Black men protesting BLM but exclusively dating white women

[LillyFlower1984]

I’m always confused about black men or men of colour in the media and RL who shout racism/BLM and so on yet when you look at their lifestyle they are married to white women. When you go on to find out more they only ever have dated/married white women.... what are people’s take on this?

They are hypocrites. My own male relatives date White Women yet if I were to ever date a White man they'd be in uproar.

Most Black Men who date White are like that. Mandingo Syndrome. Often to be found (behind their White Woman's back) seeking out and craving the ear and attention and often more,of a Black woman.

They want a foot in both camps and when we as Black Women say 'Nah, no thanks' we get the rude, bitchy, jealous (of White Women), aggressive blah blah labels, because we won't give them what they want which is sexual variety on tap.

I recall back in the day being sent to Coventry by Black men at work, as they thought I was dating a White male colleague. They all had White partners.

The "Black Lives Matter but oh wait I won't date Black tho" thing ties in with it all. That type is probably screaming BLM as they're indignant about not being able to sit at Massa's table and have all that he has too.

They'd throw us under the bus in a nanosecond so I make sure I don't align with them.

My take on this is that it does not matter to me who they are married to. They are black or a person of colour, who is not immune from the effects or acts of racism against them. They have every right to "shout" about it if they wish to.

I find the opening post quite offensive. We can all be attracted to whichever adult we like.

I don't understand ?

@Satsumatrifle why is it offensive of course I’m aware of that but what I don’t understand is why often the men talking the loudest and in the media exclusively date white women... of course they are not immune to racism but why complain about something so loudly that you actually contribute to probably subconsciously.

@DeeCeeCherry thank you for illustrating my point so well.

[quote LillyFlower1984]@Satsumatrifle why is it offensive of course I’m aware of that but what I don’t understand is why often the men talking the loudest and in the media exclusively date white women... of course they are not immune to racism but why complain about something so loudly that you actually contribute to probably subconsciously.[/quote]
How is dating/marrying a white woman contributing to racism?

why complain about something so loudly that you actually contribute to probably subconsciously.

I find it coercive that you are accusing people of contributing to racism based on who they date, and are suggesting people should only be able to speak out against recism if they meet your rather racist criteria.

racism

I find the opening post quite offensive. We can all be attracted to whichever adult we like

Yes of course we can. But are you not aware that it's different for Black Women, there are even specific names for us should we dare to "stray?"

Are you not aware of the hypocrisy of being Black, banging on about Black lives but yet never dating Black; what is such a person telling the world about the "likeability" for want of a better word, in terms of Black people?

If you're not aware - How so?

Regarding the post I don't care who they date, they'd not be my type and I'd not be theirs so, what odds?

I would not, however, pretend to be unaware of the issues surrounding that type. Particularly as they have a lot to say (albeit not always publicly) about Black women who date non-Black men

Or may as well be an "I don't see colour" type which is another form of ridiculousness

Lilyflower You are welcome.

You do know however that there won't be a proper discussion of such an issue? Because it will trigger non-Black women into centring themselves, and also pretending there isn't an issue at all; indeed, that YOU are the issue merely for asking.

However we know the true score.

Interesting post.

So I am white and my husband is black and we have 2 children. Are you saying that because he is married to me (a white woman) he cannot support BLM? Why??

Yomommasmomma, are you seeing what you want to see.? Thats not what op is saying. What i am getting is that thir are som black men who exclusively date white women or who avoid dating black women, this is then racism and how can you then say black lives matter whne oneself is treating fellow blacks differently.

So since my husband has previously dated (lots!!) of black women before marrying me, he is allowed to support BLM, but if he had only ever dated me and perhaps one or 2 other white women, he would not be allowed to?

I don't understand what is so wrong with dating outside of your race, obviously I am biased, but what is some people's issue with it?

I don’t understand the OP’s stance on this at all and some of the other posts too. So a black man or man of colour is not able to support the BLM movement if he is attracted to and dates/lives with/marries a woman who is white? This view is offensive and racist IMO. It is extremely narrow minded.

All black men and men of colour are highly likely to have experienced racism of some kind, I think we can all agree on that. But if they dare to date or marry a white woman your train of thought is that they cannot stand up against racism? That is such flawed ‘logic’ I really can’t believe what I’m reading.

I suppose because I am of dual heritage - black Caribbean and white, my views aren’t valid either and I can’t support the BLM movement?

I don,t think it,s about dating outside ones race, but it is about percieving different races in different lights.

If you are treated badly by family/other black people for dating white men, that's a big problem that needs more awareness. I can't help feeling if it was the other way round, and white people had specific, derogatory names for women dating black men (there may be, and I am just not aware) or made them move jobs etc, to prevent potential relationships, there would be justifiable uproar.

Surely as an adult, you are afforded the privilege of making your own decisions on your life and relationships. If you are not, this is abusive and controlling behaviour. If it is only aimed at women within that family and community, it is misogynistic, sexist bullshit, too.
In the whole BLM movement, I have never heard anyone bring this up as a topic to be addressed, why not??
Being white, its quite difficult for me to negotiate within race and culture issues, without feeling like I'm butting in or not getting it right. But as a woman, this is an issue I could, and would put 100% into supporting.

I know that wasn't the point of this thread, but it upset me that women are being treated this way and it isn't being shouted about. Sorry.

It's surprising that men who truly believe in uplifting the Black race and in Black love would deliberately go out of their way in their personal lives to seek the complete opposite.

People say love is blind, they can love who they love, and they can't help who they fall for, however if they were completely aligned with supporting the growth of the Black family, Black men would consciously seek out Black women to build with.

With Western society set up the way it is, and white women viewed as the pinnacle of female beauty (and if she's blonde more kudos), and Black women at the bottom, it's not surprising that a large proportion of Black men find white women the most attractive.

Supporting BLM makes sense for a Black man on an individual basis, because clearly he wants equality for himself. Whether he also wants that for Black women, given that white women are his preference, is debatable.

So again because my husband is married to me a white women, he doesn't want equality for his sister, cousins and nieces?? Such one dimensional thinking here

If he only ever dating white women and specifically avoided dating black women it may be a concern.

Starseeking - Just because a black man dates white women how does that even correlate to him not wanting equality for black women? Surely it is quite simple, he is attracted to some white women. Why is that such a problem? He can still strongly believe in equal rights for all black people including black women. It is not either / or.

The issue here surely is the double standards and that black women should be able to date white men with no issues. You can not surely be suggesting that black men shouldn't be attracted to white women and if they are they can't support Black Lives Matter? Their children will be black, they are black - they have as much right as anyone to support the movement.

@june2007 why is that a concern? We have the right to be attracted to whomever we like. No one has to date anyone of any race or sexual orientation to prove themselves worthy. It's personal choice

If you are treated badly by family/other black people for dating white men, that's a big problem that needs more awareness

It is not male family, specifically. It's random men who feel by virtue of being Black, they can say what they please about Black women, even randomly approach Black women and spout unpleasant views.

It is that dating a White man is often made the equivalent of the walk of shame for Black Women. & Often the perpetrators are Black men who date and marry White women. & They'll let you know it, even approaching to start trouble.

That form of Misogynoir is everywhere. Music, social media etc. They talk BLM and anti-Black Woman in the same breath. They are a scourge.

I find myself surprised that this isn't seen/heard. It's not exactly hidden.

Being white, its quite difficult for me to negotiate within race and culture issues, without feeling like I'm butting in or not getting it right. But as a woman, this is an issue I could, and would put 100% into supporting

Simply this. It's about being a woman. & about men who have the audacity to butt into your choices simply due to your gender. The sense of entitlement is huge.

The elephant in the room is that when it's Black women, such men have widespread support in terms of their behaviour .

I have as little as possible to do with anyone like that. & am persona non-grata it seems as DP is lightskinned (not bi-racial but people tend to think he is) which apparently makes me a 'Mulatto Lover'.

That lovely remark was made to me by a (barely known) work colleague who did a little laugh as he said it, haha...

Yet his partner is White. & she's ok actually. But he is not. & Also doesn't have his job anymore.

Black women experience Black men disparaging them, looking down on them, and belittling them every day. A lot of these same Black men support BLM FOR THEMSELVES.

I'm not here to debate lived experience, or to educate white women on the above. Black women know all about this.

I thank my lucky stars I have a (Black) DH who believes in the Black family and Black love despite his other faults lol