Black men protesting BLM but exclusively dating white women

[LillyFlower1984]

I’m always confused about black men or men of colour in the media and RL who shout racism/BLM and so on yet when you look at their lifestyle they are married to white women. When you go on to find out more they only ever have dated/married white women.... what are people’s take on this?

Bingo Greenbk

So many points, I see you snuck in WOC in there too. That must be 500 points. Racist too.

I think it's you who are convoluting issues. It does matter because it harms black women specifically. You know black, as in the ones this space is meant to serve. These are issues in the black community that have real consequences. It is why issues pertaining to black women take so long to resolve or bring attention to because there is neither support from women of other races nor Men of our own race.

But feel free to invade the conversation and make it about your feelings.

men will always find a way to pit women against each other.

Women do not need anyone to find a way to pit them against each other. They do it all on their own.

more Black women of a similar age are either single parents or never married

If this is the case, I really don't see why it's the fault of black men. They're not obliged to marry anyone of any colour.

You are choosing to misunderstand so you can get enraged when the conversation itself has nothing to do with non-black women byt the unequal share and load of activism surrounding BLM, but of course shout it down with accusations of racism and tell us how much your feelings are hurt.

@Satsumatrifle

more Black women of a similar age are either single parents or never married

If this is the case, I really don't see why it's the fault of black men. They're not obliged to marry anyone of any colour.

They are not.

Here's a little conundrum for you:

If Black men in the UK predominantly seek white women as partners and Black women predominantly seek Black men as partners, there's a gap in there somewhere.

Sexual preference ≠ prejudice.

@Greenbks
Please don’t come onto my thread and tell me I’m convoluting things. I don’t care who or what you are I’m discussing an issue of importance to me.

Once again this thread is not specifically about non-black women or white women or any other person with hurt feelings. I’m discussing issues that affect black peoples, predominantly black females.

So as I’ve categorically stated I have no problem with who a person dates- there were many mixed couples supporting BLM. What I’m curious about is the men

sorry posted early... the men (and women) who exclusively date out of their race whilst proclaiming Afrocentric viewpoints like BLM.

@Greenbks

Ok yeah whatever... next

But it's not necessarily racist to have a sexual preference?

E.g. you might have a sexual preference because you're racist (e.g. having stereotypes in your head about certain races) but this isn't the case with all - or even probably most - mixed-race relationships. You don't get to innately control your sexual attraction.

FFS nobody's saying that sexual preference = prejudice. How dumb donyou have to be to realize that marrying and having children with a man who openly expresses hateful views about the most marginalized women in society is problematic.

How do you think your daughter will internalize those messages? Even if she is absorbing what seem like positive stereotypes about anti-blackness that are not targeted at her because of her exoticism and light skin it causes harm.

The symptom of all these self hating black men is they have non-black wives. Not that all black men with non-black wives/partners are self hating. Please stop trying to derail the thread with your Hurt feelings.start your own thread on the main board about how nasty we are and cry about your feelings there instead

star

Why are black women seeking black men primarily? Why is that a good idea?

And why on earth is this a conundrum for anyone but those women? It's their choice.

How dumb donyou have to be to realize that marrying and having children with a man who openly expresses hateful views about the most marginalized women in society is problematic.

To me though, the opening post didn't state anything about hateful views? It was just about black men who support BLM and have white wives.

marrying and having children with a man who openly expresses hateful views about the most marginalized women in society is problematic.

Specifically who is doing this?

collegecarrot Yes, the goal posts seem to be moving. A moment ago they were just not doing their bit to marry black women, now they're openly hateful - or have I got confused. There are so many groups at fault here apparently - black men, white women, white men - everyone has done something wrong.

I hear you, "Satsuma*.

I think everyone should be supporting the BLM movement and active anti-racism, but I don't think sexual preferences or marital status necessarily undermine the support?

I think being married to a man who was dating me solely out of obligation for my race / religion / culture would be more offensive, personally.

I mentioned later on that these men give lists of reasons and excuses they have never been attracted to black women. I’m not going to name any one obviously and actually I’m talking of many men I have come across in RL.

I’m not sure what race you are but to put it simply supposing your man turned around to you and said I’m not attracted to black women because I like long wavy hair or lighter skin on a woman?
These are features which Eurocentric beauty standards praises.

The above was aimed at collegecarrot

The goal posts have not moved, we are in the middle of contributing toa conversation with you continually butting in with incorrect assumptions and feeling entitled to us humouring your ridiculous questions which you think are "gotcha" moments but just expose your own ignorance

I mentioned later on that these men give lists of reasons and excuses they have never been attracted to black women.

And that may be true, but I also think it's OK to have a sexual preference (as it's often something you're not in control of). Gay men aren't sexist for not wanting to date me for example. I do think there's a conversation that needs to be had about negative stereotyping and perceptions of black women that are very harmful, but I'm not sure that's the same question as put in the OP.

I’m not sure what race you are but to put it simply supposing your man turned around to you and said I’m not attracted to black women because I like long wavy hair or lighter skin on a woman?
These are features which Eurocentric beauty standards praises.

I hear that, but that's a conversation on beauty standards and whitewashing in the media that affects perceptions of what's "beautiful" in the black community. Not necessarily the fault of individual black men or individual white women, IMO. And I don't think that necessarily affects the validity of someone's support for BLM.