same with women dealing with sexual harassment or sex crimes, the scrutiny is always over how the victim deals with it. Always.

Reminds me of my Mum having to deal with a racist woman at work, the woman cried of course but mum was simply like, I ain’t responding to your tears, and somehow she’s the mean one.

Oh yes, white women's tears is a well-known phenomenon. Though I'd better stop there or this thread will be in added by posters accusing me of racism!

*invaded

It’s just so common!

All over that board today is ‘ I can’t say anything now for fear of being called racist’

I saw that. It's horrible. Just talk decently then is what I say.

Just popping in, hi all, interesting discussion. I'm a white woman with different cultures in my family (Nigerian, British Pakistani etc) and I always want to learn

@Roussette hey! Lovely to see you here, thank goodness for you over there. Whenever I’m getting hounded you are a great support including your messages to make sure I’m ok when racism rears its head ( daily! )

Awww no problem @Whaeanui I just hate to see it, I honestly do. You are calm and measured but that doesn't stop the usual suspects. I can't work out if they are ignorant or deliberately goading sometimes.

Ime, it doesn’t even have to be white women’s tears, it can be any women who isn’t black. We’re automatically the aggressor even if it can’t be pinpointed what we did “wrong”.

Another one is the mispronunciation of names. Giving up because it is just too hard... Tchaikovsky Check but Dr shola Mos-Shogbamimu too hard, even though it really easy to breakdown and sound out... Sigh

Acting like "Karen" is the worst insult in the world but that may be solely a MN thing. Just look at the thread that was posters defending the so-called Central Park Karen. They cared more about her being dubbed that than her racism! But then again Mumsnet's feminism boards have never really been too bothered about racists.

I can’t stand that either! I tried once to explain its roots as being coined by Black Americans for entitled white women being racist and MN was having none of it. No, no, it’s all misogyny and ageism as the stereotype is a middle aged white woman with a blonde bob haircut and so has nothing to do with their covert racism, because that’s not the real issue, calling these poor women Karen is the real issue. Some days I want to just give up.

But then I think objecting to being called out for being a Karen a Karen thing to do, so what was I expecting? Seriously?!

It's crazy that this still happens in 2023, but it does! Dr Shola was on a programme recently where the prime time presenter made a point of ridiculing her name, and attempts to say it. It's a "micro-aggression" designed to belittle the affected party.

Dr Shola stood her ground and made the presenter break it down and repeat it until she got it right. I wish I could find the video, the presenter should be embarrassed for herself.

Personally, I started a new job a few months ago, and one of the people who reports into me has a real issue with even attempting to pronounce my name properly. This week, I took him aside to repeat my name again, ask him to learn the 3 syllables, and it's state it's really not that hard.

I'll see what happens next week, but I'm quite happy to take him to task again, as it's unacceptable to either call someone nothing, nod in their direction meaning "them" or mumble a butchered version of their name under your breath. I've had all 3 this week, and i must admit it does bother me.

I have had the name thing for most of my life. Admittedly it is not a common name at all, but it is not hard to pronounce either. I just correct people now, when I was younger I would let it slide a lot of the time. Just keep correcting people when they mispronounce your name, they will soon get the message.

I saw the clip and remembered seeing it happen before. Sure part of your job as a presenter/journalist is to research your guest, especially when it is someone as well know as Shola. She has been on so many programmes. Its a symptom of a colonial mindset in my opinion. I always may an effort try to pronounce names and I always ask if I have pronounced that correctly. This Kate Garraway not Dawn. The second is Dawn. I remember see the Kate one at the time.

Shola Mos-Shogbamimu praised for making Dawn Neeson pronounce her name correctly on live TV | The Independent

But this the most recent one

Mail Online Videos: Top News & Viral Videos, Clips & Footage | Daily Mail Online

On a side note why is all black hair considered an afro? DD has just come in from her part time job and one of the parents from her primary came and told DD that I had fantastic afro and gestures with her hand like a huge 70'fro shape. It has very little height due the length and weight.

That would really wind me up, I would struggle to be the bigger person here. How hard can three syllables be?

Indeed @Socrateswasrightaboutvoting.

As I have a non-English name, I got this when I was at school (and used to dread new/supply teachers coming in!), but not since being in the workplace from 2002; I usually introduce myself, pronounce my name a couple of times and everyone is fine with it.

I started this new job this year, I'm very senior at work (Director/C-Suite), and this guy reports into me. He is from a different minority, which is generally stereotyped as being extremely clever and hardworking.

I will take a harder line from now on, and repeat my name each and every time he gets it wrong, or tries to avoid saying it; it really is odd behaviour.

Sure part of your job as a presenter/journalist is to research your guest, especially when it is someone as well know as Shola. She has been on so many programmes. It’s a symptom of a colonial mindset in my opinion.

I agree. It’s unprofessional for sure. It’s also just another way to assert your superiority and ‘other’ someone, ‘ you don’t fit in, you’re difficult to accommodate’. In NZ it deterred some from using Maori names for their children. My Mum gave us all Maori names but mine is commonly used so not so bad. One of my siblings has a far less common name, but it isn’t difficult at all and quite short. The amount of people that struggled with a simple easy name and would laugh it off instead of stopping to learn it properly before moving on. My great grandfather was called an English name instead of his actual Maori name often and annoyingly in the history books about the area we are from, they use his English one first. I hate it!

@Starseeking I would be bothered if I were you with a colleague like that. Im sorry, that must be awful.

Thanks @Whaeanui.

I have a dear Māori friend living in NZ whose name has a "wh" in the middle so it gets mispronounced all the time.

It's interesting about the superiority of it; I am in every sense of the word my colleagues line manager, so it is very clear who is the more senior. Perhaps he doubts me psychologically 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️

Can I please ask something. I realise that I say I’ve got a black sense of humour. Which I have always taken to mean that I sometimes am amused by something not funny to lots of people. Like my dad stumbling at my mums grave. We (my siblings and ) could all imagine her saying “John. Will you WATCH where you’re going’.
someone after the funeral asked how it went and I said we laughed and she was horrified and so I said well we do alway have a black sense of humor in our family. And she looked even more horrified

because when I think about it I think it could be considers offensive and I certainly wouldn’t want to be.

People from Liverpool say it I think, I know I've heard it in a Liverpool accent. Queen that is, not referencing colour. I'm not sure if it is a thing husbands say about their wife or a general term of endearment to women.

You don't need to ask anyone, you just need to think about what you are saying.

Whether you are associating the work black with something positive or negative.

The same can be applied to many many everyday phrases:

Black mood
Black heart
Black list
Black market
Black eye
Black magic
Black dog
Etc etc

Have a read of this, if you care to:
www.verywellmind.com/the-color-psychology-of-black-2795814

Has anyone seen the thread about "all hell breaking loose" in a nail salon? The majority of replies on that thread typify most MNetters' attitudes towards race and racism.

I haven’t I will check it out later. It’s so exhausting sometimes and the normalisation of it here and elsewhere is just 🤮